what would you do if!!!!!!

minnie123

I agree this must have been really hard to hear and I can understand why it upset you. But it is just male banter - I think if every couple heard every single conversation made by their other half or saw every thought in their head no-one would be in relationships.

shop-to-drop

EllaBeagle wrote: »

Why is it when a man does something like this its 'just male banter' he doesn't really mean it and the woman is an emotional, vulnerable, wreck and its her with the issues????????

More fool the people who would put up with this kind of thing, I know I wouldn't. OP you deserve so much more respect than that.

Remember the 'Diet coke break ads'?

poppy10_2

Calm down, sounds like it was just banter. Don't get so possessive.

meritaten

tbh, if I was in your shoes - I would go ballistic! Male banter my arris!!!!!!!!!!!! banter occurs face to face in all male environments - they dont phone each other to gossip about colleagues or discuss a womans assets! DO they?
Your OH has shown a shocking side of himself! What a thing to say about someone who works with him! if he ever acted on it he would be leaving himself open to charges of sexual harrassment! If this ever got back to the woman involved - I shudder to think what she could quite legally do to him!
I think in your place I would be wondering just how he really views women? and would be very upset that apparently he is not above 'devalueing' women.
I think you need to have a serious talk with him - What he views as 'banter' could have serious consequences for him - and you.
I know I have bucked the 'oh its not serious - its just male talk' trend on here - but my OH works with both males and females and not once in twenty years have I heard him ever refer to his female colleagues in less than professional terms! Its just not acceptable in this day and age!

belfastgirl23

IMHO you know him best. When you confronted him did you feel he was lying or not? If your gut says he wasn't lying then give him a bit of a ticking off and let it go. But if you think he might have been lying then I guess that's a different kettle of fish...

poppy10_2

meritaten wrote: »

Male banter my arris!!!!!!!!!!!! banter occurs face to face in all male environments - they dont phone each other to gossip about colleagues or discuss a womans assets! DO they?

Yes we do, all the time.

victory

tinktinktinkerbell wrote: »

i would end it

Wow, from one answering machine message, 16 year?:eek:

Nah, not nice to hear but it is male ego playing off each other and banter all the way, hardly meant that he is off and strayed and is the devil incarnate.

Derivative

I say this sort of stuff in front of my girlfriend.
"I'll trade you in for a younger model", etcetera. It's reciprocated.

I call it 'humor'. From what I understand, it happens more often during marriages as people tend to trust each other more.

If one of us began to worry about it or go mental like you seem to have, I would feel like "the trust had broken down". Your trust in him.

meritaten

EdgEy wrote: »

I say this sort of stuff in front of my girlfriend.
"I'll trade you in for a younger model", etcetera. It's reciprocated.

I call it 'humor'. From what I understand, it happens more often during marriages as people tend to trust each other more.

If one of us began to worry about it or go mental like you seem to have, I would feel like "the trust had broken down". Your trust in him.

The difference here is that
He didnt say it in front of his partner
He was talking to a friend
He was talking about a female work colleague

If MY OH talked to a male friend about a work colleague in THOSE terms - I would be livid!

Male Banter? That is no excuse at a Tribunal - Those words would be seen as Sexual Harrassment. As they should!

For gawds sake - havent we moved on from the fifties yet?
I have just asked my OH what he thought - and he was horrified! He says that he would NEVER talk about colleagues that way! and fair play to him - he always treats the female staff members with respect!

JulieGeorgiana

Definatly Male Banter... I've accidently read/heard a few things my DH says to his best friend (about me mainly so it's okay)... It's amazing how crude a guy can be when he's talking to another man about woman... yet is the most adorable caring man in the world at all other times.

I will never understand it! But I would forgive it...!