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Help please, am i being miserable?
Comments
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Sooo i let my sister know that we couldn't attend the party. Bit of background she is paying for my mum and her partner to stay at a B&B so they can attend the whole weekend shenannigans.
Had a message to say if we could just come for Sunday that would be good but if not no worries, i was very surprised as normally she would be kicking off and pulling her face.
Well just had another message saying as we weren't coming could we have her son for the weekend so mum could attend.
Now as far as i know from speaking to mum earlier in the week, mum was always going to be going as B&B had been booked and paid for so she must have already made arrangements for his care (they have a babysitter living next door).
The other point is that whilst i love my nephew to bits at 3 yrs old he is very very hard work, he is agressive and violent to my 2 daughters (1 and 4) the last time he stayed over at xmas he constantly woke the baby up by going in her room when he was put in bed despite being told not to, and i must add the baby herself is very hard work she isn't sleeping well and suffering major attatchment issues to me (screaming if i so much as leave the room) and he hates the screaming it really upsets him to the point that he lashes out.
My sister knows all this and also finds him very hard work (hence not wanting him at the celebrations) and she is also very tight so will be thinking about saving on babysitting fees and not having in bed during the party at home.
Having him would mean him being here from saturday morning til sunday tea time when my mum will have him so sister and BIL can have a night away (yet more celebrations) and him missing the whole 'family thing' at the pub.
My first inclination is a big resounding NO but yet again i am asking if i am being peevish and miserable (DH and i can sometimes have clouded vision when it comes to sis and BIL).
Full and frank replies welcome i have thick skin.:pI don't get nearly enough credit for not being a violent psychopath.0 -
'No, sorry - I thought mum was coming anyway.'
You really need to prepare your responses and think through what might be coming before you do things!If you haven't got it - please don't flaunt it. TIA.0 -
Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »'No, sorry - I thought mum was coming anyway.'
You really need to prepare your responses and think through what might be coming before you do things!I don't get nearly enough credit for not being a violent psychopath.0 -
Like people said when advising about refusing the invite - don't give any reasons that she can try to get round. Just say "Sorry, can't do it".0
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Sorry, it wouldn't be fair to the little chap. Last time he came "he hates the screaming it really upsets him", and I don't want him to be so upset I have to give you a ring to come an collect him immediately".................
....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)
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Re pukkamum and your sister being surprisingly ok about you not attending....do you think it's because she deep down needs a babysitter? Call me sceptical but I'd say no. Maybe because my sis in law is very similar and expects too much too.:happyloveBaby girl born 27/2/12:happylove
:AR.I.P Michael Joseph Jackson. Gone too soon:A0 -
How about, "No, 'fraid not. We've arranged to do X, Y, Z with friends and there's no room in the car to take him etc".....MFW 2019#24 £9474.89/£11000 MFW 2018#24 £23025.41/£15000
MFi3 v5 #53 £12531/
MFi3 v4 #53 £59442/£393870 -
Re pukkamum and your sister being surprisingly ok about you not attending....do you think it's because she deep down needs a babysitter?
I wondered if this was the sister's plan all along. Knowing pukkamum's financial position, she would have known it was unlikely they would accept the invite, leaving sister to suggest babysitting instead. Then I thought maybe I was being too cynical.
As for the sister saying that if pukkamum does the babysitting, her Mum can go to all the events. The only thing stopping Mum going to the party is sister's expectation that she will babysit! Pukkamum, don't accept that guilt-trip!0 -
Say to her that you are happy to have him and have included your list of fees.
Honestly, tell her to f off. She's probably been planning it all.along.0
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