school insisting my autistic DS wear shorts

daska

Valli wrote: »

I am so sorry to hijack this thread BUT if you are employed as a teacher and you are carrying out your directed tasks (teaching) then surely it is the SCHOOL which will be prosecuted - not you. You might well be involved in a court case, should it come to that, but I think you'll find that if the unthinkable happened the school would be liable to pay compensation, not you. As long as you were doing your job. Apart from anything else there would be no point in suing you as you are unlikely to be in a position to pay compensation.

@ OP I think the Senco is the way to go. It is acknowledged that children with Autism (and Asperger's) have issues with routine and can become stressed and distressed readily. Moreover if your son is 18 months older than his classmates his physical development is 18 months ahead of theirs - if he's at the top end of primary school he's probably starting puberty.

Good luck with it all.

I believe concerned43's son is 14.

ikati5

I have a teen with As under Camhs, I have always found them to be very supportive regarding anything that causes distress to the child.

I am sure Ofsted would be interested to hear about a school that was failing to meet the individual needs of the child.

milliebear00001

Valli wrote: »

I am so sorry to hijack this thread BUT if you are employed as a teacher and you are carrying out your directed tasks (teaching) then surely it is the SCHOOL which will be prosecuted - not you. You might well be involved in a court case, should it come to that, but I think you'll find that if the unthinkable happened the school would be liable to pay compensation, not you. As long as you were doing your job. Apart from anything else there would be no point in suing you as you are unlikely to be in a position to pay compensation.
.

Unfortunately, this is not true. The buck stops with me.

Paying compensation isn't likely to worry many PE teachers - but losing a career we've worked hard for certainly does.

Brighton_belle

GlasweJen wrote: »

I keep imagining this kid as a grown man on his honeymoon unable to stick on a pair of shorts to walk along the beach with his new wife, or take a dip in a hot tub, or use a sauna or a steam room at a gym. No taking the kids swimming or playing in the uni 5 a sides team.

But yeah, sure, it's just shorts.

My DH never wears shorts and isn't the slightest bit interested in any of these activities and we are very happy together: honeymoon last year didn't require him to wear shorts.Didn't even cross our mind. A non issue for us. My dad never ever wore shorts and took us sailing lots as kids. Never seemed a problem.

Is there not a case for him learning to adapt to shorts later in life? Adolesence is not a good time for many with embarassment about our bodies. Why push this now?

jellyhead

t0rt0ise wrote: »

I can't imagine anyone saying that's not Aspergerish. It's certainly not 'normal'.

He has been sent for assessment, but doesn't seem autistic enough for a diagnosis, but the doctor has asked for more reports and I've got some questionnaires to fill in. We shall see. I've been through it with eldest too, and he was never autistic enough to get the diagnosis, but he's being assessed again now too. I'm not saying I'm against the diagnosis, I just don't think he will get it because he is much closer to 'normal' than his brother was.

My youngest's obsessions aren't really 'normal', I realise that, but lots of people have anxieties or obsessions without being autistic.

If he is autistic, its at the mild end of the spectrum. My boys can both comply with school rules about shorts, even though both hate shorts.

OP's son might find it harder though.

milliebear00001

Gingham_R wrote: »

We dont' need to prepare them by proving how harsh the world really is though do we?

We also don't need to prepare this child for having to wear shorts.

It's not different rules - it's basic disability discrimination not to look at his needs and treat him as an INDIVIDUAL.

I can't bear this 'don't treat them differently' attitude that permeates our education system. Why not? This child IS different. This is no different to sitting a hearing impaired child at the back of the class and telling him to try harder to hear.

When the deaf child is out there in the big harsh world, people won't make allowances for his hearing difficulties, so he needs to be treated like everyone else with the same rules as them.:(

It isn't always helpful to try to teach a child with ASD as we would teach children without the disorder. It can be helpful though, sometimes. It is much less helpful to reinforce their difference continually though, by treating them differently where this can be avoided, and where they could be encouraged, with help and support, to adjust their reactions to stressful situations.

I have never met a parent of a child with ASD who wanted their child to stand out as 'different' any more than necessary, or be unprepared for the realities of life beyond school.

duchy

GlasweJen wrote: »

I keep imagining this kid as a grown man on his honeymoon unable to stick on a pair of shorts to walk along the beach with his new wife, or take a dip in a hot tub, or use a sauna or a steam room at a gym. No taking the kids swimming or playing in the uni 5 a sides team.
But yeah, sure, it's just shorts.

What utter carp Jen !!
There plenty of non ASD adults who choose not to do any of those things because they don't like to wear shorts -no-one thinks they are deprived-talk about completely missing the big picture !!

<applaudes GR> The voice of reason and correct data in a mass of misconceptions .

And to the poster who "assumes" all kids with ASD are statemented-You assume wrong !! Shockingly many education depts have a policy of not statementing even with quite severe disabilities -replacing it instead with Action plus which has far fewer teeth . My son had a statement and even with it-I had to fight for proper provision-without it-it would have been even harder.

The OP's son is getting extremely anxious -quite honestly I'm amazed the SENCO isn't involved and if getting them involved doesn't change the decision (I don't have any problem with a long term action plan to get him into shorts-just the draconeon "he must do it now" but then PE teachers don't have a good rep for empathy with special needs on the whole) then get the local education department involved. Quite honestly it shouldn't need ANY of these steps-with ASD you pick your battles and let the small stuff go -and this is small stuff. He's not refusing to do PE -he simply doesn't want to do it in shorts (many ASD kids won't do it at all).

I'm not just speaking as a mother-I've also worked in the high school enviroment supporting kids with ASD and I'm disgusted (although not totally surprised) at the school's handling of this matter thus far.

Gingham_R

milliebear00001 wrote: »

I have never met a parent of a child with ASD who wanted their child to stand out as 'different' any more than necessary, or be unprepared for the realities of life beyond school.

In that case, wouldn't you accept that a child well into puberty in a class where he's the only one would be standing out as 'different' in a pair of shorts? And that this is not 'necessary'?

Bitsy_Beans

GlasweJen wrote: »

I keep imagining this kid as a grown man on his honeymoon unable to stick on a pair of shorts to walk along the beach with his new wife, or take a dip in a hot tub, or use a sauna or a steam room at a gym. No taking the kids swimming or playing in the uni 5 a sides team.

But yeah, sure, it's just shorts.

with all due respect is any of that life changing? My husband rarely wears shorts, even when we went to Florida on our honeymoon when it was July and unbearably hot. Its not vital that the OP wears shorts is it? Or are we going to then start making assumptions that because the OPs son isn't being encouraged to wear shorts ergo he won't be challenged or encouraged elsewhere in his life?

peachyprice wrote: »

So instead of teaching him strageties that will help him cope when he's of an age where he no longer has a choice and a mum to back him up the school should just let him do as he wishes? That will help him in the long term how?

But just where ARE the school teaching him strategies? A flat refusal isn't helping anyone. Where possible those on the spectrum should be encouraged and supported but sometimes compromise is also a way forward. If the OPs son was allowed to wear longer shorts he could perhaps potentially build up to that. But no, that doesnt appear to be a option.

Gingham_R

Thank you, duchy.