DD wore my perfume!

choccybikkie_2

First off you say your dh didn't have anyone to 'nick' stuff off. Your dd didn't nick your perfume? She tried a spray probably because she looks up to you.Your dh is right, you don't need to do anything else, you have told her not to do it again told her not to lie, give her a chance to NOT do it again. If she does,then she's punished. Seriously though, everybody has lied in their lives, it's a part of life, it's not nice but also sometimes it's how we learn diplomacy. She is learning. Oh and the only way we can encourage the truth is through respect, if they are respected themselves,they will have enough respect to understand parents will be dissapointed to have been told a lie and have the courage to be honest. But we learn from mistakes!

choccybikkie_2

Glad you're now happy it's sorted!

jakes-mum

Im glad you've got it sorted kaz your thread did remind me of my mothers dressing table and the lure of her perfume bottle. I was a bit younger than your DD and I when I decided to 'sample' some of mummys special perfume I accidently sprayed it in my own eyes. Oh did I cry, my mother ran in and cuddled me and decided that the pain of having perfume in my eyes was punishment enough. I will say though, it didn't stop me doing exactly the same thing a few months later :rotfl: obv I need a lesson twice to learn it :rotfl:

With regards to her mountain of stuff, can you not go through it all and ebay the stuff she just doesnt use and chuck the money in her bank? I do this with DS and DD. More DS as he was the first child and grandchild so always got mountains of stuff from us, friends, relatives etc. I now have a rule if it isnt played with in 6 months its on ebay or down the charity shop. They both have 'stuff' but their rooms aren't overflowing with carp

Kaz2904

choccybikkie wrote: »

First off you say your dh didn't have anyone to 'nick' stuff off. Your dd didn't nick your perfume?

Sigh. Really fed up of the way my words have been twisted and taken out of context.

It's not like she borrowed it is it for heavens sake! She can't put it back. To take something from another person without permission or consent is theft. Essentially that is what she did.

Having said that, I may say to them "can I pinch a sweet?" if they have a packet.
Nicking, pinching, thieving, etc. All different ways of describing taking something without the owners consent. Some items more serious than others.
If I was to walk into a jewellers tomorrow and take a diamond ring from the window (just to wear because I admire them), would that be ok? I would return it in the same condition. No, it wouldn't would it.

Kaz2904

jakes-mum wrote: »

Im glad you've got it sorted kaz your thread did remind me of my mothers dressing table and the lure of her perfume bottle. I was a bit younger than your DD and I when I decided to 'sample' some of mummys special perfume I accidently sprayed it in my own eyes. Oh did I cry, my mother ran in and cuddled me and decided that the pain of having perfume in my eyes was punishment enough. I will say though, it didn't stop me doing exactly the same thing a few months later :rotfl: obv I need a lesson twice to learn it :rotfl:

With regards to her mountain of stuff, can you not go through it all and ebay the stuff she just doesnt use and chuck the money in her bank? I do this with DS and DD. More DS as he was the first child and grandchild so always got mountains of stuff from us, friends, relatives etc. I now have a rule if it isnt played with in 6 months its on ebay or down the charity shop. They both have 'stuff' but their rooms aren't overflowing with carp

Oh ouch, served you right . Twice though- ooh, harsh!
I wish I could get some of her stuff onto ebay and gone. Unfortunately, most of our family and friends seem to abide by the "more is more" philosophy to life and will spend the same amount of money on piles of tosh rather than buying just one nice thing. DD then won't get rid of this toot "Because it's precious".
Gah, Wail!

January20

Mojisola wrote: »

Maybe this would be true of a toddler - but a 9 year old should be able to understand the value of things and that she should respect her own and other people's possessions.

I agree with this, but I think it is a problem with modern children who (as the OP pointed out about her own dd) are given so much stuff for birthdays and Christmas, that it has no value at all. For instance when I was a kid, I had ONE Barbie and I loved it and looked after it for such a long time. By the age of 7 or 8, my dd had 14 barbies! I remember a specific birthday when I asked for a doll and was allowed to choose it myself. It's so clear in my memory and it's all I got for that birthday. My dd has always been inundated with presents for her birthday.

Although my dd knows better than the OP's dd (and at 18 she really ought to lol), I find the same lack of care for things from her and it is completely at odds with my own behaviour. She seems to hoard things that she doesn't really care about but I only have a few that mean a lot to me.

choccybikkie_2

Kaz2904 wrote: »

Sigh. Really fed up of the way my words have been twisted and taken out of context.

It's not like she borrowed it is it for heavens sake! She can't put it back. To take something from another person without permission or consent is theft. Essentially that is what she did.

Having said that, I may say to them "can I pinch a sweet?" if they have a packet.
Nicking, pinching, thieving, etc. All different ways of describing taking something without the owners consent. Some items more serious than others.
If I was to walk into a jewellers tomorrow and take a diamond ring from the window (just to wear because I admire them), would that be ok? I would return it in the same condition. No, it wouldn't would it.[/QUOTE


No it would not be ok. The 2 cases are not even comparable, a diamond ring and a squirt of your own mothers perfume!
Doesn't mean she's going to turn into a thief. That was my piont, feel like you were blowing a small learning curve out of proportion!

Kaz2904

choccybikkie wrote: »

No it would not be ok. The 2 cases are not even comparable, a diamond ring and a squirt of your own mothers perfume!
Doesn't mean she's going to turn into a thief. That was my piont, feel like you were blowing a small learning curve out of proportion!

It's a learning curve because you use a situation as it arises to emphasise precisely why you don't behave like this. If it's not dealt with then there is no learning thus no curve. If she is not taught right from wrong then she could well turn into a thief albeit not understanding what is the issue and why people get so upset with her taking their stuff.
Look at all the looting done by the rioters. Plenty of people went out grabbing stuff who had not done it before. We need to teach right from wrong now.

Bitsy_Beans

Glad it's sorted Kaz and I for one didn't think you were over reacting.

As usual I can't believe the nit picking going on via this thread though. Lots of people basically dismissing the issue of a parent unhappy about being lied to and having boundaries ignored and yet dissecting every turn of phrase the OP has made.

Blue_Monkey

Glad all is ok now Kaz

I wonder what makes one person tidy and another messy - same with respect. My OH is very careful with his belongings and has definitely taught me a thing or two, whereas I'm more messy and haphazard. I think back to being a kid where we had bits of board games missing and broken stuff all over. OH treasures absolutely everything, even now he keeps original packaging and reallly looks after stuff. Perhaps it boils down to us being more spoilt than OH was so he just appreciated what he had more. Anyway - going off topic now...