Issue with Brother

patchwork_cat

Oh honestly. My brother is very hit and miss with cards. Yes it irks me sometimes, but that is just people. Some people remember birthdays and are organised, others aren't.

meritaten

lady1964 wrote: »

I no longer call my brother when a card doesn't arrive.

I probably do set a bit too much store in the receiving of cards but I like to send one to show we are thinking of them. For family & close friends, I text as well and phone if they are direct family, parents, sister etc.

It's been interesting to see what other people think, I was a bit taken aback by some responses but realise we aren't all the same. I will no longer stress out about this and now I see that I have probably made a bit too much of it. I have bigger things to worry about now, what with preparing to move overseas and all that is involved in doing that.


I'm disappointed that my posts may indicate to some that I'm uncaring and petty. I do feel like I've been petty but not uncaring :sad: We're not a big family so we all care very much about the family we do have.

lady1964 you were kind enough to set me straight and I understand a bit better now I think!

I DID think on reading your post that you wouldnt bother about bro until April! I see that due to circumstances this isnt the case but you just dont really know how to get in touch?
You set a lot of store by cards etc as a way of keeping in touch dont you? my mum is the same - I am not! That said I do love the little homemade cards the grandkids give me.
Perhaps your bro is getting back with ex - and knowing how everyone feels just cannot face the family?
be patient - HE knows how to get in touch with you and I am sure he will soon.

lady1964

meritaten wrote: »

lady1964 you were kind enough to set me straight and I understand a bit better now I think!

I DID think on reading your post that you wouldnt bother about bro until April! I see that due to circumstances this isnt the case but you just dont really know how to get in touch?
You set a lot of store by cards etc as a way of keeping in touch dont you? my mum is the same - I am not! That said I do love the little homemade cards the grandkids give me.
Perhaps your bro is getting back with ex - and knowing how everyone feels just cannot face the family?
be patient - HE knows how to get in touch with you and I am sure he will soon.

Thank you for posting this ^^^^ I appreciate that you seem to understand me better now
We all know he wants to get back with his ex, not sure what he wants but we know he's spending a lot of his time there, so it may be that a reunion of sorts is happening. He will know for sure how we all feel about it and we feel the way we do because we care about him & don't want him hurt again. But, as I've already said, he's a grown up and they are his choices to make in life and if he makes the wrong one, then it's his decision.
I will try to make contact before I move next week and go from there.
Thanks again for the very positive comments you've made.

meritaten

lady1964 wrote: »

Thank you for posting this ^^^^ I appreciate that you seem to understand me better now
We all know he wants to get back with his ex, not sure what he wants but we know he's spending a lot of his time there, so it may be that a reunion of sorts is happening. He will know for sure how we all feel about it and we feel the way we do because we care about him & don't want him hurt again. But, as I've already said, he's a grown up and they are his choices to make in life and if he makes the wrong one, then it's his decision.
I will try to make contact before I move next week and go from there.
Thanks again for the very positive comments you've made.

I doubt that he understands this hun. Its very difficult when you have split up and YOUR family have all voiced thier opinion of HER - and you want to get back with HER again because you love her or cant take the split with the kids. You are sure that the family will 'disaprove' or nag or simply wash thier hands of you!

I do hope that you can tell him what you have said above which Ive highlighted.

good luck to you (and your bro).

lady1964

Just to update as I know it can be a bit annoying when people post about problems etc then don't update at all.
I got my brother's new number from my mum on New Year's Eve and text him around 9pm - I have had absolutely no reply at all

As I've already said, I don't have an email address for him so am unable to email him and I move overseas tomorrow so have had an immense amount of packing to do, along with other tasks to ensure my dd's are sorted in our house, along with my parents visiting until this morning, I simply haven't had time to write a letter to him to send via snail mail.

I think I just have to accept that we are simply not on his radar at the moment (well for quite some time actually) and move on.

Thanks for all the comments on my original post, it did get me thinking and I have come to terms with things more now than I had when I posted originally.

aliasojo

lady1964 wrote: »

Just to update as I know it can be a bit annoying when people post about problems etc then don't update at all.
I got my brother's new number from my mum on New Year's Eve and text him around 9pm - I have had absolutely no reply at all

Small word of warning....my daughter's phone has recently started not getting texts until hours or days after they were sent.

My OH's Sony Erricson phone never got texts until a full day after they were sent. Some texts never arrived at all.

A change of sim did nothing to help. Neither O2 or the phone manufacturers could tell us why this was the case. OH changed his phone and we now phone daughter rather than text.

I'm not saying that's what has happened here but just bear it in mind?

Perhaps a phone call (final if need be) would be a better decider?

red_devil

aliasojo wrote: »

Small word of warning....my daughter's phone has recently started not getting texts until hours or days after they were sent.

My OH's Sony Erricson phone never got texts until a full day after they were sent. Some texts never arrived at all.

A change of sim did nothing to help. Neither O2 or the phone manufacturers could tell us why this was the case. OH changed his phone and we now phone daughter rather than text.

I'm not saying that's what has happened here but just bear it in mind?

Perhaps a phone call (final if need be) would be a better decider?

why should she keep chasing him? The chances are he did get the text and anyway where is his instigation contacting her. How many times he arranged to see her this year? Move on op sadly he isnt that into you, is it any loss though really. He hardly sounds charming and friendly. . I dont think your missing out.

lady1964

aliasojo wrote: »

Small word of warning....my daughter's phone has recently started not getting texts until hours or days after they were sent.

My OH's Sony Erricson phone never got texts until a full day after they were sent. Some texts never arrived at all.

A change of sim did nothing to help. Neither O2 or the phone manufacturers could tell us why this was the case. OH changed his phone and we now phone daughter rather than text.

I'm not saying that's what has happened here but just bear it in mind?

Perhaps a phone call (final if need be) would be a better decider?

Yes, that may be an issue & one I did think about. I'll try my best to call him tomorrow morning before we leave.

aliasojo

red_devil wrote: »

why should she keep chasing him?

I'm not saying she should.

However I personally feel it is never wise to base life decisions on a potentially unfirm basis and I was simply pointing out that basing her decision on the fact she never got a reply to a text was perhaps not the best thing to do, given the potential for other issues to cause difficulty.

balletshoes

absolutely - texting is never a reliable way of communicating really. if you have the number and you want to speak to your brother, call him.