private account in a relationship?

daska

January20 wrote: »

Yes, but you need to have a really solid relationship to have a joint account:

-1 of the parties could misuse the account.

-1 of the parties could empty the account and any overdraft facility on break up, and leave the other one to pay for it. The bank will always go for the easier target to recoup any money, and that might not necessarily be the guilty party.

-It can be difficult to virtually impossible to close a joint account when in trouble. There was a thread on here a few days ago where a poster found they owed money on a joint account they thought was closed.

I know I sound all full of doom and gloom, but we read so many stories on here every week! I think it would be better for the OP to sort out the savings account into a joint savings account and then to find out why her partner really wants complete access to her account before she goes down this route of joint current accounts. After all, if he refuses to put the savings account into both names....

(Having been there, as mentioned earlier)

There are ways round most of these problems.

Firstly, you don't have to pay your salary in, that can go into your personal account and then a STO set up to move into a bill account. The bill account can be a basic account that doesn't permit overdrafts (which are usually the main reason for not being able to shut the a/c) or even a prepaid card (but don't set up any direct debits from a card because they're a nightmare to cancel). Excess funds at the end of the month can be transferred into the savings account so there literally one month's worth of bill money in there.

daska

Just a thought, but why not tell him he can have access to your personal finances and put your money in his savings if/when he puts his signature to a marriage contract. That way you have some quite effective legal protection in the event of things going wrong.

bluestarrz

Thank you all for such quick replies. I told him when he first brought up the subject I wasn't happy with it, still he went on that all couples do it and should do to keep track of money/ spending etc. That seems to be his only reason for wanting me to do it? He hasn't gave me any other reason?

If he said he didn't trust me and thought perhaps I was keeping more money back for myself etc then I would agree to let him check my atm receipts but I don't want to be scanning through each others accounts weekly/daily and checking things.

Thus I have been putting it off because I thought maybe I was just being too private and maybe all couples did do that?

In regards to the savings I asked once, years ago about a joint account but he felt it was easier to transfer funds from his account directly into it each month and he wanted to be able to access them quickly if need be for car repairs/ going on site with work e.g. upfront hotel expenses etc he could later claim back.

x

January20

daska wrote: »

(Having been there, as mentioned earlier)

There are ways round most of these problems.

Firstly, you don't have to pay your salary in, that can go into your personal account and then a STO set up to move into a bill account. The bill account can be a basic account that doesn't permit overdrafts (which are usually the main reason for not being able to shut the a/c) or even a prepaid card (but don't set up any direct debits from a card because they're a nightmare to cancel). Excess funds at the end of the month can be transferred into the savings account so there literally one month's worth of bill money in there.

I agree with you daska. There are ways round this, but is opening a joint current account really the priority here?

daska

bluestarrz wrote: »

Thank you all for such quick replies. I told him when he first brought up the subject I wasn't happy with it, still he went on that all couples do it and should do to keep track of money/ spending etc. That seems to be his only reason for wanting me to do it? He hasn't gave me any other reason?

:rotfl: No, that might be what he wants to believe but it's far from factual.

bluestarrz wrote: »

If he said he didn't trust me and thought perhaps I was keeping more money back for myself etc then I would agree to let him check my atm receipts but I don't want to be scanning through each others accounts weekly/daily and checking things.

Thus I have been putting it off because I thought maybe I was just being too private and maybe all couples did do that?

If he trusts you he has no need to have access to your account. Offer to keep your receipts for him to check.

bluestarrz wrote: »

In regards to the savings I asked once, years ago about a joint account but he felt it was easier to transfer funds from his account directly into it each month and he wanted to be able to access them quickly if need be for car repairs/ going on site with work e.g. upfront hotel expenses etc he could later claim back.

Sounds like his own personal slush fund to do what he wants with. It is no more difficult to move money from a joint a/c than a single one.

Please excuse the cynicism but, viewing this from the outside, what he is wanting doesn't sound reasonable.

daska

January20 wrote: »

I agree with you daska. There are ways round this, but is opening a joint current account really the priority here?

No, but it's far safer than giving someone you're not even married to completely unrestricted access to your personal account.

debsy42

I wonder if he is your partner or accountant, all this nonsense about setting budgets, updating spreadsheets and checking your transactions in your bank account. You shouldn't give him access to your online banking under any circumstances, god knows what standing orders, transfers etc he'll set up leaving you liable for a potential big mess

balletshoes

bluestarrz wrote: »

Thank you all for such quick replies. I told him when he first brought up the subject I wasn't happy with it,
still he went on that all couples do it and should do to keep track of money/ spending etc.
That seems to be his only reason for wanting me to do it? He hasn't gave me any other reason?

If he said he didn't trust me and thought perhaps I was keeping more money back for myself etc then I would agree to let him check my atm receipts but I don't want to be scanning through each others accounts weekly/daily and checking things.

Thus I have been putting it off because I thought maybe I was just being too private and maybe all couples did do that?

In regards to the savings I asked once, years ago about a joint account but he felt it was easier to transfer funds from his account directly into it each month and he wanted to be able to access them quickly if need be for car repairs/ going on site with work e.g. upfront hotel expenses etc he could later claim back.

x

I hope you've seen, from this thread, that its most definitely not what "all couples do". Not even married-for-years couples all do that.

Sally_A

If you were in debt, I can understand his request - a lot of people are advised on this forum to see where money from both parties goes.

However, reading your post, it seems you are both managing OK, if this is the case I'd say no.

Does he perhaps feel you have more money to spend on yourself than he does? Not forgetting, that to a man, clothes, shoes and make up are a frivolity; whereas the turbo nutter mega drill that he wants is a necessity .

Carl31

We do that. Its not a control thing, its just easier to manage. We have a joint account now, but didn't.

We work things that all money is ours. We pay together and spend together. We can both access each others accounts online though, but I usually manage the money side of things