school insisting my autistic DS wear shorts

Gingham_R

mirrorimage0 wrote: »

may i just ask is this a mainstream school. it sounds like it if they are trying to get everyone doing/wearing the same thing they dont want one rule for one and one rule for another.

They don't have to change the rules. They DO have to accommodate disabilities.

If it's a rule that all children must walk up stairs on the left, can a wheelchair user use a ramp? That is no different to this situation. The child MUST be treated differently because he has autism, just as a deaf child MUST be treated differently to enable her to access the curriculum.

He wants to do PE and that's fantastic. Let the boy do it in his tracksuit bottoms. The other children need to understand that his lack of shorts isn't him getting away with breaking a rule - it's about him being different and the teachers understanding and respecting that.

Gingham_R

Nicki

darlyd wrote: »

So no not all Autistic people grow up. It's a mental disability. Makes me so angry people do not recognize mental disabilities as much as physical disabilities, especially schools.

I am pretty sure (though apologise if I am wrong!) that Glaswejen is herself autistic, or a person with autism if you prefer. I've read her posts before, as a parent of a child with autism, and have found them very helpful and insightful.

On the original topic, I think it depends on whether the child cannot wear the shorts because it sends him into such a state of agitation that he cannot function (in which case adaptations should be made) or whether he dislikes wearing the shorts, but could be desensitised to doing so by the usual methods (social stories, practise at home, etc) in which case in the long term, as Glaswejen has pointed out, I think this would be beneficial for him. A lot of doors get closed to children (and adults) with autism due to their issues, and it is often better for their quality of life to try and work with them to open these doors if that can be done.

milliebear00001

Gingham_R wrote: »

They don't have to change the rules. They DO have to accommodate disabilities.

If it's a rule that all children must walk up stairs on the left, can a wheelchair user use a ramp? That is no different to this situation. The child MUST be treated differently because he has autism, just as a deaf child MUST be treated differently to enable her to access the curriculum.

He wants to do PE and that's fantastic. Let the boy do it in his tracksuit bottoms. The other children need to understand that his lack of shorts isn't him getting away with breaking a rule - it's about him being different and the teachers understanding and respecting that.

Children with autism don't always have to be treated differently though. If it is possible, it is in the child's interests to be treated as similarly to other pupils as possible.

In my experience, many autistic children are capable of managing and assimilating change, when givewn help, encouragement and time to do so. Simply accepting that 'this is what he wants, so this is what we will do' is not necessarily necessary or helpful in the longer term - especially as children become adults and need to find a place in wider society..

The child with autism I had in my class last year could also be manipulative, and was perfectly capable of using his 'differentness' to achieve his own ends. He didn't like assembly and would only attend if he could sit next to a particular child. We managed this slowly but firmly and eventually he was 'persuaded' to adjust his behaviour. I am not suggesting that is going on here, but it certainly isn't impossible just becasue the child has autism.

Gingham_R

milliebear00001 wrote: »

In my experience, many autistic children are capable of managing and assimilating change, when givewn help, encouragement and time to do so. Simply accepting that 'this is what he wants, so this is what we will do' is not necessarily necessary or helpful in the longer term - especially as children become adults and need to find a place in wider society..

What help, encouragement and time is this child being given I wonder? And how much physical education is he missing out on in the meantime?

I worry about how autistic kids are being treated in mainstream education.

My experience is that there are a few teachers who understand or who are prepared to try to understand and many others who don't understand, don't want to understand and see kids with social problems as being a nuisance.

When kids can't read or do maths, most of the time they are given support for it. Not enough, perhaps, and not always with good grace, but it is becoming more understood that these children have a learning difference.

What happens when kids can't understand social conventions or sit still in lessons or have friendship problems? Are they supported? Sometimes. More often it's treated as a moral failing. They could do it if they tried. They can do it sometimes - when they feel like it. They're not trying hard enough.

I even heard one teacher say that a child with a hearing problem 'can hear when he wants to'. Another said that a child with learning difficulties was 'lazy', despite clear evidence to the contrary.

It's not good enough.

An elephant not only can't climb a tree - it doesn't have to climb a tree. It doesn't need to be put in the same box as a monkey.

iwilldebtfree

Very interesting thread. Just my thoughts.... The reason why he does not want to wear the shorts needs to be identified then work from there.

For example,
Is it a sensory issue? ..... does he not like the feel of air on his legs, the cold floor of the hall when he sits down, is it the material of the shorts, the length of them etc?

Is it inflexibilty? does he understand the change of clothes in school and the reasons for this?

Is it social difficulties? if he has been laughed at previously, what is his perception of the situation? and if the others are laughing at him then the teacher needs to address this with the other children so it doesn't happen again!

You could either work with the class teacher and SENCo to identify the reasons or if you know what it is then discuss it with them, include the head in the discussion if you have had the conversation before with them for another point of view!! Do you have a parent partnership where you live that could support you with this liaison?

The National Autistic Society website is a useful for research and to print off information for school!

And above all.... who is it a problem for? Whilst I appreciate schools have their rules, the rules need to be bent ever so slightly whilst the issue is addressed. If the issue is causing so much anxiety for the young person, then personalised strategies such as reward charts, de-sensitisation etc etc need to be considered. But there again, he may never wear shorts and if that's the case then at least he's joining the lesson. What you don't need is an aversion to P.E. that is more difficult to unpick later down the line.

The very best of wishes to you x

t0rt0ise

DorsetGirl wrote: »

It could well be a sensory issue.

I would make an appointment with the Head and start quoting the Disability Discrimination Act.

Except it's the Equality Act now. Go for it. To exclude children with disabilities for this sort of reason is nonsense.

concerned43

Thanks for all replies - however some posters do not understand autism - an not all autism is the same (glaswegen).
my ds is in mainstream school, the PE teacher is female and no one are taking these kids aside and warning them about their teasing!
If only these teachers could see the state my DS get into going to school on a PE day they would get a timy glimpse into our lives!
the night before he cannot sleep for worrying, all the way to school he seeks assurance that everything will be OK and that no one will make fun of him - he takes deep breaths and tries to calm down before entering the school gates - and all of this because the school wants him to wear bloody shorts - God I get so angry!!!:mad:
If it was a something major that would effect his future then I would be the first to try to 'desensitize' him - but its just shorts, it has no bearing on him becoming an adult if he wears shorts or not! ...and no, he does not wear shorts in the summer or goes swimming.
I will ask CAMHS, failing that I am going to exclude him from PE when done in doors and to hell with the school.

concerned43

In reply to another post - my DS gets help with his reading and spelling but that's all! they ignore his pastoral needs completely.

Gingham_R

concerned43 wrote: »

I will ask CAMHS, failing that I am going to exclude him from PE when done in doors and to hell with the school.

I hope CAMHS will help you get through to the staff. If they don't (not sure if it's within their remit?) then you could try Parent Partnership.

Failing that, I'd exclude him from PE too and agree with you completely. This is not a skill he needs to learn for his future wellbeing.