what would you do if!!!!!!

DVardysShadow

If anything really has happened that would be spilt milk. At this stage, you cannot be sure whether the milk has been spilled. So keep your reaction in check, otherwise you risk the milk being spilled as a consequence of your reaction, even if nothing happened in the first place.

DUTR

jenhug wrote: »

just silly male banter. sounds like you are feeling emotionally vulnerable at the moment and it probably wouldn't have worried you so much usually? Just give him a clip round the ear and tell him he owes you a box of chocolates! (Then remind him why he has no need to stray!)

Indeed and we have poor memories

NickyBat

In all honesty there isn't a whole lot you can do, it's not worth throwing 16 years down the pan for is it? But i would make him suffer a while as you are hurt and upset which is understandable, it's men being men. Just be aware in future.

Murtle

shop-to-drop wrote: »

When I read your post I was inclined to think it sounded like male banter. You say you have never suspected always felt you can trust him, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt but make it clear that it has upset you and is not acceptable. He owes you a nice night out or something to apologise. However, if something else happens that makes you doubt him I'd take it seriously.

I agree with this posting. I know it must have come as a shock to hear that, but if you have no reason to doubt your hubby, don't start now.

Work banter like that isn't too unusual. Explain to him how hurt you are and let him treat you nicely!!

tinktinktinkerbell

i would end it

runningwoman

Seriously, IF everything else is fine, I wouldn't worry too much. Give him a b$%£$%$king and concentrate on your own stuff for now (good luck btw).

As a reasonably personable early twenty something, I temped as an admin girl in a male dominated place. There was always a bit of background banter about someone seducing me, or bragging I'd given them a flirtatious look when I'd offered them a cup of tea or something silly like that.

It really wasn't to do with me, as such. Or cheating.

No-one EVER approached me directly to do anything concrete. It was a lot more to do with male one-upmanship and being bored at work and having something to talk about that wasn't cars! No offence to your husband - the fantasies of middle aged men can be pretty risque , but they generally know when they've got a good stable thing.

Don't wish to scare anyone, but if someone wants to cheat and go out of their way to do so there are a LOT of opportunities to do so discretely. So either you trust or you don't at all, there's no point getting paranoid and insecure.

(to be fair its not just men. I play competitive football when I can and the stuff you get in the locker room for a laugh can be very :eek::eek::eek: Doesn't mean anyone's going to be disloyal to their HABs or turn lesbian, its more about team bonding)

Errata

It's just gormless blokes having a gormless conversation.

Lotus-eater

What about two blokes standing talking and watching a woman, one says " I bet she takes it up the arris" , "well I would do it" says the other.

Erotic film?

Nah, just two normal blokes bantering to each other, they'd run a mile if she tried to speak to them.

Men are gullible, gibbering idiots alot of the time around women, but around men, they suddenly seem to have a lot of courage re women.

I was discussing the bottom of one of DD's teachers with another Dad once (it is a nice bottom), our two wives heard and raised their eyes to the skies, but that's about it, because there is no more to it.

peachyprice

julie8314dave wrote: »

If anybody had asked me what my partners reply would have been to this i would have said that he would say I am quite content with my missis i do not need anything else. but instead of that he says as above.

Honestly? He's not going to say this to his colleague, he's going to give it the big un and reply pretty much as he did.

EllaBeagle

Why is it when a man does something like this its 'just male banter' he doesn't really mean it and the woman is an emotional, vulnerable, wreck and its her with the issues????????

More fool the people who would put up with this kind of thing, I know I wouldn't. OP you deserve so much more respect than that.