school insisting my autistic DS wear shorts

Gingham_R

jackieb wrote: »

You didn't just say that?! I'm lost for words.

I think grey-lady and her colleagues must have been doign something very right for that little boy. Credit to them for that.

Times have changed since then and there's more understanding of the children (though clearly there is a LONG way to go). Other children with similar problems wouldn't have been in mainstream schooling so people teaching then wouldn't have experience of children with more immediate needs.

duchy

Excuse me-I'm just off to find a brick wall to go bang my head against :eek:

ASD Autistic SPECTRUM disorder -One size does NOT fit all !!

Humphrey10

JC9297 wrote: »

Likewise, GlasweJen is not necessarily representative of many people with autism as she has obviously been able to have a relatively normal life i.e. uni, job, relationships.

She is representative of many people with autism. Just not all.

All these assumptions that a diagnosis of any disorder/condition means you are unable to participate in normal life (eg, have a job, live on your own) really annoy me.

Edit: but I still don't see why the school won't let him wear shorts. I bet they let Muslim girls cover their legs in PE.

jackieb

Humphrey10 wrote: »

She is representative of many people with autism. Just not all.

All these assumptions that a diagnosis of any disorder/condition means you are unable to participate in normal life (eg, have a job, live on your own) really annoy me.

Edit: but I still don't see why the school won't let him wear shorts. I bet they let Muslim girls cover their legs in PE.

Is there anyone on here assuming that?

duchy

jackieb wrote: »

Is there anyone on here assuming that?

Perhaps from the "teachable" comment earlier ?

GlasweJen

Humphrey10 wrote: »

She is representative of many people with autism. Just not all.

All these assumptions that a diagnosis of any disorder/condition means you are unable to participate in normal life (eg, have a job, live on your own) really annoy me.

Edit: but I still don't see why the school won't let him wear shorts. I bet they let Muslim girls cover their legs in PE.

I'm just replying to the bold bit, at my school everyone wore a netball skirt, the autistic, the Muslim, the uber conservative Jews, the girl with the huge scar from being bitten by a dog etc etc. we all also wore the bottle green knee length school skirts, the knitted tights permitted only in winter term, the horrendous shirts and the blazer that weighed a tonne. No exceptions, no excuses.

My mum never allowed autism to be an excuse for me. I hate answering phones,I hate working with men, I'm not keen on meeting strangers and I'm dreading going back to work because first I need to have a meeting with my (male) manager and then it's back to life answering phones and dealing with the public. I did my degree hoping to get a job at the end where it would be me and my machine (science) but there are no jobs in that just now so I had to get one that's not what I would want but I've been told that's life.

blabberwort

GlasweJen wrote: »

I'm just replying to the bold bit, at my school everyone wore a netball skirt, the autistic, the Muslim, the uber conservative Jews, the girl with the huge scar from being bitten by a dog etc etc. we all also wore the bottle green knee length school skirts, the knitted tights permitted only in winter term, the horrendous shirts and the blazer that weighed a tonne. No exceptions, no excuses.

My mum never allowed autism to be an excuse for me. I hate answering phones,I hate working with men, I'm not keen on meeting strangers and I'm dreading going back to work because first I need to have a meeting with my (male) manager and then it's back to life answering phones and dealing with the public. I did my degree hoping to get a job at the end where it would be me and my machine (science) but there are no jobs in that just now so I had to get one that's not what I would want but I've been told that's life.

The highlighted bit is what has stuck out the most for me in your post. Being told something does not make it true. The phrase thats life can be used for many things, but basically telling and bringing up a child who has autism that they should as good as get on with it (regardless of how something may affect there wellbeing) because "thats life" is completely wrong. There will always be people who can cope with autism better than others, but the likelyhood is because they are on a different part of the spectrum to another person. As you appear to have coped well with having autism I can only assume that you are reasonably high functioning, in which case you should understand that there will be others who are not.

Just to put things into perspective, I saw an interview on tv today. The interview was with a man who has cerebal palsy yet won a medal at the paraolympics. He ran his race with a broken foot. Do we however expect all runners to enter races who have a broken foot regardless of how painful/traumatic it may be? No we dont, and the reason is because not all people would be capable and as a society we accept that. The same should go for all disabilities be they physical or mental. Just because someone says you can/should do something doesnt actually mean it's the best for your overall wellbeing. Every person is an individual and society should be treating us as such.

Bitsy_Beans

GlasweJen wrote: »

I'm just replying to the bold bit, at my school everyone wore a netball skirt, the autistic, the Muslim, the uber conservative Jews, the girl with the huge scar from being bitten by a dog etc etc. we all also wore the bottle green knee length school skirts, the knitted tights permitted only in winter term, the horrendous shirts and the blazer that weighed a tonne. No exceptions, no excuses.

My mum never allowed autism to be an excuse for me. I hate answering phones,I hate working with men, I'm not keen on meeting strangers and I'm dreading going back to work because first I need to have a meeting with my (male) manager and then it's back to life answering phones and dealing with the public. I did my degree hoping to get a job at the end where it would be me and my machine (science) but there are no jobs in that just now so I had to get one that's not what I would want but I've been told that's life.

Can I clarify if you think thats what we parents are doing when we are trying to deal with our childrens sensory issues? Making excuses?
Am pretty sure every single one of us with kids or family on the spectrum have expectations for them. However this is grounded in reality too. No one knows their own children better than their parents and every single person on the spectrum is totally different to the next. Your ability to cope with day to day life is vastly different to someone elses. is it really fair to sit and assume that because you could do it the everyone else can? No one here has given the impression that they don't have any expectations for their children. What they do want however is to provide an environment primed to bring out the best in their child. If school is so stressful how is that conducive to that childs learning. How likely are they to end up spending most of the day having to deal with their sensory or processing issues rather than the important bit of actually learning.

peachyprice

Gingham_R wrote: »

This is a lady who is considering shaving her son's legs.

duchy wrote: »

she's suggested the compromise of tracksuit bottoms rather than not doing PE at all -It's the school who are being inflexible.

Neither of those two things are trying to teach her son how to deal with the situation, they are OP dealing with the situation for him.

Nicki

To be fair to Glaswejen though what she is saying is no different to what adults like Temple Grandin and Donna Williams, who are both very profoundly autistic and had very severe challenges as children, now say as adults. They both have gone much further in their lives than anyone could have anticipated when they were children, and they both attribute this to the fact that as children they were helped to confront the things which caused them difficulties.

I know with my DD, when she was much younger she could not cope with flourescent lighting, so taking her shopping was a total nightmare. We worked on this with her because we couldn't see how she could cope as an adult without being able to go into a big shop, as smaller corner shops go by the wayside, and now one of her favourite things to do is to a trip to Sainsburys or Tescos, where she pushes the trolley and helps choose the food. Similarly, she used to hate showers (but loves swimming) and the local pool had a shower you had to go through to get to the poolside. Again with work and patience, she was able to overcome this sensory issue, and she will now quite happily shower and wash her hair whether or not she is going swimming.

I am not saying the school is dealing with this issue in the right way, as they clearly are causing this child too much anxiety, but, without knowing more, nor am I saying that the child should never be expected to wear the shorts. It may well be that with patience and preparation that he can be helped to wear them whilst keeping his anxiety under control, and that would not be a bad thing IMHO. I know that some of the older kids who have now left my DD's special school only function in society by looking quite odd when out in public (heavy hoodies, sunglasses and earphones at all times). They aren't doing any harm, but they are drawing attention to themselves and making themselves even more of a target for those who would do them harm in society, and maybe it would have been better for them long term if someone could have worked with them to find ways of meeting their sensory needs in a more conformist way?