Reassure me I'm not being a heartless, witch, please!

Judith_W

You are doing the right thing!!!

Student_Mrs

sqeeky wrote: »

Ahhhh! Tell me I'm doing the right thing, to get rid of him, to refuse to be there for him anymore, to leave him to kill himself and die in horrible pain and confusion.

Just before Christmas. Which will be my first Christmas totally alone.

And that I'm not an evil, cruel witch who is abandoning him to his fate.

You're doing the right thing. Excellent answers on this post, but your generosity, patience, caring and intelligence mean you will not be alone for long, unless that is your choice. What would Christmas day be like with him there? Is there definitely nowhere else to go for Christmas?

Definitely agree about you never letting him back in and dumping stuff at Mums - sometimes the parents don't even know how awful their sons are - though I'm sure they will in this case.

Stay strong sqeeky, lots of people here for you.

MarilynMonroe_2

Make a list of all the nice positive things ... could he ever sort himself out and be the person he once was?
Tough Love springs to mind ... I do get the impression you have lots of feeling for him still and wish he would change, but he might be too far gone I'm afraid. xx

pearl123

You've done the right thing. He need to sober up - long term. And I suspect it will take years before he's fully right - if at all. He's terribly controlling and dysfunctional.
Ending it now saves you more grief. It sounds like it will be never ending trouble with him.

Stay firm... op you can have a normal life without all the dysfunctional behaviour.

Mupette

sqeeky wrote: »

I'm not an evil, cruel witch who is abandoning him to his fate.

Your best out of it, run, run away fast, this guy is a weirdo.

you will find love again... just not this one

[Deleted User]

I'm not going to say much because the replies on here are so good.

The only thing I do want to say is that I know you have the strength to get through these doubts.., the humour with which you write might be protective but it also shows that deep down u know full well exactly what is going on.., can see quite clearly.., and that will help u get through this. Don't let his dialogue (internal) become yours. The best thing u can do is wipe him out of your life and refuse to let him have any more power over you, mentally or physically. Programme yourself if you have to.., mentally give him back the responsibility for his decisions because that's where it rests. Not with you.

Ooops there I am 'not saying a lot' lol.

sqeeky

He called again tonight. I answered because I thought it might be my mum calling in an emergency.

Sounds like he's turning up again tomorrow. He can take whatever is left of 'his stuff' then, as I think I made it pretty clear I'm not spending Christmas with him, or rather that he isn't coming here to eat my food and get drunk in peace. Presumably his mother hadn't thrown him out after all. Hopefully he won't waste the petrol money to do the hundred mile round trip again. He sounded annoyed.


In any case, the police station's only round the corner.

(crosses fingers they won't be needed)



I feel sick and my heart's pounding just at the thought, which proves he shouldn't be here anymore.



Well, I can't get anyone else to fight my battles for me so I guess I'd better try and get some sleep for when he turns up tomorrow.



Thank you everyone for your support - especially the person who sent me a lovely PM (they know who they are). I'll update as soon as I can tomorrow if you're interested.


xxx

MrsAtobe

Sqeeky, can you bag up all his stuff and just hand it over to him on the doorstep? Have you got enough time to do that?

I agree that we on here can't fight your battles for you, but just imagine everyone one who's posted in support of you , behind you when he turns up, with our pinnies on and arms folded, lol! That image should give you enough confidence to get through tomorrow-either that, or have you in hysterics .

**Juice**

He sounds very self centred, manipulative and insecure - I can't see what you're getting out of this relationship. I know it's difficult but I think realistically you need to cut him out completely - you don't need to feel guilty, you're not his keeper and at 45, he shouldn't need someone to be responsible for him.

FatVonD

sqeeky wrote: »

Sounds like he's turning up again tomorrow.

You're letting him call the shots still, stop being a pushover and take some control of the situation. Just take his stuff to his mum's, there's no need whatsoever for him to come to your house.