What can I do - husband expects me to pay for everything

CH27

poorlittlefish wrote: »

Yes, it is my house but both of us consume the gas, electricity etc so surely it's not unreasonable for him to contribute towards the household bills? I earn more, so I pay more towards our joint expenses, but I don't know of anyone in full-time work who lives anywhere for free! With regard to the costs of moving, things like the removal men, new furniture etc will be for both of us, which is why I feel we should both contribute.

CH27 - you're right, he is like a lodger. It's a very unhappy situation that can't go on for much longer and I think this move will make or break us. Financially, it's like living by myself already.

Go & see a solicitor.

elisebutt65

Seems that in your OH's eyes; 'What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine!'

I would steer away from putting everything in a joint pot as he'd just spend it all! Have a joint account for bills with standing orders from your own separate accounts and another account with 2 signatures for savings/emergency money.

As for the new house, if he's still paying for half of everything then unless it's clear what he's paying for; bills, repairs etc, then he'd have a clear claim on half of it, unless you go for the joint tenants in common thing

Sambucus_Nigra

poorlittlefish wrote: »

No, because one month he can earn £100 less than me, another month it might be £500 so that's why everything is apportioned fairly. He has a standing order set up for a basic amount and then he pays me whatever else is needed for that month. It's not the monthly bills that concern me so much because we both contribute to those. It's the unexpected or large upfront costs that I have to fork out for that are the main problem. His attitude seems to be "I don't have to worry about any of that grown-up stuff because she'll pay it all".

poorlittlefish wrote: »

Yes, it is my house but both of us consume the gas, electricity etc so surely it's not unreasonable for him to contribute towards the household bills? I earn more, so I pay more towards our joint expenses, but I don't know of anyone in full-time work who lives anywhere for free! With regard to the costs of moving, things like the removal men, new furniture etc will be for both of us, which is why I feel we should both contribute.

CH27 - you're right, he is like a lodger. It's a very unhappy situation that can't go on for much longer and I think this move will make or break us. Financially, it's like living by myself already.

I don't understand. I said to get a joint account set up for joint expenses and you say that the monthly ones are covered - but later you say that they aren't.

pinkteapot

poorlittlefish wrote: »

No, I had bought my house many years before I met him and had paid off nearly half of it so, given his zero contribution and zero savings, I wouldn't want to risk losing everything I've put in by having the new house/mortgage in joint names. He's never once even suggested having his name added on or having a joint mortgage anyway.

Trouble is... You're married! Whether he is on the deeds and mortgage or not, he will have a claim on the new house if you ever split up. If you're happy with that, there's no problem (i.e. if you see yourselves as together for the long haul). If you want the new house to be "yours", you're going to need some very good legal advice to safeguard yourself in the future and it will probably involve him signing all sorts of agreements.

Read the Owner-Occupiers section here:
http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/your_family/family_index_ew/living_together_and_marriage_legal_differences.htm#Housing

"If you and your partner are divorcing, the long-term right to ownership of your property can be decided during divorce proceedings. The court has the power to transfer property regardless of original ownership."

candygirl

He sounds like a spoilt little boy:mad::mad::mad:I hope you get it all sorted out before you move, or it could be a major financial mistake you're making:(:(

RAS

Please stop this house sale immediately and go and see a solicitor urgently.

Even if you put this new purchase into tenants in common rather than a joint tenancy, I think you are going to get very very hurt because he will walk off and demand 50 per cent of the value of the house.

You need to go to Relate or similiar for counselling on your own or with him and seriously consider why you think this relationship has a future. He is abusing you and you seem to be blind to the fact.

RAS

pinkteapot wrote: »

Trouble is... You're married! Whether he is on the deeds and mortgage or not, he has a claim on the house. If you're happy with that, there's no problem. If you want the new house to be "yours", you're going to need some very good legal advice to safeguard yourself in the future and it will probably involve him signing all sorts of agreements.

Agreed but if she halts things now with the financial history, he might be relatively cheap to buy out. If she moves into the new house, it will cost a lot more even in a year's time.

poorlittlefish

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

I don't understand. I said to get a joint account set up for joint expenses and you say that the monthly ones are covered - but later you say that they aren't.

No, monthly ones are covered. I wrote about no-one getting to live for free in response to someone else's comment, meaning that I think we should both contribute to the household costs we generate (gas, electricity etc) as opposed to me paying for them all because the house is in my name.

DUTR

poorlittlefish wrote: »

Yes, it is my house but both of us consume the gas, electricity etc so surely it's not unreasonable for him to contribute towards the household bills? I earn more, so I pay more towards our joint expenses, but I don't know of anyone in full-time work who lives anywhere for free! With regard to the costs of moving, things like the removal men, new furniture etc will be for both of us, which is why I feel we should both contribute.

CH27 - you're right, he is like a lodger. It's a very unhappy situation that can't go on for much longer and I think this move will make or break us. Financially, it's like living by myself already.

I have had the CH on today, there is just me here, if there were two or three people in the house, the gas bill wouldn't really change, before you get your next place (which I suspect will be joint) then you ought to resolve the finances well before the move, although you say you earn more, you couldbe on £100k whilst he is on £80 (but you get my drift).
But as mentioned earlier, there must be something that attracted you to him over all the other men about

candygirl

RAS wrote: »

Agreed but if she halts things now with the financial history, he might be relatively cheap to buy out. If she moves into the new house, it will cost a lot more even in a year's time.

Yea that's what I was thinking.It's an awful situation to be in:(:(IMO if he wont grow up and pay his way now, there's no way i'd be moving into a bigger place with him:(:(