DD wore my perfume!

jakes-mum

Kaz2904 wrote: »

Oh ouch, served you right . Twice though- ooh, harsh!
I wish I could get some of her stuff onto ebay and gone. Unfortunately, most of our family and friends seem to abide by the "more is more" philosophy to life and will spend the same amount of money on piles of tosh rather than buying just one nice thing. DD then won't get rid of this toot "Because it's precious".
Gah, Wail!

Yes, it was so painful I still vividly remember it, and my mother words of wisdom, which were . . . . keep crying it will wash it out :rotfl:

Her other pearl of wisdom when we were a bit to attached to various items that usually never saw the light of day but were our favourite things when the bin bags came out was 'its amazing what gets lost up the hoover when you lot are out of the room!' :rotfl:

alex21

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

Hmm well I'm inclined to disagree with the suggestion you're overreacting. If you told your daughter specifically that she wasn't allowed to meddle in your things and she did so anyway then whatever the rights and wrongs she was disobeying a direct order. And from that POV if you're going to be consistent then you do need to punish her. I also agree with the poster who says it would be good to sit her down calmly tomorrow and explain to her why. And I did like the mischevious suggestion to dress in something of hers to horrify her

But I guess I do think that the punishment you've given her, plus the talking to and in true supernanny style asking for an apology, should cover it.

A direct order? Is she in the army then? She should be court martialled perhaps!! Seriously, she has had enough of a punishment and you should definitely not be planning any more punishments as you are clearly quite het up. If you threaten something now and then calm down and have to back down she will be really confused. Both of you should sleep on this and I'm sure you will feel differently in the morning.:)

i.like.cats

Ada_Doom wrote: »

Go easy on her, bet she feels terrible.

Bet she doesn't. Bet she was sat up there in her room feeling mutinous and resentul and thinking to herself how unfair it all is Why? Cause she's nine! Children are sucking black holes of WANT WANT WANT, but y'know, that's pretty normal. It's not that she's being intentionally disrespectful of your possessions, or deliberately stealing, it's just that she's being completely thoughtless in the way that many children are. It was quite obvious and totally predictable that you'd smell it on her, and yet it won't have occurred to her for a instant that she would be found out. When she was found out, and challenged, she falls back on the "Wasn't me" position that, again, most children adopt instinctively as a defensive position that once taken, they absolutely will not be shifted from.

And when you were a child were you really so thoughtful of other people's possessions as you claim?

Kaz2904 wrote: »

We would never ever have dreamed about taking anything of their personal stuff. In fact I still remember breaking my Aunties lipstick when I was about 4.

*cough*

EDIT: editing to add that i'd be quite annoyed too if someone used my stuff and then lied about it - but children lying isn't equal to adult lying. And locks can be great things.

Lotus-eater

Btw, I think sending a child to their bedroom isn't much of a punishment. It never was to me and my DD didn't mind at all. Why should she, all her her toys are up there.
So I punish her in other ways now.

166million

Aimless wrote: »

I wouldn't ban the party as a punishment, but I do see where you're coming from. Some people may think it severe, but my teenager has been bought up not to take anything from the kitchen without asking, not even a biscuit. On a tight budget, the last thing I need is to find first thing that all the lunch stuff is gone, and have to find cash for a school dinner! It has always been the rule, and has never caused a problem. In the same way, you made a rule, and she should keep it.

Maybe sit down with her later, calmly remind her of the rule, and ask her how she thinks you can make her remember. Tell her you really don't want to give more severe punishments, but she has to try to think before she touches your things?

When I was at uni, the woman i rented a room from went into my room and found half a packet of biscuits that I'd bought, and left in my room for snacking. She accused me of 'sneaking biscuits' and said 'i was worse than the children'.:eek:

ab7

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

Glad it's sorted Kaz and I for one didn't think you were over reacting.

As usual I can't believe the nit picking going on via this thread though. Lots of people basically dismissing the issue of a parent unhappy about being lied to and having boundaries ignored and yet dissecting every turn of phrase the OP has made.

agreed completely :T

I`ve got three girls - 19, 10 and 11 and would also be fuming if they'd have used that amount of my stella macartney!!
Oldest DD is the worst for pinching a "loan" of my make-up/tweezers but it is mostly with my permission, and the younger ones know they aren't meant to rake through my stuff - it happens but they do get a huge row for it.

I'll be probably be shot down for this suggestion too but if it had've been me and the fact she wasnt respecting the boundaries despite your guidance I'd have made her buy me out of her pocket money or "sell" some of her stuff to replace mine and help her realise the value. (wouldnt need to be as expensive as vera wang but good enough to make the point) kids have personal responsibilities too Just a thought :cool:.
My 10 years old split her juice on my 2mth old netbook and didnt tell me. Its knackered the keyboard. So guess who is paying for a usb keyboard? Thats our compromise on her not having to pay for it to be fully fixed due to her age and she initially denied it too. When oldest dd thought it was ok to put her uniform in the washing on its own and use half a bottle of liquid to do two items 5 times in the week despite me telling her not to I charged her £5 guess I'm a terrible mum :rotfl:

Fuzzy_Duck

I can understand being angry that she keeps using your stuff without asking but if it helps any I doubt she realised it was expensive, let alone realised how much it would upset you. In these situations it's probably best to give yourself time to calm down, and rather than being angry tell them why you're upset, and focus more on conveying your disappointment rather than your anger. I can understand it all coming to a head after various similar incidents, but kids tend to forget their previous misdemeanors and may not understand the seemingly extreme reaction they get.

I've found this thread quite interesting as I've always helped myself to my mum's stuff! As a child I smeared one of her lipsticks on one of my toys (don't remember her reaction to that one) and another time I put blush on two expensive dolls, one belonging to my mother and one I'd whinged for. She was mad then, and the dolls were put somewhere high up and hidden to stop me messing with them.

Personally I'd find hiding stuff the easiest solution. Keep the cheap stuff you're not fussed about out, and hide anything of value. My mum keeps everything out, and whilst I certainly wouldn't go through her drawers I've never seen the wrong in helping myself to a few of her toiletries. She doesn't mind what I use (in fact she postively encourages me to try out her products) although I do make sure I only use her cheaper products and leave her more expensive stuff alone.

This thread has reminded me of a time where I stayed over at my boyfriend's parent's house and discovered I'd forgotten my make up wipes. I really didn't want to sleep in my makeup, and water would have never got it off, so I had to use his mum's stuff (I would have asked but she was in bed by that point). I looked around and couldn't find any cheap bog-standard wipes, so I used a bit of her expensive stuff and hoped very much she wouldn't notice. The very next morning the expensive stuff was gone and had been replaced by some ordinary make up remover wipes

I felt quite bad about it, but I thought it was a much nicer way of making a point than bringing it up in conversation!

esmerelda98

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Btw, I think sending a child to their bedroom isn't much of a punishment. It never was to me and my DD didn't mind at all. Why should she, all her her toys are up there.
So I punish her in other ways now.

The OP posted at 9.16pm and the incident had just occurred. It was probably roundabout her daughter's bedtime anyway, which is partly why, I think, she wanted to take further action.

Kaz2904

esmerelda98 wrote: »

The OP posted at 9.16pm and the incident had just occurred. It was probably roundabout her daughter's bedtime anyway, which is partly why, I think, she wanted to take further action.

You're the only person who has noticed that! Despite me pointing it out in a later post .

Mrs_Optimist

OP I agree that the lying was the worst thing about the incident. Your inital post didn't really explain that, hence the heated debate that arose. However once you explained it further I could totally sympathise. My DD is 13 and we have had talks about her using my very expensive clinique foundation to go to school, we compromised by buying her some cheaper foundation that she could use as her own. I think the lying is something that should be cracked down on , it is little lies at present but if you let them go unpunished they grown into bigger lies. And I would take no notice of the nit pickers and word twisters that have posted on here either.