DD wore my perfume!

jamespir

Kaz2904 wrote: »

Oh jojo, she got a letter today inviting her to join guides. My kids love opening letters addressed to them . I open DH's mail because he never gets around to it. If it's a handwritten letter I leave it though. Maybe because it looks more personal? IDK.

ETA: I don't want to be an "It's mine it's mine" person and have everything locked away. I can't bear the thought of having to put up locks everywhere. She is old enough to be able to respect personal belongings. I respect her stuff she can respect mine. I knock before entering her room (mainly so I don't knock her out with the door as she's generally posing in front of her mirror!).

ETA (again): DS is 2 years younger and he understands it. He always asks DD if he can borrow her DS or any of her games. She always asks him too. It's my stuff she doesn't think about asking to use. I suppose DH's aftershave doesn't have the same appeal!

just start worrying if he asks to borrow her clothes lol:rotfl:

dibaby

My dd loves to dress up and use my make up and perfume, i love dolling ourselves up together. I don't have much money to spend on things so the general rule is don't touch mammy's things unless i'm there she's younger than your dd and things tend to get messy! Having said that if i had asked her to go to my room to dry her hair i would expect curiousity would get the better of her so i keep things i dont want he touching out of sight. Don't cancel her party have a chat with her about it and if she does it again take further action.

Sometimes in the heat of the moment things can seem a larger problem. I think taking further action is OTT. When she gets up explain why this was an issue and hug her. She must feel as awful as you do.

Hopefully she will learn from it, every household needs different rules, and we cant get it right all the time.

neverdespairgirl

Rockporkchop wrote: »

It's not often I am lost for words but I am absolutely gobsmacked about how you are over reacting to this.

She is a nine year old girl and has had a squirt of your perfume, it's hardly the crime of the century.

I think the lying about it is pretty serious, too, though.

neverdespairgirl

Nicki wrote: »

As a child I was allowed in every room in the house, and to use every mirror and piece of furniture, as are my children. And my mum would not have given it a second thought if I tried a squirt of her perfume or a dab of her lipstick, and nor would I if my DD tried it for me.

You have some strange ideas....

I don't think they are strange at all. My parents had similar rules - there was general stuff, such as shampoo, conditioner, bath bubbles, etc, and we weren't supposed to use anyone else's special stuff without asking.

We also didn't spend time in our parents' room unless they were there.

kiss_me_now9

At least she didn't break it...

When my sister was about 5 my mum gave her an original Cindy doll that was in pristine condition and she'd had since she was a kid. She'd adored and looked after this doll and she told us alongside this story of the Christmas she received it - it was expensive at the time and she'd waited so long for it. My sister played with it for a minute and then ripped it's head off.

jamespir

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

I think the lying about it is pretty serious, too, though.

is it lying or just fibbing we all fibbed as children

its a reaction if someone says to you do you do this most of the time we say no (if they say it in angry tone

but if they say did you do this (in a happy tone we most likely to say yes) both could be deemed as lying

Zara77

hi
I don't really have that much to add but to say that is my fav perfume. It goes to half price every Harrods sale-so you could treat yourself or your child.
When we were kids we must have all done things that we regret-give her another chance i'm sure she must feel bad.

mandi

At the end of the day Kaz It was nothing

In a few years time instead of aspiring to you she will be calling you worse than !!!! ..:) Her hormones will be all over the place & the Vera Lang episode will really be a dim & distant memory .

Enjoy her innocence now because once she starts secondary school everything changes .:)

renegade

January20 wrote: »

Actually, most posters are correct she is only 9, but if at 9 she is unable to listen to you and do as you ask/ expect then you have to take action because otherwise you will find yourself with a 12, then 16 yo etc who will think that she can do as she pleases and disregard your wishes.

Although, I do agree that cancelling her party is ott, I think she needs to understand that she cannot take what doesn't belong to her. I also think that for you it's the fact she didn't ask (I can't understand how other posters can't see this!) and then lied about it (showing she knew she had done wrong) that is the problem. You have already spoken to her on numerous occasions, to no avail and I think you just need to give her a taste of her own medicine.

OP, I would also ignore the people who say that your views/ upbringing are weird. They're not. You have your own set of principles and you are trying to bring up your daughter to be respectful of other people and their belongings. Can't see what is weird about that and I think there is a touch a ganging up on you because a mob mentally has developed on this thread. Ignore it!

I agree with this post,I know from experience that unless you nip it in the bud now, it will lead to bigger more serious problems.

Sambucus_Nigra

Now that you have calmed down a little....

I would sit her down tonight and discuss with her why you were annoyed [not at the perfume, but at the lie] and reason with her on the ins and outs of lying to you. Get her to suggest a suitable punishment and draw the line under this.

Together, set out some rules of engagement, for the forthcoming few years. Rules for you as well as her. Just make sure you don't agree to things that you know you won't keep! Bring your son into this and draw them up as house rules for all of you, then you have everyone who has signed and agreed them up front. Display them on a notice board somewhere to remind you all what you agreed to.

And, along with the rules, there is an agreed punishment regime attached. If either go beyond this, then all 'stuff' removed from room and earnt back over time.