MSE Newborn to 1 year Baby Club 1

Elelyn

Bamama my boy has always been a good sleeper. He was doing 5-6 hour stretches at night from being 2 days old (the midwives told us he shouldn't sleep this long but he did and he was fine, was gaining weight beautifully) and from 9 weeks he has slept through night 11-12 hours at a time. At first I was worried and I used to wake him once in the middle of the night to feed him but then I realised I was being daft (didn't want to get him into the habit of waking for the sake of it) and started leaving him. We are formula feeding so I just make sure he's had his full amount of bottles during the day. He's doing great and I consider myself very lucky that I don't have the problems some of the ladies on here do! Having said that he's just turned four months so I'm waiting to see if we get this famous sleep regression that I've heard about.

Bamama

I just don't know what to do for the best.

Here's his feeds yesterday...
Slept 11pm-5.50am when I woke him, fed for 40min
11am for 40min
3.30pm stayed on for ages, nearly an hour
6.15pm for 30min
8.45pm for 45min
11pm for about 40min
I woke him 9.30am, fed for 40min and he stayed awake until 11
And 2.30pm for 40min.
He's stirring again now... it doesn't sound a lot now I'm looking at it.

Gillyx

With breastfeeding it's all about supply, so don't worry your body will make as much milk as baby needs. Maybe mention it to the HV or midwife when you see them and see what they say. You could offer the breast more often during the day, but seems to me he's feeding when he wants to

Bamama

He seems happy and content. Midwife was fine about him having slept 7 hours when she came yesterday. SCBU were like "we won't let him go passed 5 hours" ><

I always thought I'd want to get him into a routine with strict times but I'm going with this on demand type of feeding.

Gillyx

You can't really routine breast feeding, as there will be times he's due a growth spurt and will be feeding for hours to up your supply to cope etc. On demand is the best in the beginning, eventually he and you will work out a loose routine I found letting go of the control hard in the beginning as before baby I was so used to saying "yep I'll do this at 1pm, this at 4pm etc" and it's not possible to be as strict. We have a loose routine now, but he's almost 1 and we are adaptable with different things going on. x

Bamama

Yea I didn't really think I could get him in a routine. OH seemed to get frustrated with the constant feeding yesterday evening.

I'm so lost

Gillyx

Why is he frustrated? Because you're pinned to the sofa with a feeding baby?

It's all a learning curve, and I think men in particular find it hard to know where they slot in to it all. Does he feel a bit useless? Maybe getting him involved in dressing/nappy changes etc will make him feel more useful

I remember when A was born I honestly thought I'd made the biggest mistake of my life, and when people told me "it gets better" I wanted to punch them in the face, but believe me it does get better. Every day gets a little less difficult, and then one day you wake up and you don't dread the day ahead and maybe just maybe you look forward to it, then baby decides to grow some teeth or get poorly and you're back to square one again

PurpleFairy26

Bamama I feel your pain I really do. My LO was 3 weeks yesterday and we have struggled a bit with bf too. It took her over a week to really latch properly meaning I'm cracked and very sore. Ended up at dr on Tuesday as pain over weekend was so sever through whole feed and one was bleeding quite badly. Disappointed that the dr wasn't interested and said I just needed to get them toughened up!

To add to this LO now having growth spurt and has pretty much feed every hour and half for last 36 hours. This is good as she lost 13% of her birth weight in first 12 weeks. It is frustrating my OH though. Think he feels a bit helpless that's all. It'll settle down for us keep smiling

Bamama

I don't know what it is. He was saying "he's awake again" and trying to settle him with a cwtch. I could hear that he was hungry.

I just don't know what to do should I he waking him more in the day as he's barely fed (have changed him and am feeding him now because he needed his meds) or do I leave him until he cries? He was at his birth weight when we came home. I don't know how much milk he's getting but it's usually both boobs and I was pumping 100ml a boob every three-four hours in hospital.

turtlemoose

Bamama I think the one thing I wasn't expecting when I had my baby was how I would feel about my OH. I had two modes towards him - I either loved him more than ever and couldn't believe we made this wonderful baby together.....OR I hated his guts, couldn't believe he had done this to me, wrecked my body and my life, while his went on unchanged, I was furious.

He felt he couldn't do anything as I was BFing, especially the cluster feeding in the evening. We argued and there were tears on both sides about this! At one point, when reu was about 12 weeks old, he even said I was selfish for breastfeeding because it meant I spent more time with reu than him!!'

With the benefit of hindsight (oh what a lovely thing!!) I would have been calmer (if possible with all the crazy hormones making you totally mental, not to mention the pain and the sleep deprivation!!!) and I would have been more assertive. I would have said "OH, I am feeding the baby now, I don't know how longit will take, but when he is finished I would like you to wind him and change his nappy please". I would have been specific about what I needed from OH and what he needed to do.

I remember many a thirsty BFing session, seething inside that my OH had gone to get himself a drink and left me stuck with baby on boob. With hindsight, he has no idea what that feels like, no idea how damn thirsty BFing makes you, and I should have just said "OH, I'm really thirsty and havent been able to get up for 30/60/90minutes, please could you get me a drink/snack etc".

Is cluster feeding is NORMAL, and while it doesn't feel like it right now, it doesn't last forever, I promise. The best thing to do is not worry about it, and just get yourself set up with supplies - drinks, snacks, book/kindle/iPad/tv remote/whatever....and ride it out.

I've had an afternoon off, OH has played with reu, I had a really long luxurious shower, did my hair, and laid on the sofa playing games on the iPad and drinking tea...what a fab afternoon!!! was also lovely to see OH and Reu playing together, lots of giggles!!