Help please, am i being miserable?

pukkamum

Mojisola wrote: »

I wondered if this was the sister's plan all along. Knowing pukkamum's financial position, she would have known it was unlikely they would accept the invite, leaving sister to suggest babysitting instead. Then I thought maybe I was being too cynical.

As for the sister saying that if pukkamum does the babysitting, her Mum can go to all the events. The only thing stopping Mum going to the party is sister's expectation that she will babysit! Pukkamum, don't accept that guilt-trip!

Thios is my point my mum was going all along so what was she going to do if we had accepted?
DH thinks i am being too cynical in thinking it was the plan all along but i am not so sure.
And what is not wanting your son at the family celebration on the sunday!

pukkamum

Errata wrote: »

Sorry, it wouldn't be fair to the little chap. Last time he came "he hates the screaming it really upsets him", and I don't want him to be so upset I have to give you a ring to come an collect him immediately"

DH likes this suggestion but he suggests saying yes then phoning at approx 11pm;)

olibrofiz

Just read the thread - :eek::eek: - celebrations OTT or what!!! Glad you said no pukkamum, even if cost wasn't the issue why pay out to go to something you know you won't enjoy.

I'd say no to the babysitting too, and make up some 'oh we've got friends staying that weekend, sorry, won't be room. Hope all goes well, i'm sure little xxxx will enjoy his dad's BD celebrations'

The only thing with ringing at 11pm and saying 'come now' is that they will likely say 'sorry, been drinking, can't possibly'

cutestkids

Personally I would tell her to sod off but then I would have done that when she embarressed me in a restuarant by saying what she did to you.

She sounds like a spoilt selfish person and I would have nothing to do with her sister or not.

victory

No, no and thrice no, your sis would have not known you would not be coming and surely would have organized a babysitter? No, let the babysitter next door do it, tell her no sorry, you have other arrangements with your family, or you have friends coming over, or are going out for the day, or no he gets too upset without his mum, anything but no

*Louise*

pukkamum wrote: »

Having him would mean him being here from saturday morning til sunday tea time when my mum will have him so sister and BIL can have a night away (yet more celebrations) and him missing the whole 'family thing' at the pub.

My first inclination is a big resounding NO but yet again i am asking if i am being peevish and miserable (DH and i can sometimes have clouded vision when it comes to sis and BIL).

Full and frank replies welcome i have thick skin.

You must be INSANE to even feel guilty/peevish/miserable/whaterver!!!:p


I don't think she has purposely planned it - but I think when you told her you couldn't go, light bulbs started glowing above her head and she quickly realised she could have a child-free birthday celebration.


Fair enough if your nephew was a complete angel and easy to look after...but he obviously isn't!! Plus you have two under-5's of your own to look after already.

She must have had a plan in the first place when she organised all of this - let her get on with it.

*Louise*

Btw - did you text/email her?

I don't think it's too late to come up with some other 'arrangement' for the Saturday (visiting OH's family perhaps) which would mean you couldn't possible babysit...what a shame....

pukkamum

well i text her that i couldn't do it as would just be a mare with the two lo's, and i also asked the question what she intended to do if we had accepted, and also said surely she wanted her son at the family do on Sunday.

She replied that she had organised a babysitter but it would have been nice to stay out late (i was under the impression it was a party at home after the meal?) and also that she would have picked her son up on the Sunday so he could attend YEAH RIGHT it is a 3 hr round trip and the sunday lunch starts at 12 and he was coming back here with my mum anyway after the lunch so they could have a night away.
In fact that she clearly wasn't bothered in the slightest about us attending saw us as free babysitters and i now feel very guilt free!

*Louise*

Yay - a happy ending! :j


And now she has had a very important life lesson as well.....when you have kids, you have to put them first and miss out on things yourself sometimes.


Glad everything is all still amicable

paddy's_mum

I'm sorry to say it but your sister is a user and a manipulator and the last time I checked, neither characteristic was considered a virtue!