My family can't find where they put their own heads most days.

Spendless

Thank you Tilly. I did try a bubble bath earlier for that exact reason, but only got luke-warm water. The boiler is due to be serviced shortly. 1 of my problems is that I work school-ish hours of 8.30-3 mon-fri 10 miles away, which is fab for being about for the kids and keeping childcare costs down but allows me little time for anything else. With a husband who works away and o/night, I am restricted in what I do, without having to take younger child with me, and babysitting options due to health issues within the extended family are currently a problem, but I take on-board what you say so shall look at something fitting in somewhere.

The reason it hasn't taken too long to sort this far is because a lot of the suggestions were already partly in place, just under-utilised eg I have had a family organiser for years but just filled in mine and kid related stuff as DH never put his stuff on.

DeeDee74

:p your not on your own my lot are the same!
dd has just txted me from upstairs 2 tell me she's cooking tomorrow :mad: well she ent cause we ent got the stuff,she's known 4 at least 2weeks but hasent told me? i should really say its her fault and let her get into trouble but i wont ,i'l end a writting a letter saying where vegetarians and hope the teacher forgets nxt time thay cook a meat dish
as annoying as it it cause seriously mine do not lift a finger, clothes on floor,beds not made bin over flowing ,u get the picture i just do it cause its easy and if i do it myself i know its done,less drama.

victory

Nice one spendless keep at it and it will work;)

lollipopsarah

Taken me ages to read through this lot - brought lots of memories.
With *teens* only had to remove their t.v's once to get the point!!
My mum once wrote *dust me* with her finger on my piano (it worked) and even stripped my bed
and left the sheets downstairs - to make a point - it worked.
Tough love, hurts mum more thank kids but works in the end (except on hubby's).
Peeps may think me harsh, but life is a b*tch and when I.m not her they will have to cope.
(not speaking about young kids btw)
best wishes and good luck with it all.
xx

Baileys_Babe

Spendless wrote: »

If he gets too many detentions within a time span they progress to being after school ones and though the school is only in the next village, the school buses would be gone and there's no direct public transport link. The walking route whilst fine in summer takes you either down a deserted country lane, a desolate playing field, or close to heavy traffic. As an adult I wouldn't feel totally safe walking them in the dark, which is what it would be at this time of year if he stopped behind, so then I'd be left with the option of either letting him do a walk I wouldn't be comfortable with alone, or picking him up by car, which means taking the 8yo out. It is more than likely DH would be at work. Sometimes you have to make a split second judgement on what works easiest on you and to ask what was wrong with his uniform was the best for me. What I'm wanting help with is him remembering to put it on in the 1st place.

I completely understand your reasons for wanting to prevent your receiving after school detentions when its dark. So could you discuss this with him and say if you need to remind him about his tie to prevent the after school detentions you will be punishing him instead. That way he (hopefully) learns to be more responsible, but his actions are not having negative consequences for other members of the family.

Savvy_Sue

msb5262 wrote: »

I see what you mean but why does everyone expect a mum to do the thinking on behalf of the whole family?

My lot would say that they do NOT expect me to do it, I take it upon myself. However, if I don't, the thinking doesn't get done ...

For example, I have booked the hotels we need for visiting family this Christmas (at bargainous prices, naturally). I will phone the car hire place and find out how much to hire a mahoosive vehicle which will fit the five of us plus luggage and presents in comfort, and I will then compare that price with the cost of putting the boys on the train while we drive our Yaris.

And I will do all that because I want to have some choices, and if the thinking doesn't get one now, there will be no choices. Actually I've probably missed the boat with the car hire already.

Spendless wrote: »

DS doesn't wear a blazer (nor a coat!!) so a tie in pocket won't work.

Well, if your proposed solution fails then what about his trouser pocket, or tying it to his belt loop on his trousers, or looping it through the handle of his school bag? Attached and visible, as it were.

And I know where you're coming from with the not wearing a blazer and coat thing. I was really worried about hypothermia when DS3 was in the 6th form!!!

Spendless wrote: »

Several times all the light were left on upstairs when everyone was downstairs, a couple of times the radio was left on when no-one was in that area of the house and most disgusting I discovered twice the loo hadn't been flushed after use :mad: On each occassion I have asked who the culprit is and they have each denied it (though I do believe Mr S isn't guilty of the loo) but 1 of them has gone and dealt with it.

One of mine has a nasty habit of using more toilet paper than our plumbing can cope with. We all know who it is, so whenever I find the loo on the point of overflowing, I just call him, and he comes. Threats of leaving the plunger in his bed, you see ... :rotfl:

teapackets

victory wrote: »

We do that and the entire family know if it is on the stairs it needs to go up back in its place, if it is washing up it goes and put away, the stairs is the place to put it all and re-allocate:D

My husband fell down the stairs in the dark last night ... he tripped over all the stuff he put on there about two weeks ago :rotfl:

neverdespairgirl

DeeDee74 wrote: »

i should really say its her fault and let her get into trouble but i wont ,i'l end a writting a letter saying where vegetarians and hope the teacher forgets nxt time thay cook a meat dish

I think that's a really bad idea - teaching her to lie to cover up her own mistakes?

rachbc

Now dd has started school we are establishing a 'landing strip' in the hall - basically a designated place were 'stuff' gets put as it comes in or goes on its way out. Everyone will have their own box/ basket/shelf for hat, gloves, keys, book bag, slips/ letter for school etc.

School bags are packed in the eve as i cannot bear flapping for stuff in the morning - and if you haven't got it tough! You only have to send them into school in their socks once to know that put your shoes on now means exactly that!! My son wore 'dirty' (worn once) uniform all last week as he didn't bring it down from his room on friday evening before going to his dad's for me to wash - he knew better than to ask me to do it on sunday evening (though if he'd asked very nicely I might have taught him how to use the machine!)

As they get older encourage them to work out what works for them - its more likely to work if its their own idea

splishsplash

msb5262 wrote: »

I see what you mean but why does everyone expect a mum to do the thinking on behalf of the whole family?

I don't mind rescuing mine once in a blue moon but if they continually forget things without any consequences, they will never learn.

MsB

I'm divorced, but for years I used to have a poster up which said 'Your Lack Of Planning Is Not My Emergency', and any time the ex forgot stuff I used to just point at it. Point being - I'm not his mother.

I am my children's mother though, and so training them to become organized and prepared is part of my job, I think, so I do expect to be able to keep an eye on things and remind them if needed.

Having said all that, it's still a work in progress, and things still get forgotten (by me also ), but we keep on trying.

Spendless, sounds like you're well on the way to helping the children get organized, what a lot you've done already :T.