school insisting my autistic DS wear shorts

GlasweJen

I had to wear a skirt to school, it was green. I hate green, I hate skirts, I hate tights too but now I work in a professional environment and we have to wear business attire and sometimes wearing a skirt is appropriate so I'm glad the school pushed me to wear a skirt at 12 years old so I didn't have too big a problem wearing one as a 25 year old.

Autistic people do grow up.

Darlyd

GlasweJen wrote: »

ears old so I didn't have too big a problem wearing one as a 25 year old.

Autistic people do grow up.

URGH not all!

I care for an Autistic man, he wears the same clothes daily, he can not cope with change. If anything gets changed he get angry and violent.

DD2 goes to school with An Autistic little boy, who only wears shorts to school, he can not cope with wearing trousers, he also wears a hat telling everyone he is Autistic.

So no not all Autistic people grow up. It's a mental disability. Makes me so angry people do not recognize mental disabilities as much as physical disabilities, especially schools.

I second the above advice about speaking to the governors, and refrain from letting him to PE, write a note for them to say the reason and that you are awaiting response from the governors.

GlasweJen

Well Peter pan must have neglected to come and take me off to Neverland then. I didn't realise autistic children never grew up, what the hell were my parents thinking by putting me through school, uni, making me get a job, telling me to progress in said job? Can I sue them for this?

angelil

On the one hand I can see where the school is coming from here...the uniform is there for a reason.

BUT in this case their reaction is not right. Did the little bleeders making fun of your son not get punished for their behaviour? Now it's the child with special needs being punished while others get away with their own way of behaving outside the norm...!

Justicia

DorsetGirl wrote: »

I would make an appointment with the Head and start quoting the Disability Discrimination Act.

Does not exist any longer - replaced by the Equality Act 2010

LandyAndy

Does this child have a diagnosis of ASD and a statement?

I'm not surprised the school takes this attitude. Plenty of schools are utterly uncomprehending of how to deal with children with autism.

Well Peter pan must have neglected to come and take me off to Neverland then. I didn't realise autistic children never grew up, what the hell were my parents thinking by putting me through school, uni, making me get a job, telling me to progress in said job? Can I sue them for this?

No but you could learn some humility and gratitude and that it is 'children with autism' not 'autistic children'.

GlasweJen

LandyAndy wrote: »

Does this child have a diagnosis of ASD and a statement?

I'm not surprised the school takes this attitude. Plenty of schools are utterly uncomprehending of how to deal with children with autism.

No but you could learn some humility and gratitude and that it is 'children with autism' not 'autistic children'.

Thank you for being offended on my behalf :rotfl:

meritaten

I too am half with the parent and half with the school.............I can see both sides here.
OP - as another poster suggested just how short do the shorts have to be? can you compromise with the very long shorts I see some men wearing? or the huge basketball shorts?
and could you get your child to practise wearing them at home - or take him on an all day shopping expedition to find shorts he feels comfortable in?
I would be working at both and hope to heaven that some sort of compromise can be achieved!

continualdiamond

I work in a special needs school so I am assuming just by the nature of the school that majority of staff are a bit more understanding of issues like this (trying to cover myself before someone says all schools are).

Anyway a pupil that I work with refused to get changed for PE, they didn't have too at the previous mainstream school, were allowed to do PE in normal everyday clothes.

We had a big battle when they came to my school as yes we did insist they get changed for PE, all the other pupils did and the staff set an example with also getting changed.

The pupil responded well to a reward card, something they liked doing, so we visually had symbols on of two things they liked doing. They were shown this everytime when it came to change for PE, they would get the reward just for changing for PE, we didn't change our minds and say they had to join in PE, it was just the getting changed we were focusing on.

Yes of course they refused for ages, so naturally they didn't get the reward. Slowly but surely the pupil started responding to the reward, now getting changed for PE isn't an issue, they go and get their PE kit just like the rest of the class and get changed.

It took 6 mths for this to work, but now the pupil knows when the PE lesson is finished and because they changed, they get the reward straight away. Still have the odd occasion when they don't, but no reward then.

I know every person with autism is different and what worked for one doesn't always work for another etc. However people with autism can accept change, its just a slow progress and I always remember going to listen to a talk from a lady who was autistic and her way of dealing with things was calling them 'rules.

Her example always stick in my mind, the rule was at her house you ate off red plates when you had dinner, but she knew that the rule was when you ate out it was allowed to be on any colour plate.

This was her way of making sense of everything, teaching herself 'rules' to get about her day.

hightara

glaswejen

dont let this go, does your son have any social/mental health support workers?
have a word with them if he does, he should not have to get distressed over this.

my 16 year old son was diagnosed 12 years ago with autism, he will not under any circumstances wear certain clothes, he has always been like this, anything that draws attention or perceived attention to him he will not wear.