neighbour issues

Mimi09

We live at the end of a cul de sac of a very friendly street. There's a woman in her late 30's who lives opposite to us, keeps herself to herself, everyone regards her as being unfriendly, cold, will avoid eye contact etc. There were various run ins with other neighbours before we moved in several years ago - to the extent the police were called in to talk to her a couple of times.

I've made the effort to be friendly, saying hello etc -she runs hot or cold, either smiles and says hello or completely blanks me, but I've considered us to be on friendly terms. I think she has some fairly deep-rooted 'issues'.

My DD is disabled, in a wheelchair and gets collected by a school bus at 7.45, takes about 10 minutes all in all from when they arrive to leave, the timing occassionally co-incides when she gets home from a night shift at work.

This morning she lost the plot with the bus driver, beeping her horn, verbally abusive, shouting that she shouldn't have to go up onto the pavement to get to her drive, refusing to move until he had reversed up the street to let her past. The driver and his companion were fairly shocked and I felt really bad they were subjected to this.

I won't do anything about it at this stage (apart from apologise to them) but I'm not sure what to do about it if this should reoccur....any advice would be welcome.

Humphrey10

Is there somewhere else the bus could park, so it doesn't block the road for 10 min?

ilikewatch

In all honesty, and as difficult as it may be I think you should really try to avoid involvement. As I understand it (and I may be wrong!) The issue is between your neighbour and the LEA - The LEA has a duty to provide appropriate transport to take your daughter to school, and the neighbour has an issue with the way they are choosing to do this. You don't have any control over the method the LEA choose to collect your daughter, and you don't have any control over how your neighbour feels about this - let them fight it out between themselves!

Nicki

ilikewatch wrote: »

In all honesty, and as difficult as it may be I think you should really try to avoid involvement. As I understand it (and I may be wrong!) The issue is between your neighbour and the LEA - The LEA has a duty to provide appropriate transport to take your daughter to school, and the neighbour has an issue with the way they are choosing to do this. You don't have any control over the method the LEA choose to collect your daughter, and you don't have any control over how your neighbour feels about this - let them fight it out between themselves!

The trouble with this is that the LEA may decide to change the pick up point to one which is much less convenient to OP to placate the neighbour.

My DD has severe learning difficulties and gets school transport which used to pick her up from outside our front door. One of the neighbours, don't know who, complained the noise of the bus was disturbing her every morning at 8.00 am so without consultation with us, the pick up point was changed to 100 yards further away. We now have to cross a busy road at rush hour and wait on the side of said busy road for 10-15 minutes in the morning (as arrival time of bus can be erratic due to traffic or of earlier children on the round aren't going into school that day) with a disabled child with no road safety sense and a small baby in arms.

I would far far have preferred that the neighbour, whoever it was, had spoken to me first about her problem, and I would then have simply asked the bus driver to turn his engine off while DD was getting on and off. Problem solved for everyone!

It does surprise me that people can be so petty about transport issues for disabled children, but I'm afraid they are. If a compromise can be found, that is by far the best solution particularly as OP has a semi cordial relationship with this neighbour

Mrs_Arcanum

Humphrey10 wrote: »

Is there somewhere else the bus could park, so it doesn't block the road for 10 min?

Would expect given the vehicle & location there is very little choice in where it parks.

If the cul-de-sac is anything like ours even a car parked badly will mean you have to go on the pavement to get pass.

Mimi09 - Is there a place where it would be easier for someone to use a driveway to mount the pavement get pass the bus? If so, perhaps the bus driver could stop a few feet either way to make this possible. Other than that there is very little you can do.

Just seems odd this has flared up now after them being back at school for some couple of months.

jojo_2012_2

I think the bus should find somewhere more appropriate to park instead of blocking her drive it doesn't seem very fair to me.

crazyguy

I would post one of these through her door,

Nicki

Nicki wrote: »

It does surprise me that people can be so petty about transport issues for disabled children, but I'm afraid they are. If a compromise can be found, that is by far the best solution particularly as OP has a semi cordial relationship with this neighbour

jojo_2012 wrote: »

I think the bus should find somewhere more appropriate to park instead of blocking her drive it doesn't seem very fair to me.

And I rest my case!

OP did not say that the bus was blocking the woman's drive, just that due to the tightness of access the woman needed to either wait for the bus to move, or to go up on the pavement briefly, to get past to her house. This is commonplace in London with narrow streets whether or not a bus is letting a child on a wheelchair embark or disembark, and frankly no big deal.

OP lives at the end of a cul de sac so it is very likely that where the bus stops causes inconvenience to the least number of people possible. If it stopped further from OP's house, I would suspect people who live in all the houses in between where it stops and where OP lives could also not get past. So the only other option is for it to stop outside of the cul de sac, which could be quite some way away. Which rather defeats the purpose and intention of a transport service for the disabled really.

Is it really so much of an inconvenience to pass a bus by going onto the pavement at the end of a cul de sac where you can be sure there will be no traffic coming in the other direction (which is what makes the manoeuvre stressful and difficult in most built up situations) or to wait for a maximum of 10 minutes for the bus to move. And is it really so inconvenient as to make it appropriate to shout abuse in front of a whole busful of children and make them feel uncomfortable?

Mimi09

We're 2nd house from the end, fortunately it doesn't affect anyone else, and it's not blocking the ladies drive, just makes it a bit awkward as she has to go on the pavement for 15 yards. If the bus parked further up the street it would affect far more people. The bus has been coming for over a year now...I'm hoping this is a one off as I hate conflict and as Nicki says, waiting in the cold/damp with DD and toddler for up to 15 mins will make life that bit more difficult.

adouglasmhor

jojo_2012 wrote: »

I think the bus should find somewhere more appropriate to park instead of blocking her drive it doesn't seem very fair to me.

I think you should spend some time working with people in wheelchairs so you do not feel obliged to make such ignorant statements. She can park somewhere else and walk to her house and move her car later if she does not like driving with one side on the pavement. The disabled child would probably love to be able to walk somewhere else.

victory

jojo_2012 wrote: »

I think the bus should find somewhere more appropriate to park instead of blocking her drive it doesn't seem very fair to me.

Are you disabled? Is this just a confrontational post?

I can't believe anyone would say such a thing, do you find disabled people an inconvenience, do we take too much time up from you that can happily whizz past, do you tut, do you have no understanding of a non abled bodied person?

I could go on but won't, just can't believe it