Really need some help [Merged]

DVardysShadow

MissMitch wrote: »

Seriously, someone in an obviously desparate state asks for help, can't you just ignore the thread if you have no sympathy with op rather than chastise her because she hasn't behaved in a way YOU approve of?

If I am chastising anyone, it is those with the sympathetic carp who are not challenging the OP.

Bear in mind that this started last night on the housing board as a typical query about keeping a mortgage going after the partner walked out acrimoniously. No hint of suicide. Something about this is wrong wrong wrong.

MissMitch

DVardysShadow wrote: »

If I am chastising anyone, it is those with the sympathetic carp who are not challenging the OP.

Bear in mind that this started last night on the housing board as a typical query about keeping a mortgage going after the partner walked out acrimoniously. No hint of suicide. Something about this is wrong wrong wrong.

Maybe, maybe not,...I can only speak for myself but would feel utter carp myself for giving any poster who appeared to be fairly desparate a hard time...I don't feel the need to challenge op, as with any post I read it if it interests me, I umm and ahh, I add my 'voice' if I have any potentially useful opinion or experience to impart...Otherwise really, what is the point? People in abusive relationship don't always behave as well as they could, but random strangers telling you they don't care about your situation, well frankly I don't see what good that is supposed to do for anyone.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

MissMitch wrote: »

Maybe, maybe not,...I can only speak for myself but would feel utter carp myself for giving any poster who appeared to be fairly desparate a hard time...I don't feel the need to challenge op, as with any post I read it if it interests me, I umm and ahh, I add my 'voice' if I have any potentially useful opinion or experience to impart...Otherwise really, what is the point? People in abusive relationship don't always behave as well as they could, but random strangers telling you they don't care about your situation, well frankly I don't see what good that is supposed to do for anyone.

I would feel more crap if she repeated the stupid stunt because she hadn't been pulled up on it and killed innocent people, personally.

Why endanger other people, who have partners, who have parents, who have children - who are children - by necking the bourbon and then getting in a ton and a half of steel, to carefully park up (What? By a big cliff like Beachy Head? Where people tend to chuck themselves off and where there are patrols every single night, so she wouldn't have had a chance to pass out in charge of a vehicle?) and then drive - still over the limit - on at least two further occasions.

Same as the ex she mentions in the post. Attention. A way to control others.


Well, committing a criminal offence on more than one occasion - fully aware of it - and potentially killing innocent men, women and children gets attention alright. Just not the hand holding desired.

heledw

thank you, rightly or wrongly i just cried my self to sleep last night as just struggling especially at night time, but I aim is to ring Shelter today as I need to do something...
I know people say it gets easier, but sometimes writing it on here brings it all back up and the rawness comes flooding back, but when i try to think over the bad thoughts, I know what people are saying is true- but Im not sure im ready even thou im so desperate
A lady offered me money food on here yesterday and that made me cry- i havent got an appetite and havent eaten in over a week, but I do drink water and tea
but it was really lovely of her

Having OH back not an option, the continued nasty mind games are what are dragging me back down, House phone in his name, so they wont change the number for me and even if they did he could log into his account and find it. Police advised I ring Bt and try to take over the account as I pay the bill for it.

Don't get me wrong if I seen him now, and he tried to put his arms around me, I would probably let him, but I think thats cos I am so lonely. As for him being in my life- not an option

MissMitch

The thing is, in RL a friend asked me yet again for advice regarding his relationship that he is consistently unhappy in, & his OH has made dramatic suicide threats when he's tried to end it. In that situation, I don't mind giving advice, because firstly, I know her and am fairly certain it is just dramatic attention seeking, I know my friend will handle it as best he can & will call the authorities if she did try anything that he knew about. IF she did carry out her threat I would be absolutely mortified regarding the advice I'd given, but I'd have to deal with. With a stranger online who appears very distraught, I wouldn't take the risk of deciding I knew exactly whether they are just attention seeking or not.

My ex gave me a master class in controlling relationships & I absolutely abhor emotional abuse because of it, but OP has been through an awful lot from the sounds of things, the only advice anyone should be giving is for her to seek help, & fast.

dirtysexymonkey

Padstow wrote: »

When do the Uni studying law go back then? I am so tired of them picking our brains. Not only here, but on other forums too.

im not surprised youre tired of it. there cant be much left, especially as there wasnt much to begin with.

dirtysexymonkey

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I'm sorry. As soon as you mentioned knocking back a bottle of JD and then going driving, then driving back to court and home again whilst still under the influence, I just stopped caring anymore.

snap.

i dont care whats happened to you, drink driving is an offence that should have the op locked up for a very long time.

heledw

I have read the remarks today on here, and all I can say is that I believe I hit rock bottom the other night, Im not a drinker as my mum was an alcoholic and would never intentionally hurt anyone, and I WOULD NEVER DRINK AND DRIVE....
I took the JD as I hoped to drive somewhere quiet and block out the pain, and hopefully not wake up, I slept in my car until I come too, I must have drunk a 3rd of the bottle if that... of a small bottle...no sleep for days
My OH has done numerous things mentally and emotionally to destroy me over the past few weeks, attempting to hang himself etc and admitted to a nurse it was for effect, He asked to be bailed here as he did not want to lose the stability he has here, and the photo was posted on facebook after I was told about the affairs and after the police took him as I was hurt etc
I can assure you That im not a bad person, im someone who is hurting like hell, but is trying to get her head around the person who she wrapped her whole world around, but he repayed her with sleeping with these 2 women that I know of, whilst trying to deal with this, Im also having to try to cope with how I sort housing out, whilst one of his friends reminds me that sexually im no good, even after years of practice.
I cannot believe again im being victimised on her, it just goes to prove that I must be a bad person as people who read comments on here actually believe I would harm others, I never harmed anyone in my life.
I have lived with abuse all my life and went on here to try to deal with some issues, and I thought slowly I would get there, but it seems as if people on here believe that Im trying to hurt others etc
I loved my husband and wanted my marriage as we had a lovely life, I am grieving for all that I have lost, plus the fact that his new women were told about the sexual abuse and they targeted this knowledge at me and God knows who else, hence why I am hiding in my home....
I really never asked to be destroyed on here- but it proves once again, that my husband was right- Im not a good person
I have never had self esteem and confidence and after reading peoples comments on here about me, its that much lower again

heledw

Please tell me what I did for you to dislike me, I didnt drink and drive, I went to a spot where I thought that I could walk away from it all without anyone finding me

As for facebook pic I put on, it was after he had told me he was sleeping with two women, I went to bed, he then an hour or so later got into bed with me and tied to touch me where I got up, when I come downstairs, he threw a glass of wine over me and I started telling him to leave, with which he threw a bottle of wine over me and pulled me by my hair to the floor, with this I tried to call the police and he grabbed the phone out of my hand, I ran to my front door and cried out for help to my neighbour as I was petrified, but he started forcing the door shut between me and him to stop my shouting, so my back and face were bruised.....
When he needed bailing he asked could he return here and I said no, his own parents said no, so I hacked his facebook account the next day as I was sent a photo of him kissing one of these women with the comment "she better in the sack than you", so I uploaded a picture of him wearing red underwear after reading graphic messages sent to each of these parties
So I apologise that after this and being reminded that I was sexually abused as a child that you or others dont warm to me, but I desperately dont want to wake up any more and I was looking for ways to try and get help as I was struggling with my emotions, you just seem to have reinforced my husbands remarks, that I must be a bad person as you believe I would drive and hurt someone- I want out of my life on my own- not to harm someones else family

Your so so wrong- Thank you for making me realise, that its not good to tell people you hurt, cos some people, will help you hurt more.....

heledw

Please tell me what I did for you to dislike me, I didnt drink and drive, I went to a spot where I thought that I could walk away from it all without anyone finding me

As for facebook pic I put on, it was after he had told me he was sleeping with two women, I went to bed, he then an hour or so later got into bed with me and tied to touch me where I got up, when I come downstairs, he threw a glass of wine over me and I started telling him to leave, with which he threw a bottle of wine over me and pulled me by my hair to the floor, with this I tried to call the police and he grabbed the phone out of my hand, I ran to my front door and cried out for help to my neighbour as I was petrified, but he started forcing the door shut between me and him to stop my shouting, so my back and face were bruised.....
When he needed bailing he asked could he return here and I said no, his own parents said no, so I hacked his facebook account the next day as I was sent a photo of him kissing one of these women with the comment "she better in the sack than you", so I uploaded a picture of him wearing red underwear after reading graphic messages sent to each of these parties
So I apologise that after this and being reminded that I was sexually abused as a child that you or others dont warm to me, but I desperately dont want to wake up any more and I was looking for ways to try and get help as I was struggling with my emotions, you just seem to have reinforced my husbands remarks, that I must be a bad person as you believe I would drive and hurt someone- I want out of my life on my own- not to harm someones else family

Your so so wrong- Thank you for making me realise, that its not good to tell people you hurt, cos some people, will help you hurt more.....