Son's father sent to prison,what do I tell him?

zoelouise88

I would say he's working away, knowing his dad is locked up will no doubt be upsetting for him. At 5 years old he really is too young to know the truth.

Spirit_2

http://www.offendersfamilieshelpline.org/index.php/andrew/

The link above covers issues about telling children

skintchick

Why wouldn;t a 5yo be able to understand? My DD is 2 and she would be able to grasp the basics of Daddy did something naughty and has to go somewhere called prison so he can say he is sorry and he will be back soon.

It is 'only' drink driving, not rape or murder, so there's no awkward stuff regarding the crime to explain.

Children understand far more than people generally give them credit for. I am a big one for truth all the way (and no SchemingGypsy, I don't do Father Christmas. DD knows that is just a story, and she understood).

rubytuesday

I would also suggest that you inform the school so that they can be sensitive to any behavioural changes or difficulties arising around adaptation.

sunshinetours

I'm still reeling from all those who think children should be able to handle all truths including Father Christmas pretty much from birth it seems !! No wonder children don't stay children very long these days (some don't anyway)

IMO, all young children should be worried about is whether they will be getting weetabix or shreddies, anything else doesn't matter when you are 3/4/5 etc. Goodness knows they will have a lifetime of other crap to deal with when they are older, so why add to it when they are young?

I do respect others rights to an opinion but I am still amazed

scheming_gypsy

skintchick wrote: »

(and no SchemingGypsy, I don't do Father Christmas. DD knows that is just a story, and she understood).

Fair enough, she may understand but she's only 2. What about all the magic she'll miss out on when she's a couple of years older and all her friends are excited because Santa is coming?

Gazing_On_Sunsets

"When you go to Big School, if you are very naughty, you might get put in detention. This is when you have to stay after school for up to an hour. Well, daddy is a grown up but he has been naughty so he has a grown up's detention. He knows he's been silly and he's very sorry but you'll see him again soon, shall we draw him a nice card?"

Also, family visits in prison can be pretty good, as far as it goes. I did story-telling at one in the midlands. There, the family visits had a lot of imput from the Mother's Union so they had face painting and craft and stuff. The visits were all in a large room with minimal, unobtrustive officer presence, soft chairs around low tables and toys for the kiddies. However the prisoner needs to be approved for a family visit and the procedures differ from place to place; on a short sentence he may not qualify. I'm writing this in case it helps someone else reading the thread I suppose...!

Acc72

In know that it is O/T, but I really feel sorry for the children who are told by their parents that Father Christmas doesn't exist at such a young age.

What about the tooth fairy ?

Do you let your children watch cartoons - as they are not "real life"

What about story books ?

Harry Potter is not real - do you sit your children down and explain this, or do you let them enjoy the books / films and let them develop an imagination.

The whole thing just makes me sad

Ps - of those who made the comments, none referred to any religious reasons etc.

LittleMissAspie

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

Fair enough, she may understand but she's only 2. What about all the magic she'll miss out on when she's a couple of years older and all her friends are excited because Santa is coming?

Don't be silly. I never believed in Father Christmas but I still got excited at Christmas time and the thought of my presents.

Acc72 wrote: »

Do you let your children watch cartoons - as they are not "real life"
What about story books ?
Harry Potter is not real - do you sit your children down and explain this, or do you let them enjoy the books / films and let them develop an imagination.

And that's even sillier, no-one is pretending to their kids that Harry Potter is a real person.

scheming_gypsy

LittleMissAspie wrote: »

Don't be silly. I never believed in Father Christmas but I still got excited at Christmas time and the thought of my presents.
.

which isn't what I said. I didn't say anything about getting excited because they're getting presents, I said that Santa was coming..... but as you never believed in him you don't know what I'm talking about