what would you do if!!!!!!

Lunar_Eclipse

I'd be incredibly shocked if I heard my husband talking about a work colleague in this way.

I think it's way beyond what I'd call acceptable (male) banter for an attached person and am really surprised so many on this thread think it's normal and basically harmless. I'm quite sure I'd be livid, disgusted and upset by what you heard, so I'm sorry for what you're going through.

Not much you can do beyond communicating how you feel and what action/s you would take if he did what he discussed during the conversation with this particular woman or anyone else.

Errata

I've had conversations with colleagues about what we'd like to do, given the chance, to a couple of tasty managers. Did it mean anything? Of course it didn't, and if any of our OH's had overheard us they would have laughed like a drain and said 'Yeah, in your dreams ladies'

dirtysexymonkey

EllaBeagle wrote: »

I guess those saying its ok what he's done are guilty of the same thing

guilty of what? he hasnt done anything wrong.

its talking and a bit of fantasy. if words hurt you that much you must have very low self worth.

meritaten

NAR wrote: »

I certainly hope not.

So I suppose you don't want a good seeing to then? :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Not by YOU hun!
and I have actually brought a sexual harrassment case in front of a Tribunal - and won it. You would be probably be surprised that Tribunals actually think 'male banter' is demeaning to women. Its against Employment Law in these 'supposedly' enlightened days.
You all may think its harmless fun - It isnt to the woman who is the butt of it!

Derivative

EllaBeagle wrote: »

So its basically ok to totally disrespect your partner aswell as talk really sexually disgusting and degrading about a female co-worker??

Really?

You consider it disrespect, others do not.

I suppose that if you 'caught your husband' in such a position, then would be the time to state clearly your views on the subject.

I don't really see that we can gain anything here, it's a difference in opinion. Rather pointless to argue against another's view on a subject that's clearly dependent on individual morals.

Oh - and if I overheard a couple of girls talking about me in the same way, I wouldn't consider it degrading, I'd consider it a compliment. But yes, it would be uncomfortable, in that I'd have to hide a massive smirk every time I saw said individuals.

dirtysexymonkey

EllaBeagle wrote: »

So its basically ok to [STRIKE]totally disrespect[/STRIKE] your partner aswell as talk really [STRIKE]sexually disgusting and degrading[/STRIKE] about a female co-worker??

Really?

take out your opinions and what have you left?

shegirl

Errata wrote: »

I've had conversations with colleagues about what we'd like to do, given the chance, to a couple of tasty managers. Did it mean anything? Of course it didn't, and if any of our OH's had overheard us they would have laughed like a drain and said 'Yeah, in your dreams ladies'

That's what OH said when I kindly 'reminded' him that I turned down Johnny Depp to be with him.Not sure why he reacted in such a manner....:rotfl:

More on topic though,a few weeks back I was teasing him saying I was going to go off with the gorgeous italian guy who had just delivered our takeaway,after saying he was a hot italian.He just replied with 'I think he's probably busy'...I made for the door saying 'oh,he will be' and he creased with laughter! We can tease each other and be relaxed about things because we trust and know each other

dirtysexymonkey

meritaten wrote: »

tbh, if I was in your shoes - I would go ballistic! Male banter my arris!!!!!!!!!!!! banter occurs face to face in all male environments - they dont phone each other to gossip about colleagues or discuss a womans assets! DO they?

it did happen face to face. as is clear.

let me guess, give it ten minutes and youll have done everything that everyone else has done in this thread, done it better etc etc.

it all happens to you doesnt it. i shudder to think how you manage to fit everything in.:rotfl:

dirtysexymonkey

meritaten wrote: »

Not by YOU hun!
and I have actually brought a sexual harrassment case in front of a Tribunal - and won it. You would be probably be surprised that Tribunals actually think 'male banter' is demeaning to women. Its against Employment Law in these 'supposedly' enlightened days.
You all may think its harmless fun - It isnt to the woman who is the butt of it!

can i call them or can i call them?:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

EllaBeagle

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

take out your opinions and what have you left?

Would like to know the woman's opinion at the centre of this 'male banter'