Tax credits, child maintenance question..

Orville

FBaby wrote: »

So really, they are as if they were yours, you've brought them up as your children, but because they are not biologically yours, it is now ok to justify not contributing towards them financially at all, and yet you want to get more from their mum for your biological child? Presumably, she doesn't get any maintenance from the two children's biological father?

How old are the children? Yes, giving you a call to say thank you would have been nice. Getting into a huff and a puff because they didn't and wanting to punish the mum for it is in my opinion over the top. In your situation, I would have called them myself and got cross with them if they had not thank me then.

Who says i don't contribute twoards them?. I may not give her maintenance but why should i?. She chooses not to chase their real father. When i was with her all money went into the family pot so to speak and got spent as if we are a family unit.

As i have said before, you do not know her, children need reminding to say thank you sometimes what purpose would it have served if i phoned them up and got angry with them. As i said earlier, she said she was going to get them to call, but true to form she didn't, just like last year when we were ment to split having the kids between us and because she was being the usual she never brought them round at the agreed time, but about 5 hrs later..

Orville

clearingout wrote: »

Fbaby is spot on - you are angry because your ex didn't follow what you consider to be appropriate etiquette and now are threatening her with the CSA. The self employed are very, very difficult to get money out of through the CSA so good luck with that - I am 3 years and counting....

As i keep saying you don't know her. Up until now i have been soft with her but yesterday was the last straw. As for her being self employed, she is also employed as a fiancial accountant. I can't see how her self employed earnings would be that hard to trace as what her website earns all monies go through paypal.

skibadee

OP definetly open a case with the CSA.....you are entitled to help from the NRP towards supporting your child, regardless of how much she will have to pay, it is a good idea to have the case open and asked for reviews frequently.
If you can come to a private arrangement it would be so much better though, as from next year the CSA are going to be charging both parents for using their ''services''!!
As the for the debate regarding etiquette......well I have my own opinion on that and will keep it to myself as do not feel its relevent.
But do not let yesterdays problem get to you too much, the only people you'll hurt are the children....I don't know their ages, but in my experience sometimes children are torn between what not and what to do.
Theres always the slight chance too...depending on their ages....they were too engrossed in christmas day!!

Orville

skibadee wrote: »

OP definetly open a case with the CSA.....you are entitled to help from the NRP towards supporting your child, regardless of how much she will have to pay, it is a good idea to have the case open and asked for reviews frequently.
If you can come to a private arrangement it would be so much better though, as from next year the CSA are going to be charging both parents for using their ''services''!!
As the for the debate regarding etiquette......well I have my own opinion on that and will keep it to myself as do not feel its relevent.
But do not let yesterdays problem get to you too much, the only people you'll hurt are the children....I don't know their ages, but in my experience sometimes children are torn between what not and what to do.
Theres always the slight chance too...depending on their ages....they were too engrossed in christmas day!!

I have to laugh, and i am not laughing at you, but charging for their services..?. The CSA are inept at the best of times and i really do not want to use them but i feel i now have no choice if i want to get a true idea of her earnings and what i am entitled to.

Can you give an idea on what these charges are..?

skibadee

I totaly agree with you OP re the CSA charging...damn joke!

There is a thread on here somewhere about it, if I find it I'll post it.

clearingout

Orville wrote: »

As i keep saying you don't know her. Up until now i have been soft with her but yesterday was the last straw. As for her being self employed, she is also employed as a fiancial accountant. I can't see how her self employed earnings would be that hard to trace as what her website earns all monies go through paypal.

Oh dear....you need to wake up and smell the coffee, I'm afraid.

If she earns as an accountant on a PAYE basis then by going through the CSA, you'll get 15% of her earnings, after deductions for the one child.

As an accountant, she should know the ins and outs of what can be legitimately claimed to reduce her self employed income to £0 or less on paper (of course, that depends on just how much she is earning, if she's very successful it won't be £0). My ex has a ton of money flowing through paypal - and they have the evidence of that - but it doesn't mean they can do anything about it. The CSA won't do the leg work for you, you do realise that don't you? And if you don't have the right evidence, you'll get frustratingly nowhere. I would suggest searching the child support section using the words 'self employed' and having a good read of the threads there. You can, in all reality, expect nothing from her self employment or at the most, a very reduced amount compared with what it should be. Simply put, the laws around self employment and tax/expenses/deductions are not particularly well aligned with the laws around child maintenance. And the CSA have little teeth to be able to deal with the issue making it doubly hard.

Charging is set to come in next year, yes. However, it will in the first instance be for new cases only. I am not sure that we have yet had definite figures on what the charges will be but you can expect to see your maintenance reduced as a result of using the CSA. Your ex will have her maintenance increased as a result of using the CSA. You will both be charged, makes no difference who's fault it is you have to use the CSA. If you open a case now, you will likely avoid the charges for quite some time (there are still people on CSA1 who were promised in 2003 that they would be moved to CSA2 and haven't been) but probably not forever as I suspect the Government will move quickly on this issue because it's one less thing they'll be paying for....

Charging will reduce the huge burden that the CSA is on the tax payer. However, it is unlikely it will be the wonderful cure-all for separated parenting that the CSA's consultation documents are suggesting. More than ever, I suspect PWC will struggle to get the money they are legitimately owed to support their children. If you can keep things as amicable as possible with your ex, things would undoubtedly be better for the children concerned. Many of us have difficult exs - I could write pages on mine here - but that doesn't mean he's going to behave any better or adhere to what I consider appropriate separated parenting etiquette. More than likely, he thinks I'm as miserable as I think he's miserable. Trying to put yourself in the other person's shoes helps keep some perspective. Kids not phoning on Xmas Day? In the big scheme of things, does it really matter?

Orville

clearingout wrote: »

Oh dear....you need to wake up and smell the coffee, I'm afraid.

Kids not phoning on Xmas Day? In the big scheme of things, does it really matter?

Coffee is well and truely smelt thankyou. Yes in the big scheme it does matter to me. If it don't matter to you, do i care?. NoPE.

As for the self employed bit i am not expecting it to be much anyway as the site has not been going that long, for all i know it probably is not even in her name, but it wouldn't hurt to get the csa to ask?. She wouldn't dare lie to the csa because if she ever got prosecuted for fraud etc, her carrear would be over. Most of the income comes from her job i know, but i also asked if any benefits she receives were taken into account such as tax credits etc....

clearingout

don't count on her not lying. If my ex gets a criminal prosecution, he'll likely never work again. He doesn't think that far ahead....

Orville

clearingout wrote: »

don't count on her not lying. If my ex gets a criminal prosecution, he'll likely never work again. He doesn't think that far ahead....

She won't lie. She can't, she would never risk that, i know too much and am not stupid. She has had alot of debt too recently which was another reason i did not press for too much money, but that has now also been paid off, so i think it's about time more money came my way anyway....

clearingout

So it's about revenge?

Any woman dared post 'so I think it's about time more money came my way anyway', we'd be branded as 'money grabbing' and 'greedy' PWC. Many, many PWC accept far less in maintenance than they need to for a whole host of reasons, but mainly, I suspect, for the 'reverse psychology' reaction it gives. You know, you allow the NRP to get one over on you therefore you are the one who is actually in control rather than going all out for every penny and have your whole life consumed with the NRP doing their best to get their own back...

You seem to assume that those of us who have been there, done that, don't know what we're talking about. I hope you never have to find out that we do.