18 year old refuses to pay keep, college money going on his enjoyment!!

System

and I do have to say that whilst it is not 'his fault' that benefits stop at 18/19 ( and it's good to check as Swampduck has suggested) it may also not be their fault that his parents can't afford to keep an adult child living with them...

Maybe HE should have saved his living expenses prior to reaching this point?

lauraann_3

Purbeck wrote: »

and I do have to say that whilst it is not 'his fault' that benefits stop at 18/19 ( and it's good to check as Swampduck has suggested) it may also not be their fault that his parents can't afford to keep an adult child living with them...

Maybe HE should have saved his living expenses prior to reaching this point?

He has been working for 18 months and brings home between £40-£80 per week and never given me anything, all his money goes on gigs, going out with mates, music etc, he is doing a media course and has his own laptop already but he says he shouldnt have to give me any money because he doesnt earn enough but I am really worried how we are going to manage

System

and you know the parents circumstances DSM? well done, because no one else here does!

and yes, at 13 if not 12, said young man could have started earning .... 5 years of a paper round could have earned him around £1500....

You can't just blame the parents without knowing their circumstances.

adelight

"If your child is aged 16 but under the age of 20, you can still get Child Tax Credit as long as they're in certain types of full-time education. Usually this will be in a school or college, studying for qualifications like:

• A levels
• Scottish Highers
• NVQ at Level 3"

"
If your child is over 16 but under the age of 20 and is on a training course, you can claim tax credits for them as long as it's an 'approved' course. Approved courses:

• don't pay wages
• teach the skills your child needs to do a job"

Are you 100% certain you can't get anything once he turns 19? If you are really that strapped for cash you should investigate it further.
What course is he doing exactly? If he was finishing four A levels or something quite time consuming and doing well then I'd be less inclined to ask him for money, maybe just a small contribution of £10 a week like some people are suggesting.
But if he's doing some 1-2 day a week course and spends all his time swanning around I'd ask for a greater contribution and suggest he finds himself another job or some work experience to compliment his course.

Unless he is doing some really intensive graphics/film etc course where they use apple programs at college and he wants to take it further, he does not need an apple. If he really does need one, he can go get a second hand one from somewhere for £500.
Does his grant come in one chunk at the start of the year or is it termly or performance/attendance related?

Regardless of any of this, tell him to go get himself a christmas temp job in a shop, at a pub, at a christmas market stall- anywhere!! Beg his current job for more hours. If he got more work and booked his ideas up he could buy an apple with hard earned money by the end of the school year.

Gillyx

It's all relative though, because people have more money coming in doesn't mean they have it as disposable income to spend. Generally more money = higher bills and outgoings.

There are very few jobs out there at the moment, the OP's son is attending college to hopefully boost his employability, which in the long run will more than likely help both of them out. If he chooses not to attend college and look for a job, he'l be forced to sign on and the OP will be in the same situation but with her son having less prospects?

tango

soccermom wrote: »

There are a few creative advertising/graphic design courses that do require you to have access to an Apple Mac, we don't know what course he is doing they haven't said.

It may be that it is a prerequisite for the 3rd year. I know a friend of mines daughter had to have one to start her degree.

You right we don't know,but I am going on the OP's post where it is implied that he wants one 'because everyone has one ' that is what my two younger children say now ..

krlyr

jamespir wrote: »

stop being tight cut him some slack if he only gets 40.00 a week taking thirty off him is unfair 15.00 a week would be fairer

Being tight? He'd be paying a whole lot more than £30 a week to live anywhere else.


In my family, all of us kids knew that once we decided to leave fulltime education we had to get a job. My brother was supported all the way up to Uni, those of us that decided to finish at school or college level knew we had to start paying housekeeping. I left college at 16 and made my Saturday job I'd had for two years into a fulltime job and gave my mum £200 a month. By that time, my parents had seperated so I knew the money was going towards food and bills, not for my mum to spend on frivilous luxury items. I know you say your son is doing a third year in college but at 19 he's old enough to realise that electricity, gas, water, etc. cost money and that he is contributing to that cost, so he can contribute to financing it too.
I really appreciated the way my mum did things, it taught me to budget my income, made me appreciate the things I did buy as it involved taking the time to save up for it, and when I moved out of home I was used to a chunk of my wages being allocated for housing and it wasn't quite such a shock to the system to be paying rent.
Your house, your rules, that's the motto we all abided by, and if we didn't like it then we were old enough to move out.

*Louise*

Normally I would be of the opinion that since the teenager in question is still in FT education and earning such a low amount it wouldn't really be fair to take money off them.

HOWEVER, in this case the son is showing no appreciation for the money he is getting and is quite happy to blow it on something which is of no use to his education then it sounds like he needs some guidance in the money department.

If it were my son he would be informed first off that there was no chance I would be forking out for an apple mac, that's what the £1000 is for, and I would suggest an amount of £10 for his 'keep'. If possible I would put this money away for future important college needs (but wouldn't tell him about it.

lauraann_3

jamespir wrote: »

stop being tight cut him some slack if he only gets 40.00 a week taking thirty off him is unfair 15.00 a week would be fairer

as regards to the 1000 pounds spending it on a tatoo is ridiculous make sure he spends it on something he needs and that does not include lining your pockets

lining our pockets, I don't think so, he said he is getting an apple mac or tattoo with the money, all of his money goes on his lifestyle, I am not doing it to make money how dare you, we have done everything for him, even our internet is the top package as when we had a lower allowance for it he used it all up in 5 days when it was supposed to last a month, I would not have money off him for no reason, in an ideal world I would save any money that he gave for his keep and give it back in a lump sum when he left college but unfortunately we cannot afford to do that !

lauraann_3

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

£30 a week is a bit high. His grant is £19 a week and he earns £40 a week, so out of his £60 a week you want half of it. That gives him £30 a week to get to college, get to work, buy his college stuff and enjoy himself.
He should be paying towards his keep but 50% is a bit too high when he isn't bringing in a lot. He might as well just sack college off at that rate.

he will be working 2 days next year and bring home £80 a week, also college is just round the corner so no travelling costs and he hasn never bought anything for college in the 2 years he has been there, but he has bought a £400 tattoo on his leg, gigs at least once a month and going out drinking all weekend !