Reassure me I'm not being a heartless, witch, please!

shelley_crow

you're not heartless or a witch. He's an adult, he can sort himsef out. You did the right thing IMO. You've got to do what's right for you. Enjoy time to yourself to go out (gasp!), do what you want to do, who you want to do and when you want to do it. All the best hun

thorsoak

Get him right out of your life - NOW! Even if it means moving home, moving from one town to another - GET SHOT OF HIM! He's costing you too dear!

What he is putting you through is domestic violence.

Sambucus_Nigra

!!!!!!

GET RID

That is all.

j.e.j.

Just wanted to add, it sounds like this guy has a hold on her because she fears that if something happens to him she might feel responsible or guilty.

It's a hard situation to be in, OP, but you are not under any moral obligation to let someone ruin your life as well as their own.

victory

Change locks, move on, don't give him another thought and OMG the usual stuff, no way you have gone way beyond and now it should be all about you and getting those qualifciations,. good luck:D

eamon

He is an alcoholic with probably other undiagnosed health issues caused and routinely inflamed by his chaotic lifestyle. At the moment you and his mother act as fixed point of references in his life. But you already know that you can't sustain this anymore. So your issue boils down to the nitty gritty details of getting this guy of your case. Take advice from your GP, local addiction services etc as to the best methods of achieving this goal.

MrsAtobe

You are not leaving him to his fate, he chose it.

You are not being a cold hearted witch, you are doing what is right for you. Get rid, rebuild your self esteem, and get on with the rest of your life. You will meet some one new, and I speak as someone who had to wait until she was in her forties to meet the love of her life. It can happen, honest.

Just wanted to add, I don't ever think I've seen a thread with such a unanimous response!

Kay_Peel

Write him a letter telling him that you never want to see him again, in any circumstances.

If that doesn't work, get a solicitor to write him a letter.

rachbc

You have living with emotional abuse for 8 years-he has ground you down to the point where you doubt yourself despite all the evidence in front of you. He might not have been violent but his treatment of you has been just as damaging.

All the very best moving on from this man xx

MrsE_2

sqeeky wrote: »

In black and white, I'm well rid. I know I am, even if it means being on my own for the rest of my life, as it's got to be better than being on my own with a great lumpen deadweight hanging round my neck.




Ahhhh! Tell me I'm doing the right thing, to get rid of him, to refuse to be there for him anymore, to leave him to kill himself and die in horrible pain and confusion.

Just before Christmas. Which will be my first Christmas totally alone.

And that I'm not an evil, cruel witch who is abandoning him to his fate.

My ex husband (who I asked to leave in May) didn't do anything nearly like that, but I couldn't live with him not "pulling his weight in life/relationship" with me.

How can you even question if you're right?