Knowing where your child is

JC9297

doodoot wrote: »

Regardless of who it is taking my boys out - they're 10 and 13 - I want to know where they're going.

I have sole parental responsibility and need to know.

What if my MIL takes my kids out somewhere, doesn't tell me where and doesn't take her mobile with her (which she never does in case she loses it!).

I have a car crash or my hubby goes into a diabetic coma - this almost happened last week.

How the hell am I supposed to tell the appropriate people where to go to get my boys?

Or even what time they are due back if MIL hasn't told me?

I had this problem with my XOH - he had fortnightly access and would lie about where he was taking the boys, and got them to lie too.

He would say they were going to his mum's, but he was taking them to his new house that he shared with his new girlfriend and her 2 girls.

When my solicitor told him to disclose his address for security reasons - I didn't mind them going there at all - he told us all to stick it and hasn't seen them since...that was over 2 years ago.

But there comes a time when your kids go out with friends (usually before 13) and they don't know exactly where they'll be at any particular time , they'll probably have a mobile but may not answer - either because they don't hear it/it ran out of charge or whatever. Then you are trusting teenagers to keep themselves safe rather than an experienced,loving grandparent:eek:

MarilynMonroe_2

She's already said the MIL has lied before, so althoughs he might be an experienced loving grandparent she's also lied to the OP so there is history.

Janepig

MarilynMonroe wrote: »

She's already said the MIL has lied before, so althoughs he might be an experienced loving grandparent she's also lied to the OP so there is history.

In which case the OP may wish to reconsider allowing her precious cargo to be looked after by such a person.

Jx

JC9297

MarilynMonroe wrote: »

She's already said the MIL has lied before, so althoughs he might be an experienced loving grandparent she's also lied to the OP so there is history.

My reply was directed at the poster I quoted rather than the OP.

MarilynMonroe_2

^ Sounds a like a simple ''I am taking them to...'' would surfice.

Btw someone mentioned ear piercing on page one I think it was, that's what happened on emmerdale (not that I watch such tripe:o)

Spendless

JC9297 wrote: »

But there comes a time when your kids go out with friends (usually before 13) and they don't know exactly where they'll be at any particular time , they'll probably have a mobile but may not answer - either because they don't hear it/it ran out of charge or whatever. Then you are trusting teenagers to keep themselves safe rather than an experienced,loving grandparent:eek:

and not to do stupid things. Today one of my son's 11yo friends has shaved the head of another 11yo friend. :eek:. Makes the days of wondering whether tot is at 'willow wood park' rather than 'strawberry field park' a doodle.

shellsuit

3v3 wrote: »

So, the question begs to be asked: do you not trust your mother or MIL? Do you truly think they have no comprehension of "emergency" issues? Bare in mind that the likelihood is they were parents who grew up in the shadow of the Moors Murders

Wow! Do you think that may well be a reflection on your insecurities rather than any (presumed) insecurities of your mother/MIL?

I have to confess, I am rather stunned by "mothers" on here who, without real tangible evidence on the contrary, genuinely question the abilities, safety and security issues of their offspring going out with a G/parent, if the exact whereabouts of the outing are not explicit!!!! I could understand it if it were a teenage babysitter from down the road; I could understand it if it were a "new" boyfriend ... but we're talking about a child's grandparent!!!!????

Should grandparents be CIB checked then? Would *that* make you feel more comfortable? Girls! *You* chose the father of your children: if you are not confident in the abilities of their mothers ... perhaps you should have thought about that before having their children????

Maybe, you should fast forward a generation and ask yourselves how you would feel if you wanted to take your G/C out for the day (not yet sure where) and you are put through the 3rd degree by your DIL? There is a huge issue of trust going on here!

Thankfully, statistics show that G/parents who abduct/abuse/ill-treat/murder their grandchildren are very, very few and far between!! More often than not it is the parents, or step-parents or babysitters. But, hey, let's not let that influence you when you are speaking about a child's G/Parent (who clearly may not have any idea what they intend to do with the children, only that they want to spend time with them, and therefore must be a cause of concern simply because they cannot be pinned down to a location at a given time!) ????

Since when did G/parents become such a cause for concern for welfare? I feel shocked, and a bit disturbed to be honest, at how little confidence women give their In-laws (yet, happily sleep with the in-laws sons and have their children!).

You are talking about the child's GRANDPARENTS! Any mistakes they have made, they made with their sons/daughters and are least likely t make with their G/children! (Hey, those mistakes are *yours* to make ). Grandparents are the most likely to value the circle of life and are the most likely not to want to repeat any negative history you base your judgements on.

So what if they want quality time with their grandchild but can't be pinned down to a time/place? Their problem? Or, does it merely reflect on the mothers of today who have no trust/faith/self opinionated?

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

What on earth???

So now women should look at their potential in laws, to see if they are decent enough people to be good Grandparents, before you even think about having a baby with their son?

MarilynMonroe_2

If we looked to the mother in laws as to whether or not to have children I fear the human race might die out

QuackQuackOops

Grandma is hardly going to run off with them both is she?
Let her get on with it because it doesnt make any difference does it if you trust her?
She could say "We are going to the zoo" and get there and it be closed and go somewhere else. Is she supposed to stop the car, find a phonebox and call you to let you know?

QuackQuackOops

doodoot wrote: »

Regardless of who it is taking my boys out - they're 10 and 13 - I want to know where they're going.

I have sole parental responsibility and need to know.

What if my MIL takes my kids out somewhere, doesn't tell me where and doesn't take her mobile with her (which she never does in case she loses it!).

I have a car crash or my hubby goes into a diabetic coma - this almost happened last week.

How the hell am I supposed to tell the appropriate people where to go to get my boys?

Or even what time they are due back if MIL hasn't told me?

I had this problem with my XOH - he had fortnightly access and would lie about where he was taking the boys, and got them to lie too.

He would say they were going to his mum's, but he was taking them to his new house that he shared with his new girlfriend and her 2 girls.

When my solicitor told him to disclose his address for security reasons - I didn't mind them going there at all - he told us all to stick it and hasn't seen them since...that was over 2 years ago.

If any of those things happened, then noone would need to go and "get your boys" as they would be with their Grandma and Grandma would be just as concerned and worried as you.

What do all you mums do about the Grandmas and Grandads who dont have mobile phones and they take the kids out?
Do you all sit at home worrying yourselves stupid not knowing where they are or what they are doing?