Really need some help [Merged]

brokenlily

Well I have to admit I'm sad to see some of the judgemental comments on here. I doubt that any of you who have sat in judgement on this person have never made a mistake that you have lived to regret later, or thought "I was really lucky that things didn't turn out worse". Let those who are without sin cast the first stone and all.

I won't condone drinking and being anywhere near the wheel of a car, but I won't condemn either - I would only say to the OP that this should be a sign you need to seek help - but I think the OP knows that.

Everybody reacts differently to a crisis in their lives. Emotions can be a rollercoaster, and you may feel one day very different to the next. I would only say, give it time, and it does heal.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Dl1/Directories/UsefulContactsByCategory/Governmentcitizensandrightscontacts/DG_195356
Try this link for finding out if you are entitled to any Legal Aid. There is a phone number to call.

neneromanova

The only Reason people are judgemental on here is because Time and time again they have given "poor people" their help and views, only to find out that it's been a troll. So they have given their time and effort to help only to have it all shoved back in their face. Some bored kid at home thinking it's funny. This is what it smacks of to me.

Hovel_lady

Good advice from suki, B&T and MandM.

Have tried to send you a PM but your inbox is full.
xx

BitterAndTwisted

heledw wrote: »

I dont want the house, I want to sell it and even if I have to private rent or beg the council for help, staying not an option I earn £18,000 a year we paid £114,000 for it,

What's important here is how much of a deposit you put down on it. Remember, if you do sell you will have estate-agent's commission and conveyancing to pay for out of the proceeds.

If I went interest only, roughly what would the payments be as at preset they are £600 per month and I bring home £1100 per month
so basically he can ruin me financially and there is little I can do about it

Angel, you CAN live on £500 a month if you're not running a car. Maybe you could even if you do with some careful planning and budgeting. Perhaps when you're in the right frame of mind pop over to the Old-Style part of the forum. Fantastic advice can be had over there about how to run a home on a shoe-string. There are people on there who have to manage on less, and they do.

Of course, if you got yourself a nice lodger possibly half of that £600 a month could be covered.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOSE YOUR HOME. At least not right away if you don't want to. Please don't think about making such a life-changing decision while you're in your current state of mind.

DVardysShadow

neneromanova wrote: »

The only Reason people are judgemental on here is because

It is not the only reason. I include my own comments under the 'judgemental' category. The main issue here for me is that taking the OP seriously, it seems that the sympathy is counterproductive and leading to a negative escalation of the drama,

greenval

What is it with Face book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Don't go there, particularly in your present state. Don't post on it or whatever it is you do. Don't read it. Just don't!

BitterAndTwisted

I rarely care whether people are trolls or not. Until it's patently obvious. That's not the main reason for responding for me. Lots of folk read threads, especially lurkers, and some could be discouraged from posting about something important to them if they see others getting a pasting for what seems no or little reason.

We're all anonymous here but that's not a good enough excuse for being heartless and cruel to someone we know nothing about. *gets off soap-box*

heledw

I can assure you all, yes I may have acted irrationally the other day, But I admit i wanted out of my life, I was hurt and angry at the world as I felt that life would be better without me.

I had only just bought my first home, then when his cheating was disclosed etc, I realised that I was going to lose my home as I dont earn enough to remortgage this, so not only had he destroyed the marriage that I thought was good, he has also taken away my dream.... I had always wanted to be a home owner and I really need help in salvaging something from this
Have appt with shelter for wednesday and I rang CAB today and apparently they arrange a call back within 48 hours...
Can I put the house on market without husband agreeing???
Tried to see if it can be rented through agency but it cant without his agreement
what do I do next? or do I just wait until I see Shelter on Wednesday???

heledw

What's important here is how much of a deposit you put down on it. Remember, if you do sell you will have estate-agent's commission and conveyancing to pay for out of the proceeds.[/COLOR][/COLOR][/COLOR]

I paid 15.1% deposit, roughly £17,000....

Problem is I am running a car and have a car loan outstanding with approx 15 months left, the payments are £400 per month and with same bank I had mortgage from....
Have thought have selling the car, but car essential for work, option to sell and get cheaper car...
Have put advert on Spare room co.uk and rang letting agency, but unless he agrees for it to be rented, can't take that option either.
Trying to save money, have cancelled the direct debit with Sky, have sent email to sky advising that I would like it disconnected, but not sure they will act as in husbands name, If they don't what can I do...
Have rang 02 and asked them to lower my tariff, but they wont, any advice as I tried to explain the financial situation I am in, but they were not interested...
I dont belong to any clubs etc, so apart from losing broadband, cant cut other bills

Hump

If when you've done the sums with Shelter you find you might not be able to afford a regular sale then have a quick look at https://www.nhas.org.uk/avs_public.pdf - it's a relatively new approach which your lender might consider (assuming your ex- is as keen as you to get rid of the property)