MSE Newborn to 1 year Baby Club 1

fluffnutter

Bamama wrote: »

I think a lot of my insecurities have come from how I was brought up and how my step-sisters are raising their children. I'm proud of my parents for the way they raised me. I was a very polite child and rarely got shouted at and was never grounded (well until I was 16 and decided to rebel as my parents divorced when I was 13). I always thought that my children would be brought up the same way. But I wasn't breast fed and my parents are sort of trying to tell me not to pick him up/cuddle him/feed him at every whimper. But that's what it feels like I should be doing.

Even though my parents are fully supportive and admire the way I've exclusively breastfed Freddie (now six months) they still can't get their head around the demand thing. People who bottle-fed (which both my brother and me were), or even people who breast-fed but a generation ago are quite hung up on routine because that was the advice when they were raising their children.

Even now my dad says 'he can't be hungry' when I go to feed Freddie because he thinks he should have settled into a four hourly feed months ago. No matter how many times I say it doesn't work like that with the boob, I know they think I'm being overly indulgent.

Your babe, your way of doing things. When bubs is young like Dewi is, stick the boob in his gob every time he so much as moves

fluffnutter

turtlemoose wrote: »

Twig pig, Reuben is 7 months (and 4 days!). 730-7 is what I'm aiming for too

Fluffnutter I am reading a book called Gentle Sleep Solutions by Angela Grace. Kira recommended it to me, and it is marvellous.

It is broken down in to sections, so for example there is a full introduction, but also a 1 minute, 5 minute or 10 minute version - depending on how much time you have. The author clearly knows what she is doing!

Anyway there's lots in there about understanding how babies sleep etc and there are case studies. The methods used are flexible, and altered to individual circumstances.

There's a case study in there, a baby called Leo (funnily enough, Reuben was nearly a Leo!) who is 7 mo, fed to sleep, goes to bed in the cot but by morning is in mum and dads bed. Spot on to my situation! The process of going to sleep, of disassociating sleep and booby, the whole thing is blooming great. At no point am I leaving him to cry alone, but I am letting him cry without picking him up.

Anyway, I was sort of doing half the method for about a week, then got the book and read it properly, so we are now 2 days in to doing it properly and the difference is amazing. What's even more amazing, is that by extension his napping is getting better. I actually couldn't tell you the last time he napped on my boob....sometime last week? I can highly recommend it.

Also the book is split in to sections - so by age, by type of sleep problem, by type of feeding, by night feeding or not night feeding or wanting to stop night feeding etc. I got it from the library but its prob fairly cheap on the usual websites.

Right then. Downloaded that book to my kindle last night (a thousand thanks for recommending it) and I've decided to tackle Freddie's quite obvious bad sleep habits.

He's great at settling himself in his cot - I've always put him down to sleep at a similar time each night regardless of whether he's awake, sleepy or fell asleep on the boob so we've got a good habit there. Rarely now does he fall asleep whilst feeding during the day so I know he can settle himself quite happily.

What I need to tackle is this regular waking during the night. Because I assumed it was always hunger I've been giving him the boob but reading about it I think it's just the natural 90 minutes cycle of waking and he's not actually hungry. However, he is only just six months and whilst we've just started solids he's not really taking in much at all. I'm not 100% sure that he won't need the odd feed during the night (just the thought of one alone would be so lovely!) so I'm not convinced about cutting night feeds completely. A very helpful (not) site suggested that children don't need night feeds at between six and 12 months. Well, 12 months is double six months so that's not at all helpful!

I think I might do something I think you mentioned - any waking before midnight, no feed. I'll just try to soothe him instead. I'll start with that and see where we go...

DayDreamBeliever_2

Martafdz, the trip has been taken now as we thought it best when she was so little to avoid the issue of her missing him but alas it's not worked out quite as planned lol, I did have his tshirt in her Moses basket but at 6am I wrapped it loosely round her and lay her on the sofa next to me - it took 15 mins but she's still sound asleep now, what a bad mummy hey!

I think the issues are he has ALWAYS settled her, I feed and her cuddles her to sleep after - it was this way so I could sleep as much as possible at the start but he loved the time with her it just carried on, he hadn't been away from her at all since we got home! I think she must just associate the smell with being comfy/secure/sleeping I don't know. also, I'm missing him a lot so she's probably picking up on my vibes too - we'll get there I'm sure I just need a few hours sleep lol, think I'll call nanny to come over today so I can have a few hours later.

katiechoc_2

fluffnutter wrote: »

I think I might do something I think you mentioned - any waking before midnight, no feed. I'll just try to soothe him instead. I'll start with that and see where we go...

I've been trying this, but I've been trying no feed before 1. Backfired last night as I was in such a daze when he woke me that I misread the clock - thought it said 1.16 but it actually only said 11.16 and I'd only been in bed about 40 minutes!

Are you doing blw fluff?

katiechoc_2

Meant to say as well I've found giving him a sip of water from a sippy cup (he goes batty at the sight of a bottle but bottle could work a less stroppy baby) really helps with resettling without a feed. Means picking him up but its worked for us so far.

fluffnutter

I am doing blw, but not hardcore IYSWIM. I'm also doing some spoon-feeding of foods that are naturally soft - hummus, soups etc. I'm not pureeing and all that stuff. Just offering him bits and pieces and helping him with the runnier stuff. It's really, really early days with the weaning - he's only just six months, can't really pick things up all that well and certainly hasn't started to associate solid stuff with food. It's 50/50 whether it goes near his mouth or his ear . But he seems to like the different tastes and has even started getting a bit excited when I put his bib on.

The sip of water is a good idea - he's started to be really interested in cups and drinking and is enjoying my giving him water from a normal cup. I've also bought him a sippy cup but he just bashed himself over the head repeatedly with it. Idiot boy

fluffnutter

katiechoc wrote: »

I'd like to get him off the night feeds but I'm worried he is actually hungry at least once a night as his eating is still hit and miss with the blw.

That's precisely my worry

fluffnutter

Here's a recent hummus episode...

turtlemoose

Lovely pic fluff!

Right, ref cutting down night feeds, fluff, a month ago, Reuben still needed a feed - but if i had the strength and patience, in hindsight i think i should have restricted it to around every 4hrs plus, and not feed if the 4hrs wasn't up. He went longer than that in the day ,so i know he could have done at night too. I think it would have set me up for an easier time now! So at 6 months, I wish I had done, for example, bedtime at 7:30, no feeds before 11.30 (so prob a feed 11:30-12) and then next one 4am-ish, meaning we would then get up for the day at 8. I didn't though, and got all exhausted and frustrated and cried

Katie, now reuben is a little older, I feel a bit better about making him wait. We've done 2 nights now of feeds restricted to 5 minutes long. Yesterday, he ate about triple what he normally would at dinner time. And then snatched food off my plate an hour later and ate it. I think he was hungry last night ,he had 5 mins at 1130 and went back down fine, but woke up at 330 and kept us all awake until 6am when I cracked...but he took a full feed and it was only an hour before we would have been getting up anyway. I think there has to be a little bit of hunger - if I always fill him up at night, wheres the incentive to eat in the day? So last night was rough, I think tonight will be even rougher, because I will be restricting any feeds to 3 minutes long. But even after one night he ate more in the day (and had longer feeds in the afternoon too), so i think its a gradual shift - less food at night, give him a couple of days to work out."oh yeah i can eat this stuff when it's light out".

Sorry I've rambled a bit, does that make sense??? AM very tired!!

katiechoc_2

Fab pic fluff! I tried G with houmous yesterday after you'd mentioned it, spread on a rice cake. He charmingly sucked all the houmous off and spat out soggy little piles of rice cake.

That makes a lot of sense turtle, thanks. Think I'm going to aim to get him to one wake up a night with a feed for now, that's a huge drop compared to what he was like just a couple of weeks ago. Then see how his eating goes from there. If he wakes up at 2ish then sleeps through til 8 that's a chance for 6 hours uninterrupted sleep, heaven!!!!!!!!

My next task is to photo and disassemble the much loved jumperoo ready for selling. End of an era