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alwaysbrassic

jackyann wrote: »

And some people have no idea of how normal children behave! And some families can make astonishing judgements!
One of my friends had a tough time with her family who were used to well-behaved little girls, eager to please, and couldn't quite cope with her son - who fitted in with my family so well, that people thought he was one of my "on-the-go" kids!
Although there are obviously different personalities, often children's behaviour is dictated by whether the adults around them are taking pleasure in their company, or regarding them as a nuisance.

This is very true!!

neverdespairgirl

DVardysShadow wrote: »

What do your kids do while you are colouring?

I've only got 1. I usually end up being asked to add in a house, or a plane, or a rocket. Some of the time I chat to other people. Some of the time I'm a station for trains.

Oldernotwiser

alwaysbrassic wrote: »

Other than tying them to a chair and taping their mouths shut, which I'm sure isn't legal, how can you teach them how to behave?
.

They're very young for you to have given up on teaching them how to behave, which is one of the most important parts of parenting. You're surely not just letting them behave in whatever way they like?

victory

alwaysbrassic wrote: »

Other than tying them to a chair and taping their mouths shut, which I'm sure isn't legal, how can you teach them how to behave?
I certainly don't want to raise children who are scared to speak, how will they gain confidence. Same for the energy, is it more advisable to sit them in front of the tv all day watching them get unfit, purely because I want an hour to myself?
I had children with the view that they would change my life, not that they would quietly fit into my life.
My issue is the approach my mum has taken. If she finds them hard, let's discuss it and work with it, not compare them and slate them.
I started this thread feeling quite sad that my children are quite tiring, I've reached the point now that I am proud of the job I'm doing. My children may be difficult but they are polite and respectful, they never smack or be rude. They are, well, children.

Of course they are children I get that but to so far so early on in their young lives to give up on behaviour, control, authority, discipline is not good

JC9297

FBaby wrote: »

I have to say though that I myself do find it hard to be around kids full of beans, probably because I am used to mine who are very rarely hyper (and when they are, they are quickly sent to their bedroom to calm down!). I tend not to see some friends too often because I find their kids totally exhausting. I do find it unacceptable that a parent can't have two hours of peace to talk to a friend with kids who are over the age of 5/6. One of my friends can't spend 5 minutes without having to shout to her kids not to do something, or to do something, or because they will interupt to ask for something or demand something... I find it very frustrating.

I do accept that my kids are probably out of the norm, that most kids are much more energetic and demanding of attention and that it doesn't make them less lovable, but there are a number of kids I certainly wouldn't want to look after because they are just more than what I can cope with not being used to it, the main issue for me being excessive noise.

So if a friend visits you expect your children not to disturb you for two hours whilst you talk? Or you take your children to visit someone and expect them to sit quietly whilst you talk for a couple of hours? I don't think any normal 5 year old could do this.

alwaysbrassic

JC9297 wrote: »

So if a friend visits you expect your children not to disturb you for two hours whilst you talk? Or you take your children to visit someone and expect them to sit quietly whilst you talk for a couple of hours? I don't think any normal 5 year old could do this.

I find it amazing that any child can do this, I never did as a child, and don't know of any other child that does this!

I haven't given up in disciplining my children! I discipline when necessary, but not to the point that I want 2 mute children who are scared of me!

I have friends with young children, and many of the children are similar, they are children! I didn't realise we were going back to the days of children should be seen and not heard. Perhaps I should stop cuddling them and expressing my live, or they may grow up too soft?
Parenting isn't just about discipline. My sister who has the wonderful children has no discipline in her household. Days are frequently spent in pj's in front of the tv, eating whatever whenever. This obviously hasn't had a detrimental affect on her children. However, she chooses that method and it isn't my place to criticise.

neverdespairgirl

alwaysbrassic wrote: »

I think I have miss used the word challenging. My daughter talks constantly. She asks question after question, and challenges every explanation you give her. She is by no means violent nor does she shout and scream or paddy. She is and always has been very old for her age, and has never been satisfied with normal children's toys etc. my son is a typical little boy who likes jumping and climbing. You do need eyes up your bum with them but I dont suppose there are many parents who dont. Both are polite, and have manners and know when to say please and thank you. They are just not very relaxing!!

My son is like both of those - always on the move, but also very curious about how things work.

We've tried, consistently, since he was very small, to explain to him that sometimes you can't ask questions, that sometimes you need to be quieter. It does work, over time (he's now 6).

CH27

alwaysbrassic wrote: »

Other than tying them to a chair and taping their mouths shut, which I'm sure isn't legal, how can you teach them how to behave?
I certainly don't want to raise children who are scared to speak, how will they gain confidence. Same for the energy, is it more advisable to sit them in front of the tv all day watching them get unfit, purely because I want an hour to myself?
I had children with the view that they would change my life, not that they would quietly fit into my life.
My issue is the approach my mum has taken. If she finds them hard, let's discuss it and work with it, not compare them and slate them.
I started this thread feeling quite sad that my children are quite tiring, I've reached the point now that I am proud of the job I'm doing. My children may be difficult but they are polite and respectful, they never smack or be rude. They are, well, children.

You talk to them quietly about what is appropriate behaviour.
You hush them when you are talking & teach them to stop interupting.
Teach them about indoor & outdoor voices.
Teach your son that climbing on furniture is not acceptable etc.

Give them firm boundaries.

alwaysbrassic

My children are disciplined as and when necessary. Discipline takes on different forms, and I have never said in any of my posts that I don't discipline. That assumption has just been made by the many broad minded people out there.
Judging from the opinions on here, maybe the next time my daughter asks a question I should chastise her rather than answer her, and the next time my son is giddy I should send him to his room for being naughty rather than actually spend any time tickling him and playing with him.
I'm sure that will make them grow into well rounded individuals.

CH27

alwaysbrassic wrote: »

My children are disciplined as and when necessary. Discipline takes on different forms, and I have never said in any of my posts that I don't discipline. That assumption has just been made by the many broad minded people out there.
Judging from the opinions on here, maybe the next time my daughter asks a question I should chastise her rather than answer her, and the next time my son is giddy I should send him to his room for being naughty rather than actually spend any time tickling him and playing with him.
I'm sure that will make them grow into well rounded individuals.

Ok! I get it. Your children are practically perfect in every way:D