18 year old refuses to pay keep, college money going on his enjoyment!!

victory

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

that could be considered cheap depending on the tattoo and the artist. £30 and upwards an hour isn't considered expensive

I don't know anything about tattoes, what I do know is that if he needs a laptop buy it from the money, if you need books buy it from the money, if you can see your parents struggling on a low income help them out, if you need transport buy it from the money, a tattoo is not going to improve your education and chances of getting a job is it?:D

dirtysexymonkey

Purbeck wrote: »

"
Originally Posted by property.advert
My gut feeling is that the parents have had nearly two decades to put something away for his education but didn't or couldn't be bothered, presumably thinking that the taxpayer would fund their offspring's education. A few less nights in the pub or fewer takeaways come ready meals would have paid for this."

Well! That's a sweeping statement if ever I read one! Assuming that the money has gone on booze and takeaways! maybe it went on a mortgage, school trips, clothes, food, looking after an ill or elderly relative, travelling to work because that was a necessity...any one of a number of things.

Not all families can save for a child's education...and at 18 this is no longer a child.

it does beg the question just how they were planning to support him had the government removed child benefit/tax credits or not introduced them?

what then?

soccermom

I have a son 18 and wouldn't expect him to pay anything while in A level education.

I'm guessing at 19 and having a grant of £1000 he is probably at uni. For me personally I wouldn't even contemplate taking into account this money if he is paying to get to class, buying books and any other education related stuff.

If he's pulling in £40 a week then a I would accept a gesture of £20 a month towards household expenses. I know that will probably shock some but i'm off the opinion that if they are still in FT education then to cut them some slack.

Obviously this wouldn't be the same if they were working full time as well and had more income or if they decided to return to education after a few years out.

Not sure if you are still buying his clothes etc all this would be taken into account for me when looking at charging him.

It's not his fault that benefits stop because of his age.

swampduck

A quick question - is his course a degree course or a normal college course?
If it's not a degree - you could claim child benefit until he's 20! At least that is my understanding of it on Directgov.
He'd be ok if doing Alevels, btec, gsces and nvqs cos they are on the list that qualifies you to claim child benefit. But a phone call to the Child benefit office would clarify the issue.

Swampy

Idiophreak

lauraann wrote: »

he will get a grant for just over £1000 next year. I have asked if this is to live on and he said no it is to help with college and that he NEEDS an apple mac because everyone has one :huh: but he now tells me that as he lives at home then me and his stepdad have to support him and that he has decided to spend his grant on a full sleeve tattoo

May read as harsh, but he sounds too stupid to get much out of any education worth doing. I'd advise him to get a job flipping burgers and tattoo himself until that's all anyone will employ him to do. My burgers won't flip themselves.

ciderwithrosie_2

When my oldest 2 were at college, they had weekend jobs in Tesco and were earning about £300 a month in the beginning, they were expected to contribute £30 a month each to the household. Out of their earnings they bought some of their own clothes, their lunches, paid for social events and their own phones. They both went on lads holidays 2 years running so I figured if they could afford to do that, I wasn't keeping them short of funds.

It teaches them nothing of the real world not charging them anything and if they want to be treated as adults then they have to start behaving like adults. They only have 2.5 days at college anyway these days.

It's all very well whoever said parents should be saving in advance for their children's further education but when you have 3 kids and low wages there is no spare money to put by for something that may or may not happen in the future, money left after bills got spent on other things like clothes, shoes, school trips, out of school activities, not funding parents treats and takeaways!

DS3 is at college now and is trying really hard to find a part-time job, he had a paper round for 3 years and worked in a Chinese takeaway for a little while - it's all got a lot harder to get anything though since the other two were that age. If I'm funding all his needs/wants then I expect him to help out when I ask him to though, washing up, running the hoover round, putting the shopping away etc, that's all good training for his future too.

tango

lauraann wrote: »

hi there
don't know if I am in the right forum, my 18 year old wants to do a 3rd year at vollege next year, we will stop getting child benefit and child tax credits for him when he turns 19, he said he will get a grant for just over £1000 next year. I have asked if this is to live on and he said no it is to help with college and that he NEEDS an apple mac because everyone has one :huh: but he now tells me that as he lives at home then me and his stepdad have to support him and that he has decided to spend his grant on a full sleeve tattoo
He works part time and brings home £40 a week which he will continue to do. What do other parents do, we had big argument as I said that he he is not spending the money on a tattoo and that he should help with his keep and he says I am being tight !! We have a low income and struggle and there is no way we can afford to support him when he turns 19 next year, I want to encourage him to stay on education but don't know what to do, my husband says my son should pay for his keep from his grant/wages at about £30 a week but my son threw a paddy about it. What should I do and am I mean saying he needs to give us something for his keep as the money he says he is getting for his course is obviously not going on things it is meant for.

He could be earning more money ? what does he do with his evenings/ weekends.. If any one of mine showed they were spending their money wisely, then yes I would not expect any rent from them if they were only bringing in £40 ,but he clearly is not.Spending all his money on a tattoo and expecting an Apple Mac quite clearly shows that he is acting like a 13 year old rather than a 19 year old.

Do not bankroll him he needs to make his own decisions and face the consequences...

System

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

it does beg the question just how they were planning to support him had the government removed child benefit/tax credits or not introduced them?

what then?

The "what then " would have been sadly, what it would have been for anyone whose parents could not afford to support a child in further education past 16...ie he would have had to try and get a job.

dirtysexymonkey

Purbeck wrote: »

The "what then " would have been sadly, what it would have been for anyone whose parents could not afford to support a child in further education past 16...ie he would have had to try and get a job.

and before then? leave school at 12 to get a job?

or more likely, cut back and live a lifestyle more befitting their income without handouts.

soccermom

tango wrote: »

expecting an Apple Mac quite clearly shows that he is acting like a 13 year old rather than a 19 year old.

Do not bankroll him he needs to make his own decisions and face the consequences...

There are a few creative advertising/graphic design courses that do require you to have access to an Apple Mac, we don't know what course he is doing they haven't said.

It may be that it is a prerequisite for the 3rd year. I know a friend of mines daughter had to have one to start her degree.