18 year old refuses to pay keep, college money going on his enjoyment!!

newcook

thanks for getting it back on track hootie

kids, please go and bicker via PM or start your own bickering thread and leave the grown ups to carry on the 'conversation' - we dont care who started it or who said what, if you cant play nicely then dont play at all!!!!

victory

newcook wrote: »

thanks for getting it back on track hootie

kids, please go and bicker via PM or start your own bickering thread and leave the grown ups to carry on the 'conversation' - we dont care who started it or who said what, if you cant play nicely then dont play at all!!!!

So agree, please go elsewhere

Jade22

jamespir wrote: »

how do you know he does not need an apple for his course ??/

I havent read all the thread, but I just saw this and it astounded me. As a student with a Mac, I would like to state that no-one needs a mac. Yes they are better for art & design courses. But everything done on a mac can work fine on a PC and vice versa.

Im 19, and have been at uni and college for nearly 3 years. I work, and paid for my laptop and camera by saving up for them.
My mother made a threat as I was working before uni that if I wasnt saving my money, I had to start paying rent (the idea being she'd save it for me). I didnt save as much as I shouldve, but I appreciate where she was coming from.

Your son sounds quite naive. I reckon you should be taking money off him if just to show him how to budget. Then its his own fault if he wastes it all on a tattoo. Then he wont have any money to spend on other things he wants to do.

Also, why isnt he looking for a part time job that means he earns more if he wants to spend more money? Plenty of other students manage it.

jellyhead

How many hours work is £80 a week? I'm guessing at about 16. I worked 18-24 hours a week while at college and uni, and I found the studying very hard on the weeks where I worked 24 hours, and with working nights it was hard to concentrate on the 9am lectures. It sounds to me as if he is working hard enough for his age if he is studying too. I agree with those who say his attitude towards paying his way is bad, but I think when my son gets to that age I will just be thankful if he is studying and working part time. He could just go on the dole

I disagree with thsoe saying his income isn't high. £80p/w plus £20p/w grant is £100 p/w which is a lot more than people on the dole get, and he's also not paying for food, water, TV license, insurance, fuel, etc.

He can walk to college, presumably gets a lift to work and if a packed lunch is provided for college he doesn't actually NEED a penny of this income. Let him buy the apple mac, but he can save for the tattoo out of his wages and he should pat £10-£20 per week I reckon.

Over 18's should just expect to live for nothing and spend all their cash on their lifestyle. Remember this is not the boy's biological father, and this man who has put a roof over his head should have a say in whether he wants board money when the child becomes an adult.

[Deleted User]

If he's not willing to pay then ask him to leave - he's not a child & sounds like he needs to learn to stand on his own 2 feet.

Dxxx

Kate78

I'm very surprised that he thinks he will be getting a grant for £1000 for doing a further education course.

I work in Student Services in an FE college and a student on a media/design course would qualify for an equipment grant of £135 and possibly lunch vouchers and help towards transport to college if the household income is less than £18,000 after tax. Oh, and we give the equipment grant in the form of refund of receipts for kit already purchased or vouchers for the college shop, which does not do tattoos. :rotfl:

I can tell you that colleges absolutely do not dish out £1000 cheques upfront to students as we have to account for spending public money!

If he is thinking of the £1200 Bursary which has been heralded as the replacement for EMA, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but although he may get some help as detailed above (does vary with different colleges), he will get nowhere near that amount.


The only students who get the full amount are (this is the same for all colleges):

• young people in care
• care leavers
• young people claiming income support in their own name
• disabled young people who receive both Employment Support Allowance and Disability Living Allowance in their own name

So as far as the oodles of cash your son thinks he's going to get, he could be in for an unpleasant surprise.

You may still be able to claim CB/CTC for him though, so do check out the direct.gov links other posters have provided.

BitterAndTwisted

One of the things that always surprises me about the many threads we see on this board about this self-same subject, is how these young people managed to acquire that appalling sense of entitlement? Money-management skills and the art of delayed gratification often comes with responsibility in adulthood. Young people do not transmogrify from sensible and grateful children into these selfish, greedy and unreasonable beasts overnight on the eve of their 18th birthdays. I believe that the damage was done a long, long time before and could take an equally long time to undo, if ever.

Bennifred

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

One of the things that always surprises me about the many threads we see on this board about this self-same subject, is how these young people managed to acquire that appalling sense of entitlement? Money-management skills and the art of delayed gratification often comes with responsibility in adulthood. Young people do not transmogrify from sensible and grateful children into these selfish, greedy and unreasonable beasts overnight on the eve of their 18th birthdays. I believe that the damage was done a long, long time before and could take an equally long time to undo, if ever.

I totally agree with this.
It really grates when a colleague with a shiftless, rude, arrogant 22 year old son tells me how lucky I am to have polite, generous, hard-working and helpful children (24, 21 and 19) :mad: However - no guesses where her son got his habits from......;)

MentalMinnie

I'm sorry, but what an ungrateful !!!!!!! My mum was a single parent, on benefits, and I was still at college when I turned 19 and she lost her CB. I was working in a bar from 18 and I was giving her half my weekly wage, without fail. I was aware from an early age that she wasn't in a position to put money aside whilst i was growing up from my education, and I fully understood that. Some of the replies on here make me want to punch someone in the face. If he wants to spend all that money on a tattoo, tell him fine, and wish him luck on finding alternate accomadation.

Oldernotwiser

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

One of the things that always surprises me about the many threads we see on this board about this self-same subject, is how these young people managed to acquire that appalling sense of entitlement? .

From their parents, who frequently post on here that children must always come first, including ahead of their husband, wife or anyone else..

"As ye sow, so shall ye reap"