Tax credits, child maintenance question..

paddygirl

Hmmm. not a nice thread. I feel for all the children involved. They are the ones that suffer when relationship's breakdown.

Pettiness and arrogance is a particulry unpleasant quality to have.

Oldernotwiser

Orville wrote: »

i will continue to do so until such a time they either find out i am not their father by whatever means or she plucks up the courage to do the right thing and tell them the truth.

So, on top of finding that you're not their biological father you'll then stop acting as if you're their dad?

Nice timing!

Vejovis

Orville wrote: »

Yes and i have never said anything different, but you implied the children know i am NOT their father which they don't..!!

they most likely do, children are not stupid, despite what some parents seem to think. they'll know they've been treated differently, and pound to a penny they'll know the exact reason why.

sarahjayne1977

Yes the CSA will include tax credits if she recieves them, I know this as his ex wife gets 7 quid of my childrens tax credits a week. For what its worth i think its wrong.
The tax credits i get are for my CHILDREN !
To be honest from reading a few posts i feel you trying to punish your ex for not getting kids too phone and say thanks..by the only way you can by money! and sorry but i think feelings and love should come before any money

Orville

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

So, on top of finding that you're not their biological father you'll then stop acting as if you're their dad?

Nice timing!

And how have i done that exactly?. I have known i wasn't their father since before i met them as she told me she already had two kids.


!!!!!! read the thread..!

Orville

sarahjayne1977 wrote: »

Yes the CSA will include tax credits if she recieves them, I know this as his ex wife gets 7 quid of my childrens tax credits a week. For what its worth i think its wrong.
The tax credits i get are for my CHILDREN !
To be honest from reading a few posts i feel you trying to punish your ex for not getting kids too phone and say thanks..by the only way you can by money! and sorry but i think feelings and love should come before any money

You can say that. But is claiming what i am entitled to punishing her?. I mean by not claiming what i should be entitled to am i not depriving the child i lookafter?.

She lives at home with her mum. Earns double what i do and now only has a few outgoings. She does not buy anything for her kids if she can help it and prefers to go wherever while leaving them with her mother. She chooses not to tell them the truth about their father and as a consequence does not claim maintenance from him. Yet even though i am a single raising my son alone, yes i have moved back with the parents, but i pay my way and pay for the childs stuff you expect me to support two boys who arn't mine on a weekly basis by giving her money that i know won't get spent on them?.

You lot are mad...lol

Orville

paddygirl wrote: »

Hmmm. not a nice thread. I feel for all the children involved. They are the ones that suffer when relationship's breakdown.

Pettiness and arrogance is a particulry unpleasant quality to have.

The children have not suffered at all. Infact in some respects their lives are probably better in that they are in a more peaceful enviroment. It is not my fault their mum chooses to go off and leave them at home etc. that is a cross she has to bear. They know they can phone me anytime and also come to stay. If they phone and ask for somthing i 9/10 times get it for them. I take them on holidays buy them presents etc, do what a nrp can do. If i could i would have them with me, but because they are not mine i legally can't.

Oldernotwiser

Orville wrote: »

And how have i done that exactly?. I have known i wasn't their father since before i met them as she told me she already had two kids.


!!!!!! read the thread..!

You might have noticed that I have read the thread as my post was in answer to your comment,

"i will continue to do so until such a time they either find out i am not their father by whatever means or she plucks up the courage to do the right thing and tell them the truth."

What a short memory you have.

Orville

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

You might have noticed that I have read the thread as my post was in answer to your comment,

"i will continue to do so until such a time they either find out i am not their father by whatever means or she plucks up the courage to do the right thing and tell them the truth."

What a short memory you have.

Yes because until she tells them i will be seen by them as their father, if and when she does tell them the truth, they may well want to know who their real father is and maybe start a relationship. I will then become their step dad and will still always be there for them. Where did i say i will stop acting as their dad..?

FBaby

I'm sorry Orville, but you are right I don't understand. From my perspective, biological or not, either you are a dad or you are not. In your case, it would seem that two children believe that you are their dad, you consider yourself as their dad when it suits you, ie. when you can get their love and gratefulness, but not to contribute towards their actual needs, ie. what they need on a day to day basis, food, shelter etc... You seem to have position yourself in that pretend caring dad, there to buy them what they want when their mum tells them no (probably for very good reasons), give them holidays etc... Maybe this event at Christmas is the start of them realising that all you are doing is buying their love rather than being there as a proper dad to them, maybe they are starting to question things?

You say you would have them with you if you could, yet you don't think you have to support them daily. Wouldn't you do so if they lived with you? So why is it different because they live with their mum? Why are you expecting maintenance from her then if that is how you feel?

Seems to me that you are using the 'their are not biologically mine' just to give yourself a good conscience as to why you don't provide any maintenance for them.