school insisting my autistic DS wear shorts

milliebear00001

Gingham_R wrote: »

What help, encouragement and time is this child being given I wonder? And how much physical education is he missing out on in the meantime?

I worry about how autistic kids are being treated in mainstream education.

My experience is that there are a few teachers who understand or who are prepared to try to understand and many others who don't understand, don't want to understand and see kids with social problems as being a nuisance.

When kids can't read or do maths, most of the time they are given support for it. Not enough, perhaps, and not always with good grace, but it is becoming more understood that these children have a learning difference.

What happens when kids can't understand social conventions or sit still in lessons or have friendship problems? Are they supported? Sometimes. More often it's treated as a moral failing. They could do it if they tried. They can do it sometimes - when they feel like it. They're not trying hard enough.

I even heard one teacher say that a child with a hearing problem 'can hear when he wants to'. Another said that a child with learning difficulties was 'lazy', despite clear evidence to the contrary.

It's not good enough.

An elephant not only can't climb a tree - it doesn't have to climb a tree. It doesn't need to be put in the same box as a monkey.

Within our society, it is far easier for all individuals to exist happily if they are able to exist while acting within societal expectations and norms. If people with autism can be encouraged to adapt their desires, they will find life much easier. It is a harsh world, and while in school we can often make allowances and extra provisions and have a different set of rules for such children, as adults, this is unlikely to happen. We need to prepare them, as teachers and parents, for this, as best we can.

I don't know what sort of support the OP's child is getting at his school. In my experience, children with autism are almost always statemented, and so generally receive a high degree of support - usually in the form of individual help, although this does depend on the degree of disability experienced. It is very difficult teaching a child with autism - I make no bones about that (although I have adored the children with autism I have been lucky enough to have in my classes). It can be incredibly disruptive in a classroom, and it undoubtedly can affect the quality of education received by the other children in that class. Teachers, by and large, do their best, given the large numbers of children, with hugely differing needs, they are expected to manage and support every day.

Gingham_R

concerned43 wrote: »

In reply to another post - my DS gets help with his reading and spelling but that's all! they ignore his pastoral needs completely.

:(Exactly what I was saying above. I don't understand why we're SO behind in this area.

Gingham_R

milliebear00001 wrote: »

It is a harsh world, and while in school we can often make allowances and extra provisions and have a different set of rules for such children, as adults, this is unlikely to happen. We need to prepare them, as teachers and parents, for this, as best we can..

We dont' need to prepare them by proving how harsh the world really is though do we?

We also don't need to prepare this child for having to wear shorts.

It's not different rules - it's basic disability discrimination not to look at his needs and treat him as an INDIVIDUAL.

I can't bear this 'don't treat them differently' attitude that permeates our education system. Why not? This child IS different. This is no different to sitting a hearing impaired child at the back of the class and telling him to try harder to hear.

When the deaf child is out there in the big harsh world, people won't make allowances for his hearing difficulties, so he needs to be treated like everyone else with the same rules as them.:(

Valli

milliebear00001 wrote: »

There is no easy answer to this, but from my own perspective as a teacher...

I am responsible for any accidents and mishaps that happen in my PE lessons - not the school - not the governors - me! I can be personally sued or prosecuted for anything that goes wrong on 'my watch', for up to 8 years after the event has occurred.

In my Local Authority, children are strictly not allowed to wear any form of trousers or loose T shirts for gym - this is for health and safety reasons. So at my school, your son would be able to wear long bottoms for outdoor games and dance, and for floor work during gym, but her would not be allowed to take part in gym sessions where equipment such as wall bars, vaults, ramps, towers etc are used.

I am so sorry to hijack this thread BUT if you are employed as a teacher and you are carrying out your directed tasks (teaching) then surely it is the SCHOOL which will be prosecuted - not you. You might well be involved in a court case, should it come to that, but I think you'll find that if the unthinkable happened the school would be liable to pay compensation, not you. As long as you were doing your job. Apart from anything else there would be no point in suing you as you are unlikely to be in a position to pay compensation.

@ OP I think the Senco is the way to go. It is acknowledged that children with Autism (and Asperger's) have issues with routine and can become stressed and distressed readily. Moreover if your son is 18 months older than his classmates his physical development is 18 months ahead of theirs - if he's at the top end of primary school he's probably starting puberty.

Good luck with it all.

peachyprice

Gingham_R wrote: »

We dont' need to prepare them by proving how harsh the world really is though do we?

We also don't need to prepare this child for having to wear shorts.

It's not different rules - it's basic disability discrimination not to look at his needs and treat him as an INDIVIDUAL.

I can't bear this 'don't treat them differently' attitude that permeates our education system. Why not? This child IS different. This is no different to sitting a hearing impaired child at the back of the class and telling him to try harder to hear.

When the deaf child is out there in the big harsh world, people won't make allowances for his hearing difficulties, so he needs to be treated like everyone else with the same rules as them.:(

So instead of teaching him strageties that will help him cope when he's of an age where he no longer has a choice and a mum to back him up the school should just let him do as he wishes? That will help him in the long term how?

Humphrey10

Gingham_R wrote: »

I can't bear this 'don't treat them differently' attitude that permeates our education system. Why not? This child IS different.

I know adults with Asperger's (and a few I strongly suspect are un-diagnosed - they tick all the boxes) who live productive lives and have jobs - from speaking to them, they say school life was hard, they were not treated differently, they found many things much harder than other children, but they were challenged and supported to grow into productive adults.

Maybe the OP's son's condition is more serious than that of the people I know - I suspect it is.

Gingham_R

peachyprice wrote: »

So instead of teaching him strageties that will help him cope when he's of an age where he no longer has a choice and a mum to back him up the school should just let him do as he wishes? That will help him in the long term how?

Because his self esteem won't have been crushed into a puree?

Because he would have been able to put all his struggle into learning to do things he really does need to know how to do?

Because an exhausted child who has to battle every little thing cannot learn as well as one whose teachers sensibly choose achievable goals and help him work towards them?

Because this isn't about him doing 'what he wishes'. This is about understanding that he has a disability and there some things that are too hard for him. A child with a social disability forced to do something that makes him more socially isolated (because of his physical development being so different as well as his reaction to this demand) is a child who is being damaged by the adults supposedly caring for him.

Building up to this over weeks or months is reasonable - if one believes that he really does need to learn how to wear shorts (!) - but expecting it now is showing a complete lack of understanding of his needs.

Gingham_R

Humphrey10 wrote: »

I know adults with Asperger's (and a few I strongly suspect are un-diagnosed - they tick all the boxes) who live productive lives and have jobs - from speaking to them, they say school life was hard, they were not treated differently, they found many things much harder than other children, but they were challenged and supported to grow into productive adults.

Maybe the OP's son's condition is more serious than that of the people I know - I suspect it is.

Autism is a spectrum. One person may be socially uncomfortable and find change unsettling. Another may never communicate verbally or be able to dress himself.

GlasweJen

I keep imagining this kid as a grown man on his honeymoon unable to stick on a pair of shorts to walk along the beach with his new wife, or take a dip in a hot tub, or use a sauna or a steam room at a gym. No taking the kids swimming or playing in the uni 5 a sides team.

But yeah, sure, it's just shorts.

GlasweJen

But surely the fact that the OPs child is mainstream educated points to him being on the "teachable" end of the spectrum?