MSE Newborn to 1 year Baby Club 1

janninew

koalamummy wrote: »

Ro hope everything is ok and you get an appointment for your LO soon

Jenjade hope all is going well with Ellie

Jannine the special care unit your daughter was in are meant to give you info on counselling services specifically tailored for parents of pre term babies as it is now recognised as being a major source of long term stress. If they have not done so please ask your GP to refer you.

I never got any due to my situation. My older son was delivered at 27+1 when I was away for the weekend at my cousins wedding! Despite having the additional stress of having to live in a hotel and having his father in a war zone apparently I didnt qualify as I was from out of area! :rotfl: I could really have done with it though as like you I was experiencing a whole mixture of emotions ranging from anger and self doubt to complete confusion and a whole lot more in between, but mostly an overwhelming feeling that it had somehow been my fault. It took me a very long time to come to terms with this.

In truth it nearly destroyed my marriage as by the time my husband got home our son had gone from initially only being given hours to live, to just hanging on and no more, to having life saving surgery, (at a different hospital yet again...which was a whole other ordeal in itself) to being mostly fully recovered. He could not relate in any way to how I was feeling as to him our boy was fine despite having a bit of a scare at the start. We worked through it and are still married now with 2 more children but it took me 5 years to even entertain the possibility of having more because of the effect it had on me.

Lucy I totally second asda for smaller baby clothes as the hats that come in the starter set are a perfect size for a smaller baby and the scratch mitts are small enough to actually stay on too. Tesco ones are quite good too. Could you maybe swaddle her in extra blankets in her pram if you cant find a pram suit? I did this with my younger son as I couldnt get him a pramsuit to fit.

Thanks for sharing your story koalamummy, it makes me feel a little better knowing I'm not alone feeling like I do. It almost seems that people expect you to be fine, especially now Poppy is home, but underneath there are so many emotions. When she was first born I remember feeling so cross with the Doctors and Nurses, almost like they stole her from me! I knew it was daft and that she had to be born due to complications, but I still felt very angry with them.

I've not been told about any counselling that is available, I will speak to my GP though as I do feel it would be beneficial. I feel guilty that she has been through what she has and do blame myself that I couldn't keep her safe. I try not to think back to the early days, we had the same time as you did, where every hour mattered and she was a very poorly little girl. I'll never forgot on day 6 the Doctor telling me she was very poorly and he was extremely worried about her and that the next 4 hours would be a critical time. My marriage also suffered, I even asked my husband to leave for a few days in December as we were arguing so much. Thankfully we are closer than ever now and he is fantastic with Poppy!

I don't have a pram suit small enough for Poppy, the newborn one that I bought when I was pregnant is huge on her, so I just put a cardigan on her and wrap her loads of blankets and she seems to stay nice and toasty.

Well that's enough from me, got lots of washing to do today!

Have a nice Sunday all!

xxx

*Ro*

Hi Jannine
I hope u do manage to get some counselling and that it helps. Reading what happened sounds so very tough.
Hope u have a good Sunday too
Ro xx

Sittingonastar

Eventually found some time to post!! Little man currently asleep on me chest...so no chance of the washing up getting done :rotfl:
Well after a bad couple of days last weekend we saw the midwife on sunday and she suggested supplementing with a couple of 2oz bottles so we knew he had something. No sooner had he had one bottle (and mammy had a little sleep!) hes been a changed little boy!! We spent monday and tuesday eating eating eating and he put on 3oz between sunday and tuesday!! Defo think theres a bit of a growth spurt going on
Not given him formula since weds think we both just needed a little time to de-stress. My only worry now is that he hasn't had a dirty nappy since last monday (plenty wet mind!!) MW didn't seem too bothered when I told her..just put it down to introducing a bit of formula. How long is too long though?? He seems happy enough...and is farting like a trooper so dont think hes too blocked up

Jannine-Poppy is gorgeous!!
Ro-hope you dont have to wait too long for an appointment for Scott
Mozzy-how are you and Charlie? Can't believe they are 2 weeks+ already!!

glimmerofhope

Hi Mummies

Any suggestions where I can get flat cotton sheets for a moses basket - MSE wise

Jenjade Hope Ellie has had a weekend recovering

Jannine agree with Sitting Poppy is a little doll

Kira000

glimmerofhope wrote: »

Hi Mummies

Any suggestions where I can get flat cotton sheets for a moses basket - MSE wise

Jenjade Hope Ellie has had a weekend recovering

Jannine agree with Sitting Poppy is a little doll

If its to cover the mattress , why not try plain pillowcases, works on our pram mattress. If its to cover LO, still works but is double thickness.
K x

glimmerofhope

Thanks Kira, it will be to cover LO Pillowcases are a good idea

yummymummy79

has anyone done or will soon be moving from naps sleeping on you to basket/cot? Ella has been having practically every nap laying on me (or OH / some visitors) and it's driving me distraction. A couple of days last week I was stuck on the sofa for 5/6 hours so couldn't get anything done, and ended up spending the time after she was in bed when I should have been relaxing or having an early night doing washing/dishwasher etc.

Had a look on Baby Whisperer site for some ideas and she suggests pat/shhh for Ella's age (12 weeks) when settling to sleep or getting back to sleep after an early wake up. She will sometimes have her first nap in her basket but won't go past the 45 min wake up mark.

Just wondered if anyone had successfully made this transition or has a plan for doing so. We're also still having 2 wake ups at night and early starts that we need to work on but plan to tackle one thing at a time (unless one positively affects the other itself).

Gillyx

Il be intrigued to hear any solutions to this myself yummymummy...

Kira000

Yummymummy, dont know if this will help? Because of LO's reflux, we have had problems getting her down in her crib to sleep, as she found it more comfortable to sleep on me - not a tenable situation long term!

We had been waiting till she was totally zonked, then transferring her to the crib whilst asleep. That is all very well, but can be tricky to do without waking her up. Over time we have been moving her across from me to the crib when she is very sleepy but gradually a little earlier each time so she is more awake each time so she gets used to actually falling asleep in the crib. When she goes to sleep on me, i shhhhhh, and rock her, so i carry on shhhhh'ing and rocking when in the crib, to help her fall off.
It has worked reasonably well- at first she was pretty much asleep when we moved her, but now we can put her down with eyes open, and rock her off to sleep. It can take abut 20 mins to get her off in the crib, but we are working on getting that down!

Gillyx

We've tried everything Kira, even when he's completely zonked and he still wakes up. Ive been using a baby carrier during the day to potter about the house and its brilliant, can get loads done, not sure of that'd be an option for you?