18 year old refuses to pay keep, college money going on his enjoyment!!

lauraann_3

Gillyx wrote: »

It really depends I'd say, is the course at college going to enable him to find work or go on to further education? At the moment full time jobs are not easy to come by, so it may make more sense for him to stay on at college if it will help him out in the future.

I'd say his grant should be to get to and from college, cover any expenses that he may encounter as a result of his course, and his wages should help cover any spends he has, shampoo, deodorant etc, clothes he may need.

With wages of £40 a week and a grant of £1000 for the year, it's working out about £59 a week, which for transport, living costs etc, isn't alot. So I'd say take a small amount from him say £10 a week.

I'd continue to pay for his food, no luxuries though, breakfast, lunch, dinner. I wouldn't be shelling out for snacks or take aways. I would expect him to pay for his own clothes etc.

If he chooses to spend his grant on a tattoo, he will have to walk to college and back, and have no clothes or sanitary products for the rest of the year.

lol he doesnt pay anything like you said above, I supply all his clothes, toiletries and I also taxi him about

Gillyx

How much do you need him to give you? If his wages are going up, that gives him about £100 a week. If he's your eldest I assume you're receiving around £20 a week child benefit? If he could cover that and contribute to the internet you are paying which he gets most benefit from, I'd say that would be fair.

If you are finding things tight I know there is loads of help and support over on the Old Style board when it comes to cutting grocery bills etc

Edit: I think by taxi-ing him around, and supplying clothes etc you're not helping your own situation. Why not cut all of that out, and use the money saved there to make up the loss of benefit and tax credits?

shop-to-drop

If the £1000 that is being awarded to him now he is an adult replaces the money you got for him when he was still a dependent then it would seem fair that he give that to you if that's what you would be happy with. Is the £1000 a grant or loan?

I would be inclined to tell him what you want/need for him to continue living with you or tell him he will have to leave and find out first hand what being an adult is like.

Obviously I would take into consideration all the circumstances like how well he is doing with the course and how much work he puts into his course as well as his wages and the costs of keeping him etc before making an offer to him.

lauraann_3

property.advert wrote: »

My gut feeling is that the parents have had nearly two decades to put something away for his education but didn't or couldn't be bothered, presumably thinking that the taxpayer would fund their offspring's education. A few less nights in the pub or fewer takeaways come ready meals would have paid for this.

However, the kid actually has a job, which is more than most layabout teenagers going to college. If he didn't have the job, the parents would be getting more demands for financial assistance. I think he is doing his part to be honest. The tattoo would be a deal breaker though. Awful and permanent reminder of a stupid decision but in this case, with money tight all around, it isn't a rational choice.

I agree with him using the grant for what he needs but if the parents keep banging on the drum about a couple of quid here and there then he's going to be even less receptive to any suggestions. It is the parents job to feed and clothe their kids and that continues while they are at home and in education. If they are rational with him, just perhaps he might see some sense.

how dare you say we couldnt be bothered to put money away, I was a single mum for years that worked and every penny went on my kids, I dont drink, never have , dont smoke and we dont have takeaways, I am married to someone now that isnt his dad who works, how dare you, you have no idea on my circumstances

lauraann_3

richardw wrote: »

Is 'everyone' on the same course?

no they are mates and some arent even at college !!

lauraann_3

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

that could be considered cheap depending on the tattoo and the artist. £30 and upwards an hour isn't considered expensive

£60-£80 an hour more like

*Louise*

lauraann wrote: »

lol he doesnt pay anything like you said above, I supply all his clothes, toiletries and I also taxi him about

Well if he doesn't agree to digs you know the first 3 things to strike off your list for him....that should save you a bit and wake him up a little.;)

lauraann_3

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

it does beg the question just how they were planning to support him had the government removed child benefit/tax credits or not introduced them?

what then?

we didnt think we would be supporting him at 19, I know jobs are rare but I had hoped he would want to work, I left home at 17 and paid my own way and perhaps stupidly assumed he would be the same, at no point did I ever think oh the government (which my husband pays taxes towards) would support him

System

Lauraann, don't take ill thought out remarks to heart.

read through the info on
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/index.htm

Geordie_bear

My mam and dad wouldn't let me pay a penny for board and lodgings & I lived with them until I was 29 & 'flew the nest'. The only condition they had for me was to save a little bit each month in to a savings account which I did. I used the money I earned from working on going out socialising & having fun which is what you should do when your young & now I'm in my 30's and a homeowner I'm now settled & contented & really value money. My lasses parents were exactly the same as mine & didn't charge board and lodgings either I think this is the right way to go & when I have kids I will do the same the thing. Life is really difficult for youngsters today & parents should do everything they can to give them a helping hand!:T