DD wore my perfume!

Kaz2904

Just sent DD (10 next month) up to my bedroom to blow dry her hair. She has come downstairs reeking of my favourite perfume (Vera wang princess). I only have one bottle of perfume and it's quite expensive so I don't spray much. She is very obviously wearing it, all of us can smell it in the air without even getting close to her.
She is denying all knowledge and saying that she's put on some of her body spray (one I gave to her because I thought she'd like it). I'm not a fool and I know she's lying. I've sent her to bed but I want to punish her.
It's not because she has my perfume on more about the fact that she didn't ask. If she had asked and we were going somewhere special, I might have let her have a squirt but she didn't ask and she's going to bed now and school tomorrow. She's invaded my personal items whilst I was letting her use my hairdryer and my mirror.
When I was a child, we all used to think we were so grown up being allowed to use the grown ups bedrooms and their mirror and their hairdryers to do our hair. We would never ever have dreamed about taking anything of their personal stuff. In fact I still remember breaking my Aunties lipstick when I was about 4. She was so upset that it has stayed with me and I never touched her stuff again unless she was there and we were poking through the wardrobe or the jewellery box.

My DD has no respect for my belongings despite me constantly telling her that these things are mine NOT hers. The kids get way more than us adults do and they do all of their activities too.

What is a suitable punishment for her to show her I really do mean business and that rummaging in my stuff and using my personal belongings is not allowed? Do I go as far as cancelling the birthday party she is going to on Sunday?

I have done all the explaining to her many many times about how hurtful it is and how she wouldn't like it if someone came and took something of hers without asking. Hence the reason I gave her her own body sprays so she could pretend at perfume. She knows what she does is wrong and I want it stopped before she starts thinking it's ok to take my clothes too (she's not far off my height tbh :eek:).

Kay_Peel

You've scolded her and sent her to bed - that's her punishment.

I would approach the subject again and emphasise the off-limits items when you are not so upset.

Rockporkchop

It's not often I am lost for words but I am absolutely gobsmacked about how you are over reacting to this.

She is a nine year old girl and has had a squirt of your perfume, it's hardly the crime of the century. Sending her to bed was more than punishment enough - for goodness sake stop there. All this talk of invading your personal items, it's ridiculous and sounds so childish. And so what if your DD wants to try on your clothes? Surely all little girls want to be like their mums as they are growing up. My girls are always trying on my shoes, jewellery, lipsticks etc. And I don't care - I get pleasure from their fun and enjoyment because they are more important to me than all the material possessions in the world. If I didn't want something touched I would store it out of reach anyway.

Why don't you post this on Mumsnet AIBU and see what response you get on there?

ali-t

OP, if your daughter is around the same height as you why don't you wear her favourite item(s) of clothing to pick her up from school tomorrow? Seeing you dressed up in her clothes is likely to embarrass her to the point she will never want to borrow your perfume again.

Toothfairy4

Rockporkchop wrote: »

It's not often I am lost for words but I am absolutely gobsmacked about how you are over reacting to this.

She is a nine year old girl and has had a squirt of your perfume, it's hardly the crime of the century. Sending her to bed was more than punishment enough - for goodness sake stop there. All this talk of invading your personal items, it's ridiculous and sounds so childish. And so what if your DD wants to try on your clothes? Surely all little girls want to be like their mums as they are growing up. My girls are always trying on my shoes, jewellery, lipsticks etc. And I don't care - I get pleasure from their fun and enjoyment because they are more important to me than all the material possessions in the world. If I didn't want something touched I would store it out of reach anyway.

Was just about to post but the above sums it up, your waaaaay over-reacting! I'd hate to see how you'd react if she actually did something properly naughty...

peachyprice

Kaz2904 wrote: »

Do I go as far as cancelling the birthday party she is going to on Sunday?

Seriously? You'd cancel her party for having a squirt of perfume?

vroombroom

omg you're going to cancel her going to a birthday party cos she sprayed some of your perfume? get a grip, seriously. She's a little girl doing what little girls do!

mummyoftwomonkeys

I agree with the last reply I think sending her to bed early and giving her a telling off is enough she will know what she did was wrong. We can sometimes get a little carried away, I sent my 4 year old son to his room tonight because he spilled his milkshake all over the carpet it was of course an accident but hes always doing it and I have had a bad week (my dog had to be put to sleep on Saturday) I know I shouldn't take it out on him but the thought of getting the carpet shampooer out and setting it up seemed a huge deal at the time.

belfastgirl23

Hmm well I'm inclined to disagree with the suggestion you're overreacting. If you told your daughter specifically that she wasn't allowed to meddle in your things and she did so anyway then whatever the rights and wrongs she was disobeying a direct order. And from that POV if you're going to be consistent then you do need to punish her. I also agree with the poster who says it would be good to sit her down calmly tomorrow and explain to her why. And I did like the mischevious suggestion to dress in something of hers to horrify her

But I guess I do think that the punishment you've given her, plus the talking to and in true supernanny style asking for an apology, should cover it.

shegirl

I very much doubt she had to rummage through your things to get it!I'd imagine it was right by your mirror,if not nearby on display!!

You are seriously overreacting.She had a squirt of your perfume -big deal!

You should calm yourself down.She hasn't invaded anything,she was curious or enjoying herself and had a little squirt for gods sake.Don't punish the girl any more than you already have.

Spendless

Kaz2904 wrote: »

In fact I still remember breaking my Aunties lipstick when I was about 4. She was so upset that it has stayed with me and I never touched her stuff again unless she was there and we were poking through the wardrobe or the jewellery box.

Quite possibly, your Auntie's (OTT?)reaction to a 4yo about a broken lipstick has affected how you feel since it's stopped with you, and affects how you feel about your DD using stuff. I wouldn't stop her going to the party, but I would stop her using my bedroom if she won't ask before using your items.