private account in a relationship?

WhiteHorse

Aways separate personal bank and savings accounts. You can have a joint household account that pays the general bills and then top it up as required.

belfastgirl23

Interesting all of the replies here are focused on not giving him access yet so many of us are control freaks about money and manage both our own and our household finances to the penny!

I suppose my question is why does he want this? Is it that he's really trying to get a grip of the finances and make sure that you're all sorted and comfortable? Or does he have a pattern of controlling behaviour and this is yet another element of it? What I'm thinking is that we only ever hear one half of the story and it's entirely possible that the family has had financial troubles in the past and he is just trying to prevent it happening again. I always wonder if it was a man posting saying his wife wanted access to his accounts would we have the same response?

But OP you know your situation best. Do you think your DH has any actual reason for this or is it a wider control issue? If the latter you're obviously right to resist it. But if it's the former then...I dunno TBH...

PS I speak as one constantly frustrated at not having access to DH's accounts when he's so lacksidasical about managing them and is reguarly late with transferring money to the household account just because he doesn't get around to it. So I have some sort of sympathy with the OP's husband

runninglea

say that you will both open as isa therefore the savings are tax free.

By having one each you can utilise your allowance

you could open one up at the same bank and put them online which both of you can access. This keeps your personal account personal

Plans_all_plans

If I wasn't married then there's no way I'd be giving someone my bank details (father of my kids or not) If I was married, I'd have no problem doing it.

Gloomendoom

My wife and I have separate accounts and a joint account that we set up when we got married but hardly use. We also have various saving accounts in our own names. Despite that it is all very much 'our' money and any account is dipped into if either, or both, of us need it.

In your situation I would be very wary about sticking your money into his savings account. Tell him that you will, but he will have to stick a ring on your finger first.

pinkshoes

Unless you've been in debt in the past, then I see no reason why he needs to see your bank account too.

Me and OH just pay a % each into the joint account (that we worked out as reasonable to cover all joint family stuff), then whatever is left over is for our own spending.

Could you not reverse the roll, i.e. tell him that YOU want to do all the accounts instead, so it'll be you needing access to his account?

rachbc

no way - its definitely not what all couples do. My OH and I are married - we have joint acc for bills, mortgage etc that we both transfer by SO into each month - CB and maintenance also go into this account. We then both have sole accounts and neither of us would ever presume to look or ask about what the other does with their money. I also suspect its against your banks t&c's to let anyone have access to your account - i you did and he did something you wouldn't have a leg to stand on, also I suspect that if you suffered any other banking fraud/ identity theft etc you wouldn't be covered as you had given out your details

No way would I be paying into a savings acct in someone elses name.

jenhug

me and hubby have a joint savings account and a joint current account. I don't understand the seperate money thing at all. Maybe we just don't have enough cash to worry about hiding any?

balletshoes

jenhug wrote: »

me and hubby have a joint savings account and a joint current account. I don't understand the seperate money thing at all. Maybe we just don't have enough cash to worry about hiding any?

but none of the OP's accounts are joint, and her OH doesn't sound too keen to start one up for the savings account. They're not married either, so not financially linked that way.

Oldernotwiser

We've been married almost 25 years and have various separate accounts to which we both have access when convenient. However, reading "I will put £150 of my wages into his saving account each month and he will transfer £300 or whatever he has left (he pays bills and I buy food, nappies etc)" sets all the alarm bells ringing, particularly for a couple who aren't married.

At the very least, I'd insist on both of you having full access to both personal accounts and a joint savings account where both signatures are needed for withdrawals.