MSE Newborn to 1 year Baby Club 1

turtlemoose

Is it always the front teeth that come first? Reuben is trying to ram everything so far back in his mouth that he keeps gagging and being sick. I've had a feel and I can feel a very small but really sharp bit on one side at the back....but can't get him to open his mouth wide enough or for long enough to have a look. Could this be a tooth??

*Nutella*

Thanks everyone for your replies re. vitamins and fingerfoods (special thanks to Gilly!).

Katie, Red Cross has a video on first aid for choking. I haven't had time to watch it yet, but it was recommended on a weaning website and might be of use: www.redcross.org.uk/What-we-do/First-aid/Children-first-aid/Choking-baby. My HV has never told me about workshops etc. either, and I found out about Bookstart in the Cow & Gate magazine that they sent me last week. All I've been given by the HV (in addition to what appears to be incorrect info about vitamins) is a scruffy-looking photocopied piece of paper listing the babygroups around here - that seems to be all they're promoting. Not impressed!

Elelyn

Thank you all so much for thinking of me and Theo today. It brings a tear to my eye (there have been A LOT of tears in this house lately) that people who don't even know me are so kind.

The hospital appointment went well. They don't think there is any problem with his vision. The little scamp was looking at the nurse, following her with his eyes and smiling at her. He won't do that for me!It really upsets me that he doesn't seem happy when he is with me but at least I know that his eyes are okay. They think he may just be a "late seer"

Gillyx wrote: »

I don't know about the eyes and ears Eleyn but I will keep my fingers crossed all is well.

The letting him cry thing, I seriously can't believe health professionals are recommending a baby as young as 9 weeks should be left to cry :eek: that boggles belief. If it does get too much for you though, pop him in his basket, go and have a cuppa, he won't go anywhere and sometimes we all need a break, you'l be straight back to him afterwards. A is 9 months old and I still need to do this at times! Sometimes I just pop him in and go out the room, take some deep breathes and go back in. R.e the over the shoulder thing, how is he feeding? My LO had reflux and wouldn't settle on his back at all, if we held him up at our shoulder he'd snuggle right in and go to sleep, it was the only place he got relief. How is he in himself, do you ever hear gurgling or gulpy noises either during feeding or afterwards? Does he have band wind etc?

Hope you're ok lovely, it is so hard at the start, I remember it all too well. We're all here for a moan and support xx

I don't think he has reflux although it has crossed my mind. He does gulp at his bottle and we have had major wind problems. Feeding is another issue as I have been worried about the fact he doesn't wake during the night to feed. He makes a lot of noise and thrashes about but doesn't actually wake up. I have been waking him because I am concerned about him going too long without food but the health visitor has told me not to do this as I will encourage bad habits. She didn't seem to believe me when I said he can go ten hours without eating and still not wake for a feed. I wouldn't be so concerned if I thought he'd had enough during the day but he doesn't always have that much. He's been putting on weight as he should but he's a skinny little thing.

turtlemoose wrote: »

Elelyn I will be thinking of you - please keep us updated with how he gets on tomorrow.

Re the over the shoulder thing....no reflux here but to this day I do not get cuddles (apart from when I steal them when he's asleep!) ....he wants to be upright, and the higher the better. I think he's just nosy!

As for crying - I am horrified that she said this. Studies have shown that babies of that age who are left to cry can have an elevated cortisol (stress hormone) level up to two weeks later :eek: babies need food, sleep and love - he is too little to be able to manipulate you....he just wants his mummy xx

I think Theo is the same as Reuben. Wants to be nice and high up. The trouble is, I can't hold him like that all day long. I will NOT be taking the advice to let him cry however, I can assure you. I did that once, the day after we came home from hospital when I was not quite myself and not coping. I didn't realise at the time the damage this can do and I have felt guilty ever since. I do wonder if that's why I'm having problems now. Maybe he hasn't bonded with me because I let him cry that one time?

He's been very fractious again today, although I have just managed to get him off for a nap so I can have a break and come on here. Thank goodness, he's gone off as I don't think I can cope with the constant crying. It's so strange as up until this week he didn't really cry much at all (in fact I worried about how little he cried!!!) and he seemed to sleep all the time (which I also worried about). It's just all so confusing.

So far today he's had three feeds of 5ozs, each one two hours apart. The health visitor will tell me that's too little a gap in between but I wanted to be sure he wasn't crying because he was hungy and he did finish all three bottles, although he was a little sick when I burped him after the last one. I just want to make sure I'm not under feeding him.

This is all soooo hard and not at all what I expected. I couldn't love Theo more but I do sometimes worry that I can't do this. I'm just "getting through" every day at the moment and waiting for it to get easier. Please, let it get easier soon.

Sorry for the massive long post but thank you all again for reading and for thinking of us. It means a lot xxx

Elelyn

Blimey, that was a long post. Sorry about that!

katiechoc_2

Oh elelyn, I really feel for you, it is so much harder than anyone could ever describe, you have to live it to understand! Good news on his eyes at least, one thing off your worry list! Don't blame yourself for leaving him crying that once, he won't even remember it now. And as for that making him upset now I'm sure that's not the case at all - yes it's probably not best done repeatedly and I'm shocked the hv told you to do it but my mum said she left me howling when I was tiny and I've turned out ok (IMO anyway ). Not sure what to suggest with the smiling at the nurse thing other than babies are tricksy creatures, I'm sure in a couple of weeks he'll be all smiles for you all the time. There's been days when I've spent literally ALL day trying to get a grin out of G and just got tears but as soon as OH walks in he's all smiles. Little traitor, after I've been doing all the hard work all day!!!!!!!

Anyway, that's quite a lot of rambling but you get the gist hopefully. Not wanting to brandish the PND card around but if you feel like its just too much speak to your gp. It took me weeks to get the courage to admit I wasn't coping but when I did it was like a huge weight was lifted off me. Also, is there another hv you can see that would be a bit more use than this "leave him to cry" woman?

It WILL get better, but in the meantime you've got us whenever you need to talk/rant about stuff

turtlemoose

Elelyn I'm soooo relieved the hospital appointment was positive for you!!!!! :j:j:j

No I can't hold Reuben upright all day long either...but a reasonably upright bouncy chair with a fluffy insert to hold his head until he was capable (things that you get for teeny newborns to go in car seats so they don't rattle around!) ....worked wonders. He could look around, was upright- ish. He only went in for 20 mins at a time but my arms/shoulders needed those 20 mins

And now I feel guilty about posting the cortisol thing. PLEASE don't think leaving him once will have affected your bond - it takes repeated long sessions to cause any "damage" for want of a better word.

I remember several occasions being upset and talking to my OH about how Reuben didn't like me, even the cat gets smiles and I didn't, he pulled away from me when I picked him up, me picking him up didn't stop him crying etc etc etc. OH just told me I was being silly (typical man!) but over time as Reuben got bigger, I don't know we just clicked and now I get more smiles than daddy (although he says "da" back to you when you say it to him, but no matter how many times I say mummummummummum to him, not a peep!)

katiechoc_2

turtlemoose wrote: »

but no matter how many times I say mummummummummum to him, not a peep!)

George is the same! Apparently da is an easier sound to make than mum. My OH is having none of it though :rotfl:

George has just had his first slice of toast! Think he probably got half of it down and just sucked the rest into oblivion but he enjoyed doing it!

Sammie - I'm a freelance designer. Just got to wait for nap time before I can get any work done!

delain

Chuckles is 10 Months and we've only just got mumumum!

We've also got waving, poking her tongue out, and just recently, pulling herself up on the table :eek: :eek:

Elelyn

Thanks katie. DH has been trying to get me to go to the doctors but I don't think I'm at that point just yet. I'm just going through a bad patch but I think I will get through it. No, I know I will get through it eventually.

Turtle, we have a bouncer that goes quite upright so I'll try him in that later. I was reluctant to use it as I thought it was important for them to lay flat most of the time but he obviously doesn't like laying flat, unless he's sleeping.

Health visitor called just now to see how we got on this morning. She is now blaming me for Theo crying so much, saying that it's because I'm stressed and he's picking up on it. Apparently all I have to do is relax and he will calm down. Hmmm.

Thanks again guys, I'm so grateful for this forum. I've been to a couple of baby groups but when I tried to talk to the mothers there none of them seemed to understand. And it just made me feel worse seeing them and their babies interacting so beautifully with each other when Theo won't do it. I think we might stay away from the groups for a few weeks.

delain

The hv is NOT saying it is your fault. She could be right as i had the same problems with DD1. I had PND and I was stressed and the more I found things stressful the more tetchy she was.

I repeat, it is NOT your fault and that is PND talk. Get down the doctors woman.

** disclaimer: I am not saying this to upset you and it isnt tour fault. I've been there and felt like you feel now. Even talking to the gp will make you feel better, I promise :grouphug: