Would you lend your son money late pay day

poet123

victory wrote: »

I see what you mean that was a no because of his attitude, a no because of the way he spoke, a no because he was driving everyone mental so there were the no's.

You are right, I am or OH is going to see he gets the money:D

I don't think you will regret it, but if you don't give it you probably will....years down the line when they bring it up!!;)

fluffnutter

pinkpig08 wrote: »

I would lend it to him, too. It's not his fault he hasn't been paid and, whilst you may not see it as an 'emergency', it is important to him and is something he would have spent his money on if he had been paid on time. If he had been paid, spent it all, THEN come asking your OH to lend him some then I would say no, as he would need to be taught the value of money. But I don't see how he needs to learn a lesson from something that wasn't his fault?

Fantastic point.

newcook

You could actually get yourself massive brownie points as the best mom ever and find out where they are having the meal and have the champagne delivered to the table

Any

I have not seen such an overaction in a long time, OP sorry to disagree but I would think you are behaving like horror movie step mother from hell and not loving mother.
Your teaching about values in a case where the money has not arrived due to fault NOT of his own is greatly misplaced, especialy as you say you have no doubt about him repaying it.
Sounds just like you love your preaching.

victory

pinkpig08 wrote: »

I would lend it to him, too. It's not his fault he hasn't been paid and, whilst you may not see it as an 'emergency', it is important to him and is something he would have spent his money on if he had been paid on time. If he had been paid, spent it all, THEN come asking your OH to lend him some then I would say no, as he would need to be taught the value of money. But I don't see how he needs to learn a lesson from something that wasn't his fault?

True I agree, it was not so much a lesson but a don't spend what you don't have because then you end up owing and owing is debt and debt has to paid from the future...

victory

podperson wrote: »

I have to agree you are being a little harsh. If you had no money to lend him then fair enough but you would lend it for what you would class as an emergency but not for something that is obviously very important to him.
I fail to see how that is teaching him the value of money - either you are showing him how it is in the real world and he gets no money lent to him for anything and if, for example, he has no bus fare then he walks, if he can't afford his phone bill it gets cut off - which is what would happen to him if he had no one to borrow from, or you as his family are willing to help him out a little when he has been let down by his work and as long as he's not blowing his money on rubbish and he pays you back when agreed then does it really matter what he is using it for?
I know my parents would sometimes help me out when I was stuck - I would usually have a fight with them to make them take it back again! Did it give me a poor attitude to money? - no I don't think so, I have always followed their example - worked hard for what I have, pay my own way and try to be mse in attitude.

No of course not, we would not let him walk if we had the money to fund his bus fare of course not no.

victory

poet123 wrote: »

I don't think you will regret it, but if you don't give it you probably will....years down the line when they bring it up!!;)

Thank you:D

victory

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victory

Any wrote: »

I have not seen such an overaction in a long time, OP sorry to disagree but I would think you are behaving like horror movie step mother from hell and not loving mother.
Your teaching about values in a case where the money has not arrived due to fault NOT of his own is greatly misplaced, especialy as you say you have no doubt about him repaying it.
Sounds just like you love your preaching.

Thanks for your over-reaction post;) does not make much sense but always happy to help with releasing a mini rant:D

DS4215

I've only read the first and last page, but if it was my son taking his girlfriend out for a celebration I'd be paying for them both. Not somewhere expensive perhaps, but you can have a good meal for not too much money and it is important to both of them.