Daughters dont get on- Spoiling Christmas

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I would use the money that would ordinarily have been spent on their presents (and GCs, too) on making the Christmas as nice as possible without them.

Whilst they both still want to see you, it's possible to do that. You aren't taking sides, you're not getting drawn into the fight and they both lose out because of the fight. I know you do too, but that's their doing, not yours.

Bumpmakesfour

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Sometimes in life you have to put aside your own feelings for the sake of others.

I already did this...by not smashing SILs face into a thousand pieces when she said vile things about my premature baby
No seriously in the OPs case the daughters are being totally inconsiderate and placing their mum in an impossible situation.At the VERY least they need to agree to the separate arrangements on xmas eve/xmas day.!!!!!! they don't even have to talk to each other they can agree via mum!

marleyboy

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

If I were you I would just invite them both and leave it at that. If they do not turn up then that is their loss and not yours.

Thats without doubt the BEST advice given, putting the ball firmly in their court as it were. If Mum isn't a good enough reason to go, leave them to it.
:T:T

POPPYOSCAR

Emmzi wrote: »

Mum can't control daughters, so given that is not moveable, what does she want to happen? Mum is going to have to put aside her feelings, clearly.

IMHO a wedding with dozens of guests is a very different deal to xmas with about 6 people there and should easily be possible.

If I were mum I'd ask one for xmas eve meal, one for boxing day, and go to the pub for xmas dinner.

But I'm bah humbug anyway.

No, their mother has tried to work it out for them so that they do not have to see each other and they have refused,they want to be there on their terms and not hers, so she should simply leave it to them now. As I said before, it is their loss not hers.

Why would it be so bad for them to be in each others company for a couple of hours? It is not all day, surely any rational person could suffer that for the sake of their mother?

Bumpmakesfour

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Why would it be so bad for them to be in each others company for a couple of hours? It is not all day, surely any rational person could suffer that for the sake of their mother?

Seriously?Sure that would be a LOVELY christmas sat with two daughters who cannot stand each other,strained silence etc.."for the sake of their mother"..

Emmzi

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Why would it be so bad for them to be in each others company for a couple of hours? It is not all day, surely any rational person could suffer that for the sake of their mother?

For me, I couldn't as sibling is a selfish !!!! who has never put parents above himself despite all the sacrifices they made for him. It would choke me to play happy families. I'm the one that visits, is there hen they are ill, remembers birthdays, etc. His ignorance nauseates me.

So yes, it'd be too much to ask of me, but then, we don't know what the falling out was all about.

Sambucus_Nigra

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Why would it be so bad for them to be in each others company for a couple of hours? It is not all day, surely any rational person could suffer that for the sake of their mother?

They aren't even going to be in the same company; one has been told to come round once the other had left the house and still won't go. Which is the childish bit IMHO.

POPPYOSCAR

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

Seriously?Sure that would be a LOVELY christmas sat with two daughters who cannot stand each other,strained silence etc.."for the sake of their mother"..

Yes seriously.

If they both want to see their mother and father and do not want to arrive/leave as they have been asked, then yes, they should.

marleyboy

Where would such stubbornness stand, were it their Mothers funeral they had to attend?

I cannot imagine it feasable arranging two separate funerals for the sake of childish tantrums.

Emmzi

you don't have to talk at a funeral....