Son's father sent to prison,what do I tell him?

Acc72

LittleMissAspie wrote: »

And that's even sillier, no-one is pretending to their kids that Harry Potter is a real person.

Sorry, I don't understand your comment ? ..........

If you read my post, you will see that in response to those who posted on this thread that they told their very young children that Father Christmas does not exist, I asked whether they extend this to other "fictional characters".

Karlie

toocleverbyhalf wrote: »

I am separated from my husband, the father of my son who's 5. Yesterday he was sent to prison for 4 months for drinking & driving and I just don't know how to tell my son who is very close to his father. He will be devastated as he won't be able to see him as he does now, obviously.
I just don't know how to handle this. I have no experience of the police, courts or prison service so I don't know what happens. Should I tell him the truth (gently of course) or make up a story? I'm at my wits end & any advice would be gratefully received.

I think you have answered your own question by saying your Son would be devastated, I wouldn't say anything, unless it became clear that something had been said to him - which I would think would be unlikely given his age ( different if he was older ).
I would research the best way to talk about it, so if it came to it you were prepared.
I would imagine your husband won't be in for the whole 4 months so I would say he was working away or something down that line.

Chin up:)

pinkclouds

Acc72 wrote: »

If you read my post, you will see that in response to those who posted on this thread that they told their very young children that Father Christmas does not exist, I asked whether they extend this to other "fictional characters".

Sorry for going further off-topic but, to answer the post above, I have not *specifically* told my kids that Father Christmas does not exist. I am well aware that the schools and their classmates will talk about this and I have no desire to cause problems with/for anyone. When they talk to *me* about Father Christmas or Santa Claus, I happily relate stories about Saint Nicholas. What I *have* specifically told them is that everyone who loves them bought them lots of lovely Christmas gifts. I absolutely do not agree with telling kids that they only get Christmas gifts if they are "good" and that rich kids are somehow more "good" than they are. A child's worth is not measured by the quantity or value of the gifts that they receive. If all I could afford to give was a hug and a few chocolate coins then my kids would not be "bad" and I do not ever want them to think such things.

As for other "fictional characters", I infer from this that you are referring to the nativity. Again, both schools incorporate this during the winter term and I am happy for them to do so. If you don't believe in God, it's still a lovely story and, if you do, then you don't think of it as a complete fiction. At a young age, all that kids take from the nativity is a charitable story of a poor couple who were given shelter at Christmas time, had a baby and lots of visitors came to give the baby some gifts.

All I am saying is that you should use child-friendly explanations and omit whatever details you don't wish to disclose. I do not see the value of lying, particularly in situations where it is inevitable that the truth will, sooner or later, be revealed. FWIW, rather than getting into a complex discussion on religion and how Jesus could be the son of God while his mom was engaged and then married to another bloke, I have simply confirmed to my kids that Joseph was his dad. So, I have told the truth (Joseph raised him as his son) but omitted the rest.

scheming_gypsy

pinkclouds wrote: »

As for other "fictional characters", I infer from this that you are referring to the nativity. .

In post 69 they mentioned the Tooth Fairy, so I took it to mean 'fictional characters' along those lines. Tooth Fairy, Mother New Year, Easter Bunny etc etc...
could be wrong though

Acc72

pinkclouds wrote: »

As for other "fictional characters", I infer from this that you are referring to the nativity.

I have no idea how you can infer that from my comment ?

As Scheming Gypsy correctly said, I referred to the Tooth Fairy, Cartoons, Harry Potter and "other fictional characters".

I am not particularly religious either way, but I do feel that Father Christmas et al are part of the magic of being a child.

The way some peoples minds work confuses me sometimes .....

peachyprice

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

Mother New Year,

Who?...............

mucklebones

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

In post 69 they mentioned the Tooth Fairy, so I took it to mean 'fictional characters' along those lines. Tooth Fairy, Mother New Year, Easter Bunny etc etc...
could be wrong though

Who is this, please dont tell me I have missed out on 30 years of potential fictional related presents!

toshkininny

I've just googled it, looks like this exists although I have never heard of it before!

scheming_gypsy

peachyprice wrote: »

Who?...............

mucklebones wrote: »

Who is this, please dont tell me I have missed out on 30 years of potential fictional related presents!

The woman who hides a shoe filled with presents at New Year. Probably Father Time's wife, although seeing as my Mum and Dad divorced when I was two she could just have been made up by my mum.

gardner1

Why the hell would you want to tell a young child that his dad is in prison
the poor lad will get taunted/bullied at school and it will do far more damage to him in the short term
tell him his dads away working