school insisting my autistic DS wear shorts

concerned43

the school is insisting my DS wear shorts for PE - however he hates shorts and refuses to wear them (has never worn them) - this, i believe is part of his autism. I have spoken with the school about this and they insist that my DS wears the shorts! I have written to the school about DS's adversion to shorts and the one time he did wear them to PE - he was ridiculed by his peers because of his hairy legs (he is a year and a half older that his class mates), this sent him into extreme anxiety (he has a severe anxiety disorder). I got no relpy from the school. Today he was sent to detention at lunch time because he wore tracksuit bottoms instead of shorts!! I am at my wits end with this. what can I do?

Plans_all_plans

Have you spoken to the SENCO at the school about this? I'd be surprised if you can't come to some arrangement over the issue. If not the SENCO, then there should be a governor with responsibility for Inclusion, who you could contact.

Why exactly did they say he has to wear the shorts? Surely they gave a reason?

fluffnutter

A difficult one. You say they insist he wears the shorts. What reason have they given? I think it might be an idea to ask to have a meeting with whomever is making this decision and some other appropriate person, e.g. deputy head or person responsible for pupil welfare if they have one, and see whether you can't all come to an agreement. It seems rather inflexible to insist that your son continues with something that promotes such anxiety, particularly as he's happy to wear tracksuit bottoms which are, after all, perfectly reasonable things to wear. It's not like he wants to do it in his Batman outfit is it?

If this doesn't do the trick, how about approaching someone sympathetic on the school governers' board to see if they'll take up your cause for you?

Gigglepig

Can you provide a note from a medical professional?

victory

Can you not get his medical records from your GP and show the school or the GP to write a letter to the school?

concerned43

the school say it is school policy! I have spoken with all parties involved who refuse to budge on the issue. DS is a CAHMS ths week was thinking of asking them to write a letter of support, otherwise I dont know where else to go with this....thinking of withdrawing him from PE to see what effect that has on their decision.

victory

concerned43 wrote: »

the school say it is school policy! I have spoken with all parties involved who refuse to budge on the issue. DS is a CAHMS ths week was thinking of asking them to write a letter of support, otherwise I dont know where else to go with this....thinking of withdrawing him from PE to see what effect that has on their decision.

I may be completely wrong on this and please correct me if I am wrong but I remember reading somewhere that shorts in P.E was for health and safety reasons, that the kids could not get their elasticated bottoms/feet caught in the bars etc and it is a world gone mad, I know that both are worn at my DS schools, shorts inside, tracksuit bottoms outside in the winter and if it is reversed or they have been forgotten they never get sent out they just wear whatthey have that time and a note gets sent back, if they do have some spare they are asked to wear those but if they refuse there is not such a fuss as in this school.

If it is making the child anxious and the P.E teacher can see that I am at a loss to see why they cannot relent and make the teachers, your sons and the other childrens life a lot easier?

concerned43

I understand it is for H&S reasons but what is the alternative? my DS would not do gym if he has to wear shorts.

as some of it is his embarressment over hairy legs - should I get him to shave?

tessie_bear

we have had this....id make an appointment with someone in authority at the school go in and explain...say what u are going to buy for him to do pe in and im sure u can all come to a deal where your son doesnt suffer....at the end of the day u all want whats best for your son their pupil....good luck

WestonDave

I do have some sympathy with the school here despite their apparent hard hearted approach - half the school probably doesn't like PE, and the teachers probably get sick of lame excuses trying to get out of some aspect of it, trying to get away with non standard kit etc, with a fair proportion of it probably backed up by parents who don't see the value in exercise as part of the routine. Once they start letting someone get away with it, next week someone else's parents will be sending in a note inspired by little Jonny who doesn't like wearing shorts and uses your son's leeway to persuade his parents to write a supporting note and before long all discipline is gone. On the other hand if you get some kind of medical back up then they can use that as a defining point at which they allow an exception - maybe they need better communication here.

I also wonder whether its something you can work on progressively with him to make him more at ease (wearing them at home for example) - if for no other reason than to avoid adding yet another thing that makes him different from his peers and gives them something to point at him about.

WestonDave

Or thinking laterally - how short do the shorts have to be - is there any scope for long shorts and socks leaving just knees visible in between?