MODS - please delete thread

MoreOn

Seanymph wrote: »

The OP is protecting no one but the husband by deluding herself and she's not listening girls.

Enough said, there are many here who come across as "anti" men...

Woofie: your typing yet more drivel...

Being on anti-depressants isn't proof that what he told you about her is true. All that is proof of is that he's on anti-depressants.

It isn't proof that he lied either.. It is evidence that someone perhaps a doc is convienced that subscribing the drugs is of benefit to OH. That for some reason something about OH and perhaps his life at a particular time point may have had adverse effects on OH. Of course the question remains, since the extraction of OW from his live is OH getting better...

You can draw you own conclusion from that, but to those who wildly speculate and suggest OP should listen to the drivel of the anti men campaign and who suggest the ability change is gender specific need to be prescribed a stronger dose of sanity...

alias*alibi

MoreOn wrote: »

Enough said, there are many here who come across as "anti" men...

Woofie: your typing yet more drivel... It isn't proof that he lied either.. It is evidence that someone perhaps a doc is convienced that subscribing the drugs is of benefit to OH. That for some reason something about OH and perhaps his life at a particular time point may have had adverse effects on OH. Of course the question remains, since the extraction of OW from his live is OH getting better...

You can draw you own conclusion from that, but to those who wildly speculate and suggest OP should list to the drivel of anti men campaign and who suggest the ability change is gender specific need to be prescribed a stronger dose of sanity...

Yes he is much better now; he has halved his medication since being back with me. Totally ridiculous that someone has suggested he is on anti-depressants just because and not because of the OW. Prior to meeting her he was a very chilled out person and was a model employee at work. It all went downhill after having the misfortune of getting involved with her, she certainly was not a good influence on him at all. She nearly lost him his job too. Like I said last night, I know far more than I am willing to let on and let me just tell you this; she is far from the innocent in all of this. She orchestrated his whole life from the minute I kicked him out with some potentially serious consequences that could had happened.

TBH I don't really care what any of you think; you are all happy to sit behind your keyboard and bash my husband til the cows come home but none of you really know the ins and outs of what happened. You are all sat on your moral high horse judging from the outside thinking you know what you would do in the same situation but I would guarantee it would be far from the truth what you would really do. I can only think that you are picturing yourself as the OW and feeling venomous from her POW left holding the baby instead of objectively looking at how she 'HELPED' wreck mine and my daughters life for a time. In my honest opinion she deserves all the misery she bought on herself; act like dirt then get treated like dirt. I know both of them were to blame, but of course I am going to feel more venom towards the OW as she had no ties to stay with husband unlike my husband had to us. I actually believe she also broke up her ex-husband's previous relationship too so it seems she has no morals whatsoever. I am going to stand by my husband; yes he broke our marriage vows and I know why he felt the need to stray and that has since been addressed.

By the way, he made one hell of a huge gesture this morning to prove that he is serious about making our marriage work so I dont need anymore proof of that.

Thanks to all of you that have posted; you are all entitled to your opinions and most have been taken on board.

clairec79

alias*alibi wrote: »

at one point he felt like taking his own life due to the mess and the situation he found himself living in. No, he hasn't just left the OW because of the violence; that just cemented that he needed to get the hell away from her before he did something stupid and our daughters meltdown is what enforced that we needed to be a family unit again FOR EVERONES SANITY.

For everyones sanity, except yours.

You seem to be very precariously balanced with everything thats gone on (nothing against you I would be too)

Your daughter needs two parents who love her and who are happy/content/sane, and she needs to feel secure. That doesn't automatically mean you have to be together to achieve that.

TBH as an outsider I think what your husband needs is time away from a relationship (at least live in relationship) from either of you - to work out what he wants and to get his head together, so he can be a good father (and husband if that is what both you and he want)

euronorris

It is possible that he is on anti-depressants, because he simply finds the situation/mess too much to handle. Not because of anything the OW did.

It would also make sense that he has improved since moving back into the family home, because he feels that situation is improving.

Not saying that is the case, only he knows for sure, but it is a possibility.

alias*alibi

euronorris wrote: »

It is possible that he is on anti-depressants, because he simply finds the situation/mess too much to handle. Not because of anything the OW did.

It would also make sense that he has improved since moving back into the family home, because he feels that situation is improving.

Not saying that is the case, only he knows for sure, but it is a possibility.

You know what; you have no idea. As I said an outisider looking in. I haven't asked for advice into the whys he is or isn't on medication so why do people need to bring this up as a way of validating the OW postition in all of this. He is on medication because of her violence, the huge realisation of the mistake he made and thinking there was no alternative but to end his own life.

Still, you carry on judging from the outside.

victory

alias*alibi wrote: »

By the way, he made one hell of a huge gesture this morning to prove that he is serious about making our marriage work so I dont need anymore proof of that.

What was the gesture?

alias*alibi

clairec79 wrote: »

For everyones sanity, except yours.

You seem to be very precariously balanced with everything thats gone on (nothing against you I would be too)

Your daughter needs two parents who love her and who are happy/content/sane, and she needs to feel secure. That doesn't automatically mean you have to be together to achieve that.

TBH as an outsider I think what your husband needs is time away from a relationship (at least live in relationship) from either of you - to work out what he wants and to get his head together, so he can be a good father (and husband if that is what both you and he want)

Especially mine!!!!!! I had a month off work due to being severally depressed when I was told about her being pregnant and I am in counselling still because of it all. I took him back for mine, my daughters and his sanity.

euronorris

alias*alibi wrote: »

You know what; you have no idea. As I said an outisider looking in. I haven't asked for advice into the whys he is or isn't on medication so why do people need to bring this up as a way of validating the OW postition in all of this. He is on medication because of her violence, the huge realisation of the mistake he made and thinking there was no alternative but to end his own life.

Still, you carry on judging from the outside.

I know I don't know that. That's why I said that in my post. It's just a possibility.

I do think it is one you should consider as a possibility, simply because your husband has been deceitful in the past.

I didn't bring it up. I responded to your post about it. I am not validating the OW at all, and there is absolutely nothing in my posts which do that.

If you wish to stay with him, then that is your choice, and I wish you luck. Truly.

But I do take issue with the no contact with the other child situation, because the child is innocent. And, from what you have told us, that child has an aggressive, violent mother, and a father who has abandoned her. That child has no one to stick up for them, and look out for their best interests.

I understand that he's having trouble coping with the situation he created, but by abandoning this child, he's condemning it to a life of misery (if everything you and he say about the OW is true). Does that not bother you? I know it's not your child, or your responsibility, but surely an innocent child deserves far better than that?

It's something I feel very, very strongly about. He created that child with her, and regardless of the circumstances of the birth, that child deserves better than to be abanonded and left with an aggressive, violent woman.

newcook

alias*alibi wrote: »

act like dirt then get treated like dirt.

So does this mean that you also think your husband deserves everything he gets too?!

newcook

newcook wrote: »

And are you also happy for your child to visit OW and new baby with your OH?

I see you have also chosen to ignore my question yesterday.