18 year old refuses to pay keep, college money going on his enjoyment!!

RAS

lauraann wrote: »

hi there
don't know if I am in the right forum, my 18 year old wants to do a 3rd year at vollege next year, we will stop getting child benefit and child tax credits for him when he turns 19, he said he will get a grant for just over £1000 next year.

Hi

Exactly what course is he currently studying?

Until you can tell us that, it is impossible to advise if you could continue to get CT and CTC.

19lottie82

My opinion on this is simple. He is in education and not really getting that much cash on the grand scheme on things. If you don't need the money let him keep his cash but he must pay for all him own clothes, toiletries ect BUT if you NEED the money, he must contribute. Simple.

cavework

OP ,
If he refuses to contribute anything for his keep , tell him to look at the alternative accomodation avaliable that will suit his chosen lifestyle.
Ebay tents are going cheap at this time of year.;)

Jinx

I would be livid if my 18 year old decided a tattoo was more important than helping out the family finances regardless of our family financial situation.

To me it sounds like a reality check is needed in the sons life. My daughter is away at Uni (since 18) and works at least 20 hours a week, we do help her a lot re bills, rent etc but she pays her own rent (London prices) and we subsidise travel etc. She has an Apple Mac for her arty course

fuzzybear01

Am I the only person that thinks the Son is trying to wind his Mum up, and doesn't really plan to blow it on a tattoo? I can't honestly imagine anyone thinking it would be sensible to spend that amount of money on a tattoo when they have such a small income.

Idiophreak

fuzzybear01 wrote: »

Am I the only person that thinks the Son is trying to wind his Mum up, and doesn't really plan to blow it on a tattoo? I can't honestly imagine anyone thinking it would be sensible to spend that amount of money on a tattoo when they have such a small income.

Especially someone who's as intelligent as the OP assures us her son is...

Bennifred

The OP's son has £40 a week to spend on just what he wants?!:eek: Would you like to adopt me, OP?

Please don't tell any of my sons you don't make yours contribute, and actually pay for things for him other than food - I don't want them rebelling! Actually, I like to think they wouldn't be so totally selfish and self-centred. And if they were, they'd get short shrift from me.

Gillyx

It's hard to get across to your son that you're struggling financially if you continue to fund all his clothes, lifts everywhere and toiletries.

scheming_gypsy

fuzzybear01 wrote: »

Am I the only person that thinks the Son is trying to wind his Mum up, and doesn't really plan to blow it on a tattoo? I can't honestly imagine anyone thinking it would be sensible to spend that amount of money on a tattoo when they have such a small income.

Are you thinking that as an adult who's been working for x years, paying bills, scrimping and saving and running a home.... Or as an 18 year old still living at home and probably never had to worry too much about paying bills? who's being given £1000


give your average teenager £1000 and they'll think of things to spend it on. Give it to an adult who's working for a living and doesn't have money to throw about and they'll make the most of it

mishelly

I think that you need to be a little harsher on him.

You shouldnt be his taxi/cleaner/chief cook and bottle washer! He should be doing all these things himself at eighteen and the only reason he doesnt is because you do it for him.

I have two boys age 12 and 9 and they wash or dry up every evening, tidy up after themselves and on a Sunday help out with a 'whole house' clean. They both know how to use the washing machine, put clothes out to dry and do some basic cooking and can iron. I am their mother, not their slave and I believe it is my job as a parent to equip them for the real world and this includes paying their way and being able to look after themselves. They both know that when they reach 16 they have to earn or learn. If they are doing both then I expect them to contribute, what amount depends on their income. If they dont want to then they can move out.

If i were in your shoes I would put my foot down and let him know that its your way or the highway.

Or if you want to keep things the way they are, can I move in? I promise to be nice and tidy and I will pay you £30 per week to cover everything and i wont get a tattoo

So, in summary, put your foot down and stick to it. If you go back on what you say things will only get worse.

Chin up.