Daughters dont get on- Spoiling Christmas

marleyboy

I simply don't get into deep conversations with my Sisters at family gatherings, an acknowledgement of a nod or "hello" is as far as I would get, for the sake of my Mother, arguments and disagreements with my Sisters would stay out of the picture, we have another 355 days a Year we can continue to back stab with, so are prepared to bite our tongues on the one day of the Year my Mother would wish us to be all together for HER.

It is not too impossible to concentrate on doting on a Mothers wishes rather than selfishly concentrating on being rivalling siblings at a Mothers expense.

POPPYOSCAR

Emmzi wrote: »

Sorry Poppyoscar, that was to marleyboy who seems to be pitching that having given birth, mothers are then entitles to have offspring do their bidding thereafter.

I hope the OP can find an answer that lets her see both her children and stay on good terms with each!

I understand what you are saying but I did not read it like that.

I do agree that just because someone gives birth to you does not give them the right to tell you what to do, but the mother here seems to have bent over backwards to make it possible for them both to go to her> I do not think they should be telling their mother what is acceptable to them in this instance.

marleyboy

Emmzi wrote: »

Sorry Poppyoscar, that was to marleyboy who seems to be pitching that having given birth, mothers are then entitles to have offspring do their bidding thereafter.

Yes, some of us are proud of our parents, and ever grateful to them for giving us a life to experience such pride.

Then there are those who find the idea of family values just too old fashioned. Such folk don't look at Christmas family gatherings in the same way, however it seems the OP does. Maybe were just too old fashioned, whereas you prefer the modern day approach.

Each to their own I guess.

POPPYOSCAR

[QUOTE=marleyboy;48673529]Yes, some of us are proud of our parents, and ever grateful to them for giving us a life to experience such pride.

Then there are those who find the idea of family values just too old fashioned. Such folk don't look at Christmas family gatherings in the same way, however it seems the OP does. Maybe were just too old fashioned, whereas you prefer the modern day approach.

Each to their own I guess. [/QUOTE]



Perhaps some have had better parental experiences than others though.

lostinrates

marleyboy wrote: »

Yes, some of us are proud of our parents, and ever grateful to them for giving us a life to experience such pride.

Then there are those who find the idea of family values just too old fashioned. Such folk don't look at Christmas family gatherings in the same way, however it seems the OP does. Maybe were just too old fashioned, whereas you prefer the modern day approach.

Each to their own I guess.

Suppose your family included, say, a sibling who had committed a voilent crime against you or your child? Or a sibling who you knew to be a fraudster? Or a sibling who knew you had informed on them for a violent crime or a fraudster and you felt unsafe around them?

there are a lot of people in the world who if they were my sibling I wouldn't fancy spending a jolly family day with, however much I loved my mother and believed in good family values.

We, and possibly even OP, regardless of what her daughters have told her, might not know whether they are really being silly and childish -which is of course very possibly, and I hope, given the alternative, the situation, or whether there is reason to them to feel they really want not to be in each others company. Not seeing their mother alone on suitable dates when they were happy to be there before alone does seem rather puerile though.

mackemdave

I think these posters that are saying it childish shouldnt be so judgemental until they know what the fall out was for.

Im in exactly the same position with my sister ..... after loaning he a considerable amount of money she repays me but putting it into a bond which I cannot touch for 5 yrs and has no guarantee that it will pay the full amount invested....while she and her husband are now mortgage free ....CHILDISH????

Welshwoofs

I'd phone them both up, tell them they are being selfish and childish and making life hell for you so, as a result, you don't want either of them down for Christmas unless they can be together in the same room and be civil.

They're adult; if they are making your life hell then seriously, cancel Christmas on them and think of yourself.

Mojisola

mackemdave wrote: »

I think these posters that are saying it childish shouldnt be so judgemental until they know what the fall out was for.

Im in exactly the same position with my sister ..... after loaning he a considerable amount of money she repays me but putting it into a bond which I cannot touch for 5 yrs and has no guarantee that it will pay the full amount invested....while she and her husband are now mortgage free ....CHILDISH????

reneetoby wrote: »

This year the youngest girl plans to come for Chrismas, first time in a few years but older girl is coming for Christmas eve only. Both now saying they wont come if the other is coming and its all getting heated and Im stuck in the middle getting more and more upset. I asked the youngest if she would travel Christmas Eve and arrive after her sister leaves around 4 o'clock but she she just wont.

This is the childish behaviour.

Bumpmakesfour

marleyboy wrote: »

Yes, some of us are proud of our parents, and ever grateful to them for giving us a life to experience such pride.

Then there are those who find the idea of family values just too old fashioned. Such folk don't look at Christmas family gatherings in the same way, however it seems the OP does. Maybe were just too old fashioned, whereas you prefer the modern day approach.

Each to their own I guess.

What a [STRIKE]load of old tosh[/STRIKE] sweeping generalisation.Not being able to spend any amount of time with a sibling following a serious disagreement/incident does NOT mean you aren't proud of your parents!!
And being unable to tolerate a brother or sister does not mean you find family values too old fashioned.I'm sure the vast majority of people who have had spats with siblings have perfectly normal family values. :wall:

Sambucus_Nigra

Welshwoofs wrote: »

I'd phone them both up, tell them they are being selfish and childish and making life hell for you so, as a result, you don't want either of them down for Christmas unless they can be together in the same room and be civil.

They're adult; if they are making your life hell then seriously, cancel Christmas on them and think of yourself.

They aren't and never were going to be in the same room.