18 year old refuses to pay keep, college money going on his enjoyment!!

lauraann_3

hi there
don't know if I am in the right forum, my 18 year old wants to do a 3rd year at vollege next year, we will stop getting child benefit and child tax credits for him when he turns 19, he said he will get a grant for just over £1000 next year. I have asked if this is to live on and he said no it is to help with college and that he NEEDS an apple mac because everyone has one :huh: but he now tells me that as he lives at home then me and his stepdad have to support him and that he has decided to spend his grant on a full sleeve tattoo
He works part time and brings home £40 a week which he will continue to do. What do other parents do, we had big argument as I said that he he is not spending the money on a tattoo and that he should help with his keep and he says I am being tight !! We have a low income and struggle and there is no way we can afford to support him when he turns 19 next year, I want to encourage him to stay on education but don't know what to do, my husband says my son should pay for his keep from his grant/wages at about £30 a week but my son threw a paddy about it. What should I do and am I mean saying he needs to give us something for his keep as the money he says he is getting for his course is obviously not going on things it is meant for.

balletshoes

your OH is right, at 19 he should be paying some of his wages to you for his keep.

Sit him down and go through how much it would cost him to survive (rent, bills, taxes, food, laundry, everything he gets for nothing at your home) in the real world - because whether he likes it or not, its time for him to get real. His bills come first, his tattoo money comes after that, just like everyone else (and no, he bl**dy well doesn't need an Apple Mac - nobody does!!)

jamespir

stop being tight cut him some slack if he only gets 40.00 a week taking thirty off him is unfair 15.00 a week would be fairer

as regards to the 1000 pounds spending it on a tatoo is ridiculous make sure he spends it on something he needs and that does not include lining your pockets

scheming_gypsy

£30 a week is a bit high. His grant is £19 a week and he earns £40 a week, so out of his £60 a week you want half of it. That gives him £30 a week to get to college, get to work, buy his college stuff and enjoy himself.
He should be paying towards his keep but 50% is a bit too high when he isn't bringing in a lot. He might as well just sack college off at that rate.

Gigglepig

I'd give him two options:

1) He is over 18, he can do what he likes with his money, move out and support himself
2) He can continue to stay in your house, but your house=your rules. I.e. college grant will go in savings account/be spent on laptop/books, and he'll pay a certain % keep out of his wages.

If you can afford it, put the money he pays you as keep in a separate account (but do not tell him) and let him have it as a gift when he is older and wiser and perhaps needs it to put a deposit down on a house.

scheming_gypsy

jamespir wrote: »

stop being tight cut

I really thought that said something different at first.

Gillyx

It really depends I'd say, is the course at college going to enable him to find work or go on to further education? At the moment full time jobs are not easy to come by, so it may make more sense for him to stay on at college if it will help him out in the future.

I'd say his grant should be to get to and from college, cover any expenses that he may encounter as a result of his course, and his wages should help cover any spends he has, shampoo, deodorant etc, clothes he may need.

With wages of £40 a week and a grant of £1000 for the year, it's working out about £59 a week, which for transport, living costs etc, isn't alot. So I'd say take a small amount from him say £10 a week.

I'd continue to pay for his food, no luxuries though, breakfast, lunch, dinner. I wouldn't be shelling out for snacks or take aways. I would expect him to pay for his own clothes etc.

If he chooses to spend his grant on a tattoo, he will have to walk to college and back, and have no clothes or sanitary products for the rest of the year.

jamespir

:eek:

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

I really thought that said something different at first.

:eek: you are naughty :eek: :rotfl:

Caz3121

He sounds very immature and not quite living in the real world.

There are obviously things that don't cost more with him living with you - rent and council tax will be the same
However if he is using electricity and eating your food then that is impacting the bills and someone needs to pay it

I would start showing him ads on gumtree etc for room shares which are likely to be £70+ per week, stop providing him with food (he can do his own shopping and cooking) and stop providing a laundry service

It is good that he is looking to stay in education, some his age would prefer to pack it in and stay in bed all day. Maybe he needs to look for more hours or another part time job (college hours are often not excessive)

scheming_gypsy

jamespir wrote: »

:eek:

:eek: you are naughty :eek: :rotfl:

don't blame me!!! a lack of punctiation gets you in trouble.
Help your uncle jack off the horse.
Help your uncle jack, off the horse.

scheming_gypsy

Gillyx wrote: »

If he chooses to spend his grant on a tattoo, he will have to walk to college and back, and have no clothes or sanitary products for the rest of the year.

he's an 18 year old student :whistle: