school insisting my autistic DS wear shorts

hightara

glaswejen

dont let this go, does your son have any social/mental health support workers?
have a word with them if he does, he should not have to get distressed over this.

my 16 year old son was diagnosed 12 years ago with autism, he will not under any circumstances wear certain clothes, he has always been like this, anything that draws attention or perceived attention to him he will not wear.

minimoneysaver

Very well put continualdiamond! Just because a child has autism, it doesn't mean that they are exempt from all rules and regulations. It means that the people around the child need to learn ways to help the child accept change, not just make up their own rules. At some point many of these children WILL be independent adults in our society. Not all children with a diagnosis of autism are going to grow up to need round the clock care and be in homes which will cater to their every need. As educators, it is our job to help children to accept that change does happen and that each setting has different rules.

peachyprice

^^^^ What she said.

OP, I would attempt to turn this into a positive for your son rather than a negative.

He won't always be a child and you won't always be there fighting for things he doesn't want to do. Take this opportunity to formulate a stragety for dealing with situations that he doesn't like so that as he progresses through life and encounters similar situations (which he WILL) he can deal with them without going into meltdown. I wonder if this is what the school is, rather clumsily admittedly, trying to achieve?

continualdiamond

It definately won't work if you just say 'you have to do this etc etc'. Most pupils in my school need a reward for doing what you've asked them to do.

I still work with this pupil and the reward card is constant, its on the table next to them for every lesson. It worked for changing for PE so we use it all day now. It can be that they refuse to do the lesson, or walk out of the classroom, anything really.

However if they have done what is asked of them, then the lesson is stopped 5 minutes early as they have the reward. That means many times in the day, so 1 lesson before break = reward, 1 lesson before lunch = reward, 1 lesson after lunch = reward. So its not dragged out to be only 5 minutes after a whole school day.

My class is very small though, 5 students and 3 staff so allowing a pupil to have their reward isn't as distracting as in a mainstream class of course.

daska

He's 14? and from what you've said the other kids in his class are presumably 12ish so physically he's probably considerably different from them? I think I'd start by speaking with CAMHs to see if they can help you come up with a strategy to address this. Re the school I would be wanting to know exactly what they are doing to ensure that he will not be being teased by his classmates. Is his PE teacher male and if so does he wear shorts and if not would he be prepared to in order to help ease the anxiety your son has - might help if he's not the only one with hairy legs?

affordmylife

you probably should have dealt with this issue as it has been going on for many years before you chose a school for your son with this uniform policy. you chose the school you accept he schools policies.

if you allow one child to not wear shorts you will be inundated with other kids who wont do this or that for whatever reason.

i work in a special school and we have many autistic childrens who are allowed all of their differences without any problem however this is not always the case in mainstream school.

we have children that will NOT wear a certain colour. now if you chose a school with a uniform of a colour that your child refused to wear what would you do???

its tough i know but we all have to play by the rules.

i dont agree with some of the uniform policies at my dds school but i chose to send her there because i think it is best for her education so i have to accept the bits that i dont prefer.

Bitsy_Beans

At the end of the day if it's a sensory issue there is no quick fix and I would expect school to be perhaps working WITH you and the SENCO on how to best approach this. Telling him flatly to wear it will not have the desired effect, just adds More anxiety to an already stressful situation.
My son HATES wearing his school uniform and the school did initially suggest he didn't have to wear it. However we have managed to find a work around. Perhaps there is one, say 3/4 shorts maybe for OPs son. I do think school are being unduly difficult about this.

milliebear00001

There is no easy answer to this, but from my own perspective as a teacher...

I am responsible for any accidents and mishaps that happen in my PE lessons - not the school - not the governors - me! I can be personally sued or prosecuted for anything that goes wrong on 'my watch', for up to 8 years after the event has occurred.

In my Local Authority, children are strictly not allowed to wear any form of trousers or loose T shirts for gym - this is for health and safety reasons. So at my school, your son would be able to wear long bottoms for outdoor games and dance, and for floor work during gym, but her would not be allowed to take part in gym sessions where equipment such as wall bars, vaults, ramps, towers etc are used.

It is difficult to see a way around this. If they are excluding him from all PE, then they are probably not adhering to the legislation requiring them to do everything they can to provide equal access to aducation, but if they have made 'reasonable adaptations' in order to accommodate his needs whilst maintaining their duty to act within health and safety rules, then they have probably done everything they can do.

Oldernotwiser

What does he wear at home in the holidays when it's very hot? What about going swimming?

daska

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

What does he wear at home in the holidays when it's very hot? What about going swimming?

It's not a compulsory subject for KS3 so he might not go swimming at all. Some of us keep our legs covered all year round - in my case out of consideration for everyone else's digestion :rotfl: