Favourites

DKLS

It's only natural to pick a favourite, I have two nieces, one is happy go lucky, always smiling and laughing and is great fun to be around, the other is a maungy little !!!!er, with a face you could never tire of slapping (only joking but you get the drift)

neverdespairgirl

picnmix wrote: »

This made me giggle, my DH thinks I'm a loon when we go to an "occasion" as I pack my bag full of things "to keep them occupied". BBQ's, weddings, funerals etc. Other parents who don't think like me call me Mary Poppins!

At the last wedding we went to, I had a colouring book, felt tips, packet of stickers, and a collection of small trains and cars which would be played with on the edge of the table, quietly, without disturbing anyone else.

If we didn't have that, then my son would be one of hte pain-in-the-backside children running around. His tolerance for sitting still at a table isn't unlimited.

mico62

My parents live abroad and even when they were here had next to no contact with my children and I think they're the same with my brother's kids so we don't have to worry about favourtism.

My ex-MIL always favoured her daughter's adopted children over mine, often cancelling arrangements to babysit ours when I was still married to her son so she could babysit the other 2 - we caught her out more than once when we rang SIL's house :mad:

My children did notice how their cousins were treated especially when they were younger but now step uncle has had children their 'Grandad', who eldest had a good relationship with, doesn't want to know them any more and is nearly always out when we visit.

The best is their nan always says its ok for grandad not to want to do things with eldest anymore cos 'bloods thicker than water and J & E are his real grandchildren', I'd love to have the balls to tell her M & C aren't her blood but my 2 are.

alwaysbrassic

I think I have miss used the word challenging. My daughter talks constantly. She asks question after question, and challenges every explanation you give her. She is by no means violent nor does she shout and scream or paddy. She is and always has been very old for her age, and has never been satisfied with normal children's toys etc. my son is a typical little boy who likes jumping and climbing. You do need eyes up your bum with them but I dont suppose there are many parents who dont. Both are polite, and have manners and know when to say please and thank you. They are just not very relaxing!!

Mojisola

alwaysbrassic wrote: »

Just been on the phone to my mum, who has yet again informed me how good my sisters little girls have been for her today, how well they have eaten, how well behaved they have been etc etc.
As opposed to my big and girl who she constantly drops hints are hard work.
My 2 little ones do have very strong personalities (they are 4 and 2), and even myself and my husband find them challenging but at the same time so amusing and unique and awe inspiring.
I just rely get the distinct impression ( having been told my nieces are a joy to have) that if she like pick, it would be them hands down. It's really upsetting me as its ongoing. My children are picking up on it and that makes them behave worse for my mum!

alwaysbrassic wrote: »

I think I have miss used the word challenging. My daughter talks constantly. She asks question after question, and challenges every explanation you give her. She is by no means violent nor does she shout and scream or paddy. She is and always has been very old for her age, and has never been satisfied with normal children's toys etc. my son is a typical little boy who likes jumping and climbing. You do need eyes up your bum with them but I dont suppose there are many parents who dont. Both are polite, and have manners and know when to say please and thank you. They are just not very relaxing!!

I think your Mum was just being honest. By the sound of it, your two are hard work compared to the other children.

Don't underestimate how much more tiring it can be to look after children when you're a bit older. She may well be shattered after answering non-stop questions from one child while peeling another off the curtains!

This stage won't last and your children may well turn out to be far more interesting people than their cousins as they grow up. Can you work out some ways of helping your Mum to cope with them - eg. shorter visits, favourite DVD so they spend some time sitting quietly?

jackyann

picnmix wrote: »

This made me giggle, my DH thinks I'm a loon when we go to an "occasion" as I pack my bag full of things "to keep them occupied". BBQ's, weddings, funerals etc. Other parents who don't think like me call me Mary Poppins!

And some people have no idea of how normal children behave! And some families can make astonishing judgements!
One of my friends had a tough time with her family who were used to well-behaved little girls, eager to please, and couldn't quite cope with her son - who fitted in with my family so well, that people thought he was one of my "on-the-go" kids!
Although there are obviously different personalities, often children's behaviour is dictated by whether the adults around them are taking pleasure in their company, or regarding them as a nuisance.

somethingcorporate

I don't think it matters where families are concerned, so don't worry about it. There is no accounting for taste!

My grandad has had a favourite for years despite the golden child going off the rails, screwing up his life with drugs and having a number of kids with a number of women. Thinks the sun shines out of his backside despite working for 15 years in nothing better than minimum wage jobs when he has had one, which is not very often. This is in stark contrast to me and my sister who have both worked hard in education, settled with long term partners, got good jobs etc. yet the old stubborn fool couldn't care less!

Good luck, but if someone prefers something then no amount of logic is going to change their minds!

CH27

alwaysbrassic wrote: »

I think I have miss used the word challenging. My daughter talks constantly. She asks question after question, and challenges every explanation you give her. She is by no means violent nor does she shout and scream or paddy. She is and always has been very old for her age, and has never been satisfied with normal children's toys etc. my son is a typical little boy who likes jumping and climbing. You do need eyes up your bum with them but I dont suppose there are many parents who dont. Both are polite, and have manners and know when to say please and thank you. They are just not very relaxing!!

And therefore hard work for your mum.

victory

alwaysbrassic wrote: »

I think I have miss used the word challenging. My daughter talks constantly. She asks question after question, and challenges every explanation you give her. She is by no means violent nor does she shout and scream or paddy. She is and always has been very old for her age, and has never been satisfied with normal children's toys etc. my son is a typical little boy who likes jumping and climbing. You do need eyes up your bum with them but I dont suppose there are many parents who dont. Both are polite, and have manners and know when to say please and thank you. They are just not very relaxing!!

Change it around if your two were your best friends/neighbours children and you had them over for the day would you
a)be looking forward to it or
worried and anxious feeling stressed and corncerned they would get into trouble/harm themselves/be too much for an older person to cope with?

A long time ago I had a friends little boy while she went out for a bit, she said 2 hours and that was extended to most of the day, I was beside myself, the child kept climbing my sofa, running up the stairs, switching on taps to 'see what they do' skidding on the floor in the hallway as it is laminated, sitting, changing channels, wanting a movie on, then not, wanting to colour, draw, paint, then not, I had a headache by the end of it and never did it again.

MELLA_2

She probs means its far easier for her to have subdued children.

From my personal experience. My advice is to carry on being the best parents you can be, bring your children up as best you can and keep the enthusiasm going. You will hear all the time from relatives how talented Perfect Peter is and how well behaved Super Sarah is. We endured this rubbish for years.

Then 20 years later you will find Peter the pickpocket in prison and Sarah the sl*g working the streets....and your kids will be sorted, well adjusted and happy.

Life has a peculiar way of dealing with these things. Just sit back and wait....