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The 4 year old shouldn't really need boundaries constantly reinforced in my opinion: the groundwork should have been done before this age. My daughter is the same age and she behaves herself in most situations (unless she's tired).

With the 2 year old, I'd say that constantly reinforcing boundaries is normal, challenging and tiring at this age. It is at around this age they're starting to learn what is acceptable and what isn't. So for instance, if my 2 year old was running around a library or somewhere other than a park/playcentre like a wild thing, then she'd be put on my knee and told she had to sit still. Yes, they'll try and get down, but telling them to stay on mummy's knee is what I'd call normal parenting. I don't think letting them carry on doing what they want "because they're just children" is any excuse.

Same with interrupting: I let my child know that I'm in the middle of a conversation at the minute and that I'll see to them in a second.

Mojisola

elantan wrote: »

"In a minute chatterbox I'm talking to... just now "

WoW WoW WoW ... I actually can't think of anything else I want to say to that that can be printed

I know in this instance balletshoes put "chatterbox" instead of the child's name but do you really think there's anything wrong with using the word?

elantan

i understand that i will be in the minority thinking this ... but yes i do

picnmix

elantan wrote: »

"In a minute chatterbox I'm talking to... just now "

WoW WoW WoW ... I actually can't think of anything else I want to say to that that can be printed

I too am a little confused, I know that if I am talking to someone and one of my little one's (7 and 4) interupts I always say "In a minute I'm talking to ........ ". It's part of teaching children manners.

I got you balletshoes - I didn't think for one second that "chatterbox" was the little one's name, however sometimes I call my kiddies chatterbox if they are nattering on when they shouldn't be.

To the OP, again I will say your mum has not said that she prefers other children in the family to yours, just a feeling you get as they maybe easier to deal with over a period of time. I know my kiddies have friends that when they come to tea I have a feeling of "oh lawd" as they are harder work, not naughty, just harder , and other friends that are much easier for a few hours. It doesn't mean that I perfer one set over another.

Mojisola

picnmix wrote: »

I got you balletshoes - I didn't think for one second that "chatterbox" was the little one's name, however sometimes I call my kiddies chatterbox if they are nattering on when they shouldn't be.

Exactly. My kids were quite used to me calling them chatterbox, sunshine, mad ike, baby elephant (when they were clumping around!) and so on.

I really can't understand why elantan was so shocked.

Kaz2904

Goodness me, chatterbox is a term of endearment in our house. It's lovely to snuggle up on the sofa with one of my little "chatterboxes" and hear what they want to waffle on about.
Slightly better than DH's ringtone on his phone which shouts "Quit yo' jibber jabber and get yo' phone!" I nearly ended myself the first time it roared out from behind my head when I was resting on the sofa in the evening :eek:


Sorry for wandering OT OP .
I don't think that your Mum prefers your sister's children to yours, it's just that they are easier for her. My 2 are very active and inquisitive and my Uncle made a passing comment on day that it was so lovely having them to stay over at the weekends because they don't just plonk in front of the tv or wii. DS will sit and build a lego train track complete with electrics and DD will spend ages doing artwork before they all go out for a few mile walk. He directly commented that my nephew just wants to sit in front of the tv and play on the wii.
My nephew is a dear little soul with not a bad bone in his body but nobody in the family can 'get' him because he just sits. He also doesn't eat anything (he clearly does but you know what I mean) which is very frustrating for all of us adults as we know he's hungry and he gets upset but we don't seem to be able to provide him with a meal which he will eat. This is very upsetting because we don't want to make him unhappy because we love him. I am now insisting that my sister tells me precisely what to feed him when he comes down because she knows what he will eat.
Anyway, I'm waffling

victory

Chatterbox? Can't understand why the offence?

As for children interrupting, it is not cute, not 'ah bless so and so, look they want to ask a question' it is attention seeking and not necessary if they know their needs will be meet as said in a moment and they do not have to be the centre of attention all the time.

I had a friend that allowed interruption all the time, she said 'it was sweet' and her children 'had active, lively minds' that they were curious and funny, that 'they needed to feel part of it'

Sure kids need to feel part of it and cannot be sent to a room just because you have people around the house, no absolutely not but it is not sweet or endearing, it is tiresome and disruptive.

toomanyshoesfortwofeet

I have two small children, also 4 and 2, who also fall at the high energy end of the personality spectrum.

I'm lucky because my sons' grandparents take pleasure and pride in their zest for life and for learning in particular. There are times however when, usually after a bad night's sleep, I find the constant noise, torrent of questions and high activity levels dizzying and on these days I find myself counting down the minutes until dh arrives so I can have some space to myself. It's not that they are naughty, they are as well behaved as others their age, it is just that they run at a different speed to your average small human and it is here where I am most 'challenged'.

Anyway, it might be that your Mum finds it more rewarding to look after your sister's children because they make her feel like she is doing a good job. I know I would feel a lot more smug about my parenting abilities and choices on these 'challenging' days if my children were as easily entertained as some others I know.

(written after a VERY difficult night and praying for an easier one)

Oldernotwiser

elantan wrote: »

i understand that i will be in the minority thinking this ... but yes i do

Are you replying to Mojisola's post or mine?

In other words, is it the use of the word "chatterbox" you object to or the idea of expecting a child to wait for a little while if the adult is talking to someone else?

LittleMissInDebt

y DH and I have five children between us and I can honestly I don't have favourites, but some are easier to spend time with than others. Doesn't mean I like the exhausting ones less, it's just that they are exhausting, really, really exhausting. I can imagine though that this is even more so for my parents who are not used to looking after young children anymore, my mum still loves having them - although not all at one - but dad is frequently noted slipping away to his garage and hiding until they're gone I don't find it offensive that he finds them tiring (and probably loud and boisterous) because so do I.

I wouldn't worry about your mums comments OP, children are just all different. And like someone else said, it often ends up that the quiet ones are the worst - at least you know what the loud ones are doing, because they can't help telling you

PS Love the word Chatterbox, always did even as a child, makes me picture a bright and cheerful child who is just generally happy... don't know why - maybe I was one