Reassure me I'm not being a heartless, witch, please!

londonsurrey

Just think of the mobile thrashing as very reasonably priced therapy.

You can now treat yourself to a nice new mobile and enjoy the process.

Lunar_Eclipse

sqeeky wrote: »

Boyfriend of 8 years is a recovered drug addict, decidedly unrecovered alcoholic and heavy smoker. He's 45.

And that I'm not an evil, cruel witch who is abandoning him to his fate.

You're not. I'm sorry to say that I'd left him permanently by the end of your very first sentence.

He is fully responsible for himself and his actions. Nothing you say or do will change that, so whatever happens, it is not your fault, it will be his fate and his alone.

You have tried more than enough to help him. I can only assume that he doesn't want help (perhaps 'yet') and doesn't love you enough to change his behaviour and to stop lying about it. He is incredibly controlling over you (probably because he can control you yet can't control himself!) but is sadly not showing you any of the respect you deserve as a human being, let alone as his girlfriend.

You will do what you will do. I would walk away indefinitely.

Dinah93

Yey go Sqeeky your updates just get better and better! So proud of you. x

smkelb

Just wanted to say well done you. You have found the strength to do the hardest part the rest should be a breeze. On a another note please,please,please take what other posters have said about involving the police seriously and keep a log of his harrassment as this can help no end should things get worse. 2 incidence's of harrassment and they can arrest but they need to know about it. WomensAid can sort you out a panic alarm and extra safety measures around your home such as locks,spy hole etc so chat to them.Also please be aware that an abusive parter is at most threat when a woman ends it and they realise they have lost that control.Im sure you haven't failed to see the news recently and I have to tell you that it is so common. WomensAid have a tick list they use which gives them warning signals that you are in serious danger and I feel like you really need to take the threat seriously and ask for help.There is no shame only admiration for what you have achieved so far. Please stay safe,let someone know and mix up your routine. To anyone else in a similar boat please,please remember that mobile phones can be tracked very easily, im sure you will have all seen the ads 'find out if your partner is cheating,blah,blah,blah you can track there whereabouts via their phone' Yes they really can!!!
These people are very clever, they think about it every second of every day, they are psychopaths whether they use violence or not. It is all about the power and control and once they lose those then they literally have nothing left to lose. Sorry to sound negative but I know these things are fact.