huge row with husband over leaving wedding early

victory

Person_one wrote: »

Erm, what? I don't understand!

Sorry, what I mean is that the headache if genuine would have disappeared today rather than the attention seeking because she got what she wanted but now has even bigger headache because she effectively ruined her OH best man wedding and he feels bad and making her feel bad.... it could have been avoided.

Larry22

huge row with husband over leaving wedding early

I really can't believe you are both making such a commotion over such a trivial thing! it's over now you both need to grow up & kiss & make up, enjoy the rest of your hols, why let 1 night upset the rest of your wk/2 wks?

balletshoes

Person_one wrote: »

In my opinion, at 1am, even if she'd just said she was exhausted and couldn't keep her eyes open for another hour, or her feet hurt because of her wedding outfit shoes, she should be able to graciously leave without getting a load of abuse from her husband for it. She's probably been 'celebrating' for at least 12 hours by then, she's done her duty and she isn't preventing her husband from doing his.

I totally agree with this post, and really don't understand why there would be a big row over it. I don't take paracetamol to weddings - but maybe I should start doing so!

poet123

Person_one wrote: »

I get migraines too, not really sure why that's relevant.

Paracetamol is great, but its not a cure-all. I've taken it several times where its barely made a difference. This is assuming she even had any with her.

In my opinion, at 1am, even if she'd just said she was exhausted and couldn't keep her eyes open for another hour, or her feet hurt because of her wedding outfit shoes, she should be able to graciously leave without getting a load of abuse from her husband for it. She's probably been 'celebrating' for at least 12 hours by then, she's done her duty and she isn't preventing her husband from doing his.

I wonder what the responses would have been if the genders were reversed...

I mentioned Migraine because that is a different and more serious type of headache. If paracetamol don't make a difference there is usually an underlying cause, it is not a simple headache. As for not having any, I am sure that someone would have had some, but the OP doesn't mention taking any or asking for any, which is what most people would do first if they really wanted to stay.

I suspect the Op had had enough and was seeking to escape, and her OH knew that perfectly well and was not best pleased. If the boot was on the other foot I would have said the same thing.

My take on this is that it is a one off family event and sometimes you do have to just get on with it and not be a whinger. Being tired is such a pathetic excuse for a one off event, seriously, who couldn't (if they really wanted to) grin and bear it for such an event? Regular social functions during a normal working week are entirely different to a long awaited family event abroad.

balletshoes

Hang on though - how long would the OP have had to "grin and bear it" - it was already 1am when she had already been grinning and bearing it for a couple of hours, what if the wedding had gone on til 6 in the morning? I for one would have been asleep on my feet (or more likely on a table) by that time - so no grinning would have been going on, headache or not!

I still don't see why her leaving at 1am, for any reason, would be spoiling the wedding - for anyone, including her OH, who could have stayed. I don't buy that cultural difference stuff either - just because one Greek man (if Athina's OH is Greek) would behave in one way, doesn't mean they all should, or do. Its up to both partners to agree and decide how much each others cultures will sway their lives together.

mrcow

So he thinks you "ruined the wedding" for him?

You stuck some tissue in your ears and sat outside for a bit and asked people if they'd go back with you at 1am. What else? Unless you spent the rest of the day with a miserable look on your face or passing miserable comments, I can't see how you would have "ruined" it. If you were being relatively normal up to that point, then 1am is a fair time to leave anywhere (loud or not).

If on the other hand you were being a miserable sod for the entire day, then I get his point. We've only got your version of events post 1am. What would his version of events be? Be honest, and then you'll get your answer as to whether he's being unreasonable or not (no one else can really comment as we don't have the full picture).

FBaby

poet123 wrote: »

My take on this is that it is a one off family event and sometimes you do have to just get on with it and not be a whinger.

Did OP say it was family? She refers to hubby best friend? For all we know, maybe she didn't know anyone there? Maybe she didn't get along with the party? Would she should make such an effort for someone who is her hubby's best friend? Did the 'best friend' actually care?

Person_one

poet123 wrote: »

I mentioned Migraine because that is a different and more serious type of headache. If paracetamol don't make a difference there is usually an underlying cause, it is not a simple headache.

I'm pretty sure all headaches have an underlying cause.

Also, a migraine is not a 'type of headache' at all, the headache is a symptom. There are some types of headaches that can actually cause worse pain than the ones associated with migraine.

That's irrelevant anyway though, OP was in pain, struggling, wanted to leave a wedding at a perfectly reasonable time (most of the weddings I've been to are done and dusted by midnight anyway) but got berated for it. Not on.

Birdy12

Athina, has your OH said anything to you this morning about it?

As someone said earlier, the drink can loosen the tongue somewhat...

arbroath_lass

I'm intrigued as to what sort of duties a best man has at 1am. I will admit it's a long time since I've been to a wedding but surely his duties end after the first dance with the chief bridesmaid?

That said I feel it is a bit unfair to have a go at the op over the tissue paper and sitting outside. She was only doing what she felt would get her through the night.

BTW I usually take earplugs out with me. Not because I don't enjoy the music but because I detest the ringing in my ears for days afterwards. I will often sit outside to get some air/peace too but my husband has never accused me of spoiling an evening!

OP from what I've read I think your husband was a prat but I would've just asked someone else to order me a taxi and gone.